Let's Talk About Something Else Then.Like Love.....??????????? (grrrrrrrrrrrrr)

Aww, I like that note, and I for one really needed to hear it, but that's for another discussion... To answer your question.. How did I know my husband was the one? Well, mine's a bit of a story, grab some popcorn.. We'd been friends for over a year prior to dating. At the time I met him I was already in a relationship, and a bad one at that. I was constantly cheated on, verbally abused, and occasionally physically abused. I have always been a strong minded and strong willed person, but for some reason the jerk I was with was able to get right through me and get me to go against my better judgement and forgive him over and over again. Well, needless to say that relationship left me wounded. I had lost my self esteem, sense of worth, and was left with absolutely no trust in men, or people in general. My husband had always been the exact opposite of the person I was dating. He was kind hearted and honest, but not the least bit charming or romantic. He had been in very few relationships, and was not nearly as "experienced" as I was. I had never really seen myself dating a person like him, and for awhile had no interest in doing so. I tried to convince myself to give him a chance, but never really felt any sort of emotion or attraction for him. So we remained just friends. It really happened quite suddenly. One day, after I'd been out of my bad relationship for six months and was finally rebuilding my own self esteem, my future husband came to visit me at work. I noticed myself get extremely excited to see him, and even stopped and wondered why I was doing this. It's only him, my friend, nobody to get excited about. That's when I knew I was beginning to have feelings for him. Shortly there after we began dating, and two months later moved in together. I remember a conversation I had with my mom, it was during the first year of our relationship. I said to her "I know we haven't been together for long, but if he asked me right now if I would marry him, I'd say yes, and I doubt I'd ever regret it". I just always felt so comfortable with him. Even though I have little trust in men, I have never had a lack of trust in this particular man. I have always felt very secure in our relationship, and knowing his history prior to getting involved with him really helped. If I were to ever lose him, I doubt I could ever be with another man. I just don't think I'd ever be able to trust someone else this much, or feel this secure.

How did I know that my wonderful husband was "the one"? Well ours is a different kind of story. We have known each other since he was 3 and I was 5. We dated off and on throughout high school. We were best friends our entire lives. We both went into different long term relationships when we hit our late teens/early twenties but they didn't work out for various reasons. When we found each other again we knew what we wanted. We wanted to be with someone who could be a true partner and friend. We knew that was each other. And we have been together now for 18 years.

what i feel to you Zed, is your inlove, person got this kind of question mare inlove but they cannot even express what the meaning of thier feeling to that person, because you think that you will be dis-appointed if you want to tell him/her.

The very first time I set eyes on my now husband, I told my friend that he was the one I was going to marry. We both laughed about it, I knew right then and there that he was the one for me. He is 7 years older than I am and when I met him he already had served his time in the army and was going to school to learn his trade as an electrician. No, he didn't fall in love with me right away, I had not given up on him but I did leave for the summer to go visit my dad and it was during that summer that I got a very very long letter from him. In the letter he let me know how he felt for me and was just worried at first about the age difference and it scared him but he thought about it long and hard and talked to his dad about being scared. He did ask me to marry him in that letter and wanted me to call him and talk. I was so excited and told my mother and she was as excited as I was. She felt like he would provide for me and make me happy. It isn't always easy but we are still happy together after all these years. While I am replying to this discussion may I say that I did respond to your first discussion on the one taken away and tried to on the second one but it was already taken down but anyway I am happy for you and your accomplishments on here. Oh man I hope I didn't say anything wrong in that last paragraph to have my response removed.

Don't feel bad, as when I was a newbie here some of my discussions were deleted too, for something they call a "milestone"--(Not in the main guidelines, but somewhere else it is mentioned as a no-no), and I sure did not report you, but I winced when I read that other post and thought, bummer, somebody else will. I love myLot but not enough to let it destroy my heart, lol, or any other part of me. Well, I can't say I'm in love with your saying, because I define love a lot differently, but if it works, hey! I don't believe in giving anyone the ability to destroy my heart and trust, in my view, is like a bank account where if a friend or family member or even a loved one has performed certain acts over a certain amount of time that show they can be trusted and then they break that trust, it is like they just took out a little deposit from their own trust savings account. But if someone recently met does it, then that is the end of the relationship. Love is a play back and forth of give and take where if the score is pretty even most of the time, all is well. But if one person makes all of the deposits and the other person makes all of the withdrawals that is not love. This many sound corny, but I do think there is a still quiet place deep within each of us where we know things in a spiritual rather than factual way. We can be attracted to someone in a noisy flamboyant way, but if we question the relationship and withdraw into the inner depths of our own knowing, then we know if the relationship is true or not. Another hint: If someone seems too good to be true s/he usually is.

