Do you clean your teens room when it gets REALLY REALLY bad?

With all those kids, that truly is a lot of cleaning, now I never cleaned my teenage son's room, after he was 15 that was his job to do. I found lots of junk in it as well too. To force him to wash them, I have no idea if he will do it, he is your son, you will know if that strategy would work or not.

I have done this in the past. My niece is now 13 (almost 14) and thankfully she's begun to clean her own room, mostly because she wants to be able to have friends and specifically her "boyfriend" over. Our house isn't that big so when her friends come over they go into her room. She knows to have this her room has to be cleaned up. Due to this usually on Friday night we get a ton of trash and dishes brought out. Not to mention the laundry. She actually did it mid-week though this week because her boyfriend could come over for them to work on their homework. It was either clean her room or sit at the dining room table, she didn't like those options It sounds like your kids should be old enough to do basics. The room might still be cluttered but have the trash and dishes out. It sounds like they need a reason too just like my niece did. If they want a party they might need to earn it or if they have other privileges you can use as leverage it might be good to use them.

no. we did a 'clean sweep' in both our daughters rooms (one is a teen, one is only 11) and agot rid of alot of stuff, but it is there responsibility to keep their room clean and also, there is no food allowed in their rooms!! (they dont have a tv or computer in their rooms either!) as for dirty clothes, it is their responsibility to bring down their laundry hamper to be washed...their father nor i have the time to deal with that!

My son is 14 and has basically been doing his own laundry since he was 11. I got tired of hearing that he has no clothes for school, and I got tired of not being able to see his floor. It takes less time and energy to teach them how to separate clothes, set the washer, add soap, etc. Also, my kids have done the dishes for the past couple of years, so I don't worry about that. If I cleaned their rooms and took out that much laundry, garbage, and dishes, they would be taking care of it. They would also have no T.V., video games, computer, Ipod, trampoline, bike, Littlest Pet Shop toys, etc. Why should we have to clean up after them past their toddlerhood?? After age 3 they are capable of learning to always pick up their stuff, not that they will, but they know they should. Lastly, why do you give them such a long time frame to clean the room?? How big is the room? 100 acres? Is there a forest or a paintball field in there? It shouldn't take more than an afternoon. My girls, 12 & 10, want to take the whole weekend to clean a small bedroom. The bunk beds take up half of the room!! I make a deal with them, if their room isn't clean by 'this' time. I'm taking your toys. I bag up the toys and take them to the shed, they think they went to the dump. The longer it takes them to clean, the longer they aren't allowed out of it. If they want to eat- they'll clean. I save the not eating one for when it's something that should only take 10 minutes, like gathering their dirty clothes or something.

I think your on the right track. I have in the past found that if you find the right "incentive" they will PERFORM. I honestly have the same problem. But I have tried to get the kids to do some of the things mentioned. My daughter 15 now does wash her own clothes. My son doesn't he is 20 almost 21. I like the no food in your room thought and I will try that. I will say to my son YOU will not eat in your room ever again until it is cleaned up. I don't get his dirty laundry any more (from his room) but I have been washing it. I AM NOT going to do it anymore thanks to YOU. This way I will have all my dishes in the kitchen. If he eats in the living room and leaves dishes, bags or whatever I will tell him he MUST EAT over the sink or at the counter if he CANNOT put his garbage in can or dishes in sink. I will tell my daughter the SAME. NO food is to be eaten in her room unless it is clean. Then if they are allowed to eat in their room and I find dishes if it wasn't the last THING they finished within 1 DAY they will loose the ability to do so again. Meaning before they actually go to bed all dishes must be OUT. With older children like yours and mine I would guess WE need to be more strict. BUT NOT CLEAN IT UP. I have done like someone else mentioned and actually helped them. During that time my daughter was always good and my son a mess. Now they both are. I do not go in there and could barely get past the door. I have health issues myself with seeing and they both know this. I have hyperthyroidism and graves disease. I cannot drive and I do miss the counter sometimes when I don't pay enough attention (rare) but still. I hope your issues aren't worse than mine. If so YOU definately need to CALL YOUR LINE. And show them YOUR NOT BLUFFING. If I don't wash my sons duds in like 2 hours he used to get angry. I said if you want something clean you can't just finally bring it out and expect it done in 2 hours. I need 24 hours or MORE. I will now just tell him to wash them himself. That way if they aren't clean he can take time or BLAME himself. I will have all my dishes and that will be that. I might give them each 1 weekend day ONLY if they help ME do their room. I am hoping to get company coming this summer and later this MONTH. So I may give them extra incentive to pick a day for helping me HELP THEM. If not they won't be allowed to open the door unless the hall is empty. They will have to peek out before exiting or maybe better yet I won't allow them in their room at all unless it's time for them to sleep. While the company is here anyways. God Blesses!

I try to keep it clean but sometimes i forget it so then i have to clean a lot =/.

I think we mothers must let our kids to do their own work & enjoy it. For that first we must share their work. Donot do all the work you alone or the kid alone. Let them enjoy it with you & he will used to do all the work with confidence.

I have done in the past but i got so fed up with it that now they have to do it themsleves otherwise they lose all their privileges. The trouble is their idea of cleaning is to sweep everything under the bed. My 15 year old does try to kept things clean but because he shares his room with his 16 and 7 year old brothers, who are the messy ones. He gives up trying to keep it tidy because he feels like it is a wasted effort.

