Can be an arrangement marriage work later on?

Philippines
May 2, 2008 5:46am CST
Im a very poor filipina who is confusing on a decision wheather im going to marry an american who willing to help my family if i married him. i have an American friend who has a son that has a serious medical problem.. he is now letting me decide if im going to marry his 20 year old son.. but we dont love each other yet. i have also heard of couples who loved each other when they got married but later on , just ended up divorce. if you are on my situation,, what will be your decision?
3 responses
chubbychubchub
@chubbychubchub (90)
• Philippines
2 May 08
well as long your willing to take the risk then go. sometimes sacrifices can gain fruitfully, and you can teach you self to love him, as long your willing to accept him and be with him all the time. you cannot really do anything if your marriage wont work, but if your willing to marry him for the sake of your family then why not.. just do your best to make that marriage work. at least you can say to the end i done everything i can, if it doesn't work then its not my fault. to be more helpful balance everything. if your decision will make a lot of people happy then go for it. if not then don't do it. its between the people around you and you self.
wendilyn
@wendilyn (60)
• Philippines
3 May 08
yeah im willing to take the risk just for the sake of my family,, besides this guy is good too and i think our marriage will just work later on if we have lived together for long.. well i have already heard of situations like me who got married wothout love but became a succesfull couple that last forever.. but i just always pray to God that hes just going to always guide us to the best decisions in our life,, and if ever im really destined to marry this guy, i just hope hes goiing to be a good husband for me too.. thanks
ahna09
@ahna09 (106)
• Philippines
2 May 08
well it depends... do you really know that friend of yours...?? is he really trust worthy..?? are you sure that your gonna be safe there..?? what kind of serious medical problem is that..?? well i think fix marriage can work... if... both individuals... are ready to accept each other... you have to clean your mind and your heart... prepare yourself for the changes that will come sooner or later... for me it will work... i can learn how to love him... but... i will marry this guy if... i really need to.. like as if my family dont eat anymore... something like that... but if i could still do something for them... to support them...i wont! God bless you... by the way im a filipina too.. i know what you are going through right now..
wendilyn
@wendilyn (60)
• Philippines
3 May 08
yes Ahna thanks.. well i cant say that i really know him because we havent meet personally yet, but hes coming here this coming august.. i know im also safe there too cause this 20 year old american has a stepmom who is a filipina nad aside from that, he also have little siblings to really love me.. well this guy is trust worthy too and im willing to accept him, hes only too shy sometimes and i think hes not that really hard to fall in love with.. he is handicapped but thats alright for me as long as he would not just abuse me physically and he has been telling me too that he can accept me whatver i look like,, i also owe a lot to his family too.. you know hes father is helping my family to get through financial problems.. so i think it would be unfair if im not going to give back hope for them too. im really happy to meet someone like you here ahna,, thank you very much
chiyochan
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
5 May 08
first, why does his family wants you to marry their son? are they your family friends? if so.. why are they going to help the family of yours when you married to their family? i think some arranged marriages do work... in chinese and in indians.. i have heard a lot about arranged marriages. for one.. get to know this family first.. you wouldn't want to end up all beaten and etc in a strange country - if you will be brought to the us to live with him. second - is he really capable of starting a family...? third - will he amrry you and try to love you at the very least?