zed I am a widow now butI remember the first time I met my husband to be that there were sparks. I was a nurses aid and he was the orderly on our floor. we were making a surgical bed together. I thought he was good looking but a smarty pants know it all. I wanted to smack him one when he gave me a lecture on how to properly make a surgical bed.lol yet something about him mademe want to see this cocky man more maybe just out of curiosity and so when he asked me for a date a dayor so later I accepted. One thing led to another and I knew at once that this was my man . the one who was my destiny. He and I had a lot in common as we came from middle class working families and we liked the same things and wanted the same things in life but also there was a spark between us, a sort of' passion I guess you could call it. I had never felt this before with any guy and had met others better looking and in better jobs but there was no spark, no excitement. Also he accepted me as a friend a lover with no conditions and even my own parents did not do that. he was my best friend, my confidante, my every thing. I had never conceived of being with anyone else. he was the one.

why would you not give somebody a +, anybody who answers and it truthfully and thoughtful should have a + how can you tell when you love somebody, when you think of him or her even when they are not around, when you look forward to seeing him or hearing him on the phone, when you are concerned about what he or she is doing, when you want to do the same things, even if you didn't like them before. When you want to please him or her, when the most important thing is to see him or her smile and when you feel so special when you hear the words I love you come from him or her.

That is an interesting quote.For me, if I am with my soulmate, my heart is his so he can break it if he wants. I haven't found the "the One" so this is just a guess. I hope that i just feel loved and respected. He and I have enough in common that we enjoy each other's company.He really listens to me and I really listen to him.I hope to just know he is perfect for me. Don't that he is "Perfect" but that we were made for each other.He can live with my faults and I can live with his. It isn't a chore to be together.

actually , we don't know wheather the person with you is the right one ,so we keep moving and seeking the right one !

Zed_ you'll have to give me a - on this answere because I have no idea how people see the look of love. I see the look of something, but apparently it's not love. My son and daughter-in-law have dated since high school and recently married. My daughter-in-law told me there was something in my son's eyes that told her she wanted to be with him for the rest of his life. Ahhh. Wouldn't that be nice? I like Bette Middler's song_ 'if you think love is only for the lucky and the strong_ ' The song continues to say that love is there but we don't know it's coming. But since love is not for me right now, the song plays like this in my mind_ 'I think love is only for the lucky and the strong.' I think your ending quote is a killer and that's what makes love so scary and thrilling. You're in a cheerios mood? I love that expression. See you here and there. It's okay to give me the -. I don't have the love formula, sorry.

Hey zed. I am afraid that I can not give you the answer now because I have not found my one, have you? But my friend and I came to a conclusion the other day that you will not know he/she is the one immediately. But after some time of being together, that "someone" becomes "the one". I think my "one" should be caring, understand me and of course love me. I care more about the soul communication. As to the appearance, it's really not that important to me.

That is a lovely little note, I like that and it so true. I remember when I saw my BF for the first time. I walked into a dive shop and there he was, standing there talking to someone and my heart just went 'whooooooossssh' and I thought to myself -that's the man for me. Then I got to know him and I said to myself this is DEFINITELY the guy for me and I have been thinking the same thing ever since. So it started off with chemistry and then everything else went with it, we had the same love of music, the same love for motorbikes (he had a Harley Davidson), our passion for the sea, the love of seeing different cultures and countries.... it just goes on and on. Hope you had a restful time at the office working on the computer (LOL). Thanks for sharing this discussion with us!