No I do not clean his room, mine is 16 and I just refuse to do it, I think at 16 he should be doing it himself. All I do for him is change his bedding for him and maybe lick the polish around once a week. He is actually not that bad, he is just a bit untidy when it comes to his clothes and he will not always bring his washing down until he literally runs out of clothes and then he just fills the whole washing basket up, that really annoys me!!

No that was one area which was a no go area for me ,when they were staying at home.I used to get as far as opening the door and that was it i used to shut it again.If they wante to live in a tip that was up to them,but the funny thing was that my daughters were oh so messy,but my son was the opposite,he used to throw the contents of his bedrrom out into the passage and then he would tidy it all back into his room.The girls room was constantly full of clothes hanging about and plates and cups,oh it never seemed to end,and when you wanted a cup you knew where to go,if they wanted there clothes washed they had to be thrown into the bathroom ,or else they didnt get washed.They used to holler that there favourite tops etc werent clean,but that was there fault.

OMG my son was just like this, but I would not clean his room.. I would go in and wake him up at 8am and as soon as he got off his bed I would take the matress of his bed and put it in my room and told him when your room is clean and your laundry is done you can have your matress back.. It always got done that same day

Well I'm still a teen, but I don't have any brothers or sisters to look after =p My mom sometimes cleans my room when I get too lazy, but she's always nagging me about keeping it clean ;]

I think kids should learn to do these things themselves. My kids, 2 of them girls, haven't learned much from me because I always did things for them. Now I feel like I wasn't a good mom because I didn't didn't teach them much. I am afraid that when they have families of their own, they wouldn't know how to run their own homes.

We have the same problem. Our 16 year old girl don't know how to fix her room. I cleaned her room one time and told her to maintain the cleaning but never did it. Now when I visit her room everything is scattered. I am having a hard time identifying the clean clothes from the dirty ones because everything is in every place. No, Id didn't clean her room and let her feel how it is to sleep in a place like garage sale. Well, I don;t know what to do with her but I just want her to realize that dirty environment in unhealthy. Hope she will realize later.

Wow you give em a whole month. You are mor patient than I....lol I had step daughters and well they had a day when they were told clean it or go no where but to school and home. As for clothes they use to have them laying everywhere I got so tired of having to go in and getting the clothes well they were all taught how to do laundry. They couldn't get the laundry where it needed to go so they can and did learn to do their own even the 12 year old. As for dishes they were not allowed to take food in their rooms due to the same prob you are having and if a plate or bowl was found in there grounded. My mom didn't clean my room growing up I sure as heck not and didn't my step kids. The should be held responsible for that themselves. No clothes oh well they should of got them where they belonged.

I'm not going to clean their bedroom. They like it or not, they have to clean up their bedroom. i always practice my children be responsible for their cleanliness in everything. I always told them that cleanliness shows our real behaviour.

No I don't ever clean their rooms that is their responsibilty and if they have no clothes tough they should put them in the laundry basket. My girls I must admit are pretty good and will occasion if their rooms are bad ask for help sorting. The biggest bug bear is glasses and plates left up there in their rooms. This annoys me as they are not supposed to eat upstairs. I don't mind them taking a drink up for in the night but please please please bring the glass down in the morning. I close door on it. I have enough of their stuff laying around the communal parts of the house to clean without battling in their rooms too. Ellie :D

The first time i ever heard any one say "being a grandmother is better than being a mom". I thought "old lady are you crazy?" Well, now im a grandma and i can see she was so right. My kids are now grown with kids of their own. Not to change your subject. Just to let you know better days are coming. When my son was still at home and his room was just as you describe your son's rooms. I used to take a chair and a trash bag and park myself in his room while he cleaned it. I also had to do that when i asked him to mow the lawn or shovel the side walk. My daughter in her adult yrs has told me he used to tell her he would pay her to clean his room. She also said he never paid her after she done it. She on the other hand was a neat freak.

I would have to say no (when mine reaches that age), because i don't even clean up my 2 year olds room, i mean i help him, but he knows that when he is done playing he is supposed to pick up his toys. now of course he will get side tracked and forget a few, so i will go in and pick them up for him but he does most of it on his own.

hmmm,being a teen daughter;my mother cleans my room for me every now and aqain. before it was because i had a lot to do in school being football,winter and spring track manager and having to qo to day and night school to graduate on time so i kinda had no time to keep my room clean. i did have dishes here and there only because of some meets i went to i didnt get home till 10 sometimes 11 at night,so when i get home i would fix me something to eat and as soon as i eat i would fall asleep and when i get up for school the next morning i would have to hurry and get ready for school so i didnt have much time. but for the past few months i dont have no excuse. because i've been in night school [no more day school],no job,when my mom whom is 55 and works 2 jobs just to pay the morgage on the house ends up having to clean the house still. i just turned 18 last month and i feel bad knowing i dont halp out much. your sons [especially the grown ones] should be helping you out. i dont think you should do thier laundry;you make them do it thierselves. i know if anythinq,thats one thing my mother never has to tell me,i always wash my clothes and i even wash my mom's AND sister's clothes. teach your sons a lesson,especially the older lazy ones. i say take all thier laundry and put stains on them so it would make them wash them because im pretty sure they wont qo to school with stains on thier clothes.