There was a spark the first time I actually talked me my husband. I had this amazing feeling of trust of him that I had never had with anyone else. I also felt a deep need to protect him like I had never felt before. I saw that while on the outside he was tuff and sometimes abrasive he had and has the largest heart I have ever seen. We actually hung out for about 3 weeks together in between classes, and we would go to our co-ed tennis practices together (we were in college), I was already pretty crazy about him before he had even kissed me for the first time. One day after we were dating for just about 3 weeks there was a moment that was just overwhelming to me and I realized that this was it. I just wanted to hug him and hold him forever. That had never happened to me that strongly before, the best thing is I felt my heart was completely safe in his hands, and that was the most amazing feeling ever, and it still is. I wish for everyone to experience such love.

Love is giving the last piece of chicken to someone else, even though you want it.

hello, zed. nothing is sure in this world, all one has got to do is just trust. first of all, trust is not to be earned but it is suppose to be done, by you. we have a false conception that in order for us to know that person is the one if he/she would love us the same or even more. we have to be the right person to ourselves, only then would we know that the person we are with is the right person for us. a lot of relationships ends in breaking up because they both want to do their own thing and they do not want to compromise, thinking unconsciously that the other person's way is wrong but actually just having a different perspective or approach in doing things.love is not just a feeling it is also about understanding and letting the other person be so he/she could shine more. it is not all about who has the upper hand, not because we are the man, we are the "king"! we should treat our relationship like we treat our bestfriends. isn't it better if our best "bestfriend" is the one we love?

I met my first husband when I was 18 and split up with him in my early 30s. I met my 2nd husband when I was 34 and this weekend we celebrate 6 years since we first met. I knew he was the "one" because when we first started dating we could speak on the phone for hours every night - sometimes till 3 or 4 am and not be tired for work the next day, we never run out of things to talk about, we can laugh at the same things without saying a word, if he's in pain, I feel pain and vice versa. When I cooked for my ex it rarely turned out well, when I cook for my husband now it always turns out well - he says it's because real love is a special ingredient! We can tell each other's moods during the day when we speak on the phone, I can tickle him till he roars with laughter but he wouldn't do it to me because he knows I hate being tickled. He makes me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world (and I'm no girl, I'm 40 lol) just by looking at me, kissing my cheek softly or my forehead. I would go on, but it sounds too mushy now haha!

Hey how r ypu? Yeah that one's my favourite too, but nothing about my love seems to be totally captivating, infact i still wonder, y did i love him? I can say, love is blind, and so i dont know why i loved my husband, just made it feel so right...

I have a whole website all about love with all my thoughts if you want to check it out...it might be easier than trying to retype it all!! http://itmightbelove.com - I think I have an article called "5 ways to know someone is the one" I knew my hubby was the one when we went camping in the rain for a weekend...there were many moments before and after, but that's a true test of a relationship! I like your qoute!

Hey zed. I see you lost two discussions today. I responded to the one about your 500 post and then the one about losing that discussion and now it's gone too! Word of warning - mylot doesn't like it when we post about our ratings, earnings or post counts. They think that we should just keep that to ourselves. So yes, let's talk about LOVE instead! I love your quote. When I was much younger it was very true for me. But these days, I'm more jaded and disillusioned with love. I married for the second time a few years ago and really believed he was the one, only to find out after we got married that he was more interested in controlling me than loving me. So you just never really know what you are going to 'get'. But everyone needs to love and be loved and perhaps I'll get third time lucky! I hope so.

if i told you that the first day i saw my wife i know she was the one... well thats i lie. we met in a band i was the bassist and we are looking for another female singer. she met us for audition and i didnt care at all. to be honest i was in a relation, though i was in a rough relationship already. so having her around... practise and meetings i find her sweet. she really is a good singer but you cant see her boasting about it. she always bring something we can eat after practise. and as you know us males the good way to our hearts is through our tummy. she is a good cook. and because i was in a not good relationship i told my girlfriend that we need to rest for the mean time. we started talking a lot during practise, i started calling her on the phone (though she was really busy for she and her cousin has a catering business). i tried everything ang anything to know her better. if we dont have gig i go to her place meet her mom and sis and of course you will know a person better if you go visit her in her place. so thats when i felt that i need her in my life. this is the type of person i want to grow old with. so i did anything and everything to have her as my girlfriend. we are married now for 5 years and we have a two year old son