Are you having problems understanding your parents?
By tigerdragon
@tigerdragon (4297)
Philippines
May 3, 2008 11:12am CST
I use to get irritated whenever my father does something really childish and i had wish that he would grow up more and try to be understanding of me until my father got really very sick and i got worried so much, and suddenly, out of the blue, my friend , who does not know my situation, forwarded me a power point that change my perspective. i came to understand why my parents are like that. it humbled me and i felt so ashamed. here is a text copy of that power point for all of you to copy and a link to download the power point. I hope this will change your lives as it did mine:
A Letter To My Son
The day that you see me old and I am already not, have patience and try to understand me …
If I get dirty when eating… if I can not dress… have patience. Remember the hours I spent teaching it to you.
If, when I speak to you, I repeat the same things thousand and one times… do not interrupt me… listen to me.
When you were small, I had to read to you thousand and one times the same story until you get to sleep…
When I do not want to have a shower, neither shame me nor scold me…
Remember when I had to chase you with thousand excuses I invented, in order that you wanted to bath…
When you see my ignorance on new technologies… give me the necessary time and not look at me with your mocking smile…
I taught you how to do so many things… to eat good, to dress well… to confront life…
When at some moment I lose the memory or the thread of our conversation… let me have the necessary time to remember… and if I cannot do it, do not become nervous… as the most important thing is not my conversation but surely to be with you and to have you listening to me…
If ever I do not want to eat, do not force me. I know well when I need to and when not.
When my tired legs do not allow me walk...
… give me your hand… the same way I did when you gave your first steps.
And when someday I say to you that I do not want to live any more… that I want to die… do not get angry… some day you will understand…
Try to understand that my age is not lived but survived
Some day you will discover that, despite my mistakes, I always wanted the best thing for you and that I tried to prepare the way for you..
You must not feel sad, angry or impotent for seeing me near you. You must be next to me, try to understand me and to help me as I did it when you started living
Help me to walk… help me to end my way with love and patience. I will pay you by a smile and by the immense love I have had always for you.
love you son…
Your father
http://lyrics.mywebdunia.com/files/utility/parents-SLIDE_SHOW.pps
6 people like this
18 responses
@positiveminded1977 (7072)
• India
5 May 08
Hi tigerdragon, I think around ten people sent me that PowerPoint as a forward. It is great. But it is quite natural for children to feel irritated or exasperated with parents; likewise, not all parents are great as parents. And, in addition, it is quite normal for even good parents to feel exasperated or irritated with their children.
The condition becomes bad only when the irritation/exasperation becomes chronic. :)
I love my Mom, but I do admit I get really irritated with her sometimes. She too returns the favor. When I was a kid, she used to get annoyed with me, something that still happens, now that I are grown up. These are all natural and normal human feelings. We don't have any serious ill feeling between us.
That little PP won't cure us of our irritation/exasperation with our parents completely. It could however, make us feel guilty for a few minutes/ days/ months depending on how sensitive we are!
Cheers and happy mylotting.
@tigerdragon (4297)
• Philippines
5 May 08
it does not mean that if your mom did it to you, your actions of doing it to her is justified. i hope that it will not be a vicious cycle to be passed on. i know that this over-used forwarded message will not move mountains, not my intention. i just felt it needs to read by people who wants to be reminded by it. definitely not a cure but a good and a positive preventive measure. thanks for discussing your point of view, my friend. don't be a stranger, i will see you around.
2 people like this
@positiveminded1977 (7072)
• India
5 May 08
LOL, that's not the point I wished to make. It is not that me and Mom are taking revenge on each other all the time or that I am paying my Mom back for her shortcomings in raising me. We enjoy a great relationship all right.
Point I wished to make is this: it is impossible to be human as well as not to feel frustrated/irritated/depressed/angry with another, including parents or kids, at the same time. It is human, so quite forgivable.
The PP I went through was quite cute. I even shared it with my Mom. She even told me about the frustrations she felt/ still feels about her own Mom, who is now in her eighties and very very old.
Point I wished to make was it is ok to feel frustrated and say you are frustrated instead of hiding behind impossible ideals. Our parents understand that however much we show our irritation, we still love them, just as we once trusted them when they scolded us or showed frustration against us that they still loved us.
Cheers and happy mylotting
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
4 May 08
oh man that is so true . I talk to my mom on the phone and not sure she remebers but I know she knows whoI am when talking to her and we talk of good old times andme and my brother try to help her but I think my sis who was the youngest just gets upset with her now that she dont keep clean room or remember to eat and she was mommas girl its sad the way she acts toward our mom
2 people like this
@tigerdragon (4297)
• Philippines
4 May 08
download the link below the letter and send it to her so she can read and weep.
1 person likes this
@smacksman (6053)
•
3 May 08
Very true.
Like the young man talking -
'When I was 18 I thought my parents very stupid.
When I was 21 I was amazed how much my parents had learned in three years!'
@tigerdragon (4297)
• Philippines
3 May 08
hey, smacksman! thanks for responding so fast. like lightning! if you like it, below is a link of the power point presentation of that verse. it's a tear jerker.
@Jakesnake1978 (1380)
• United States
7 May 08
Yeah, my father is pretty happy being with his girlfriend. While my mother is supporting herself, living with my oldest sister in the family. I was having difficult times when my parents left each other as of October 1997. My father has been out to bars a lot instead of taking care of business at home. If you can, just seek counseling. Especially when you are depressed.
@inday312saylon (747)
• Philippines
6 May 08
Your topic just hit a soft spot. For years, I couldn't really understand my mom. It was only when I fully understood the lesson of the mantra "you cannot give what you don't have" that I understood why my mom behaves the way she does. She was brought up devoid of affection and loving care. That's why she was same to us her children. Deep in my heart, I know that she loves me, she's just not very showy. I realized because she was brought up that way. Because of this lesson, I try to be different to my children. I show them how much I really care for them. The kisses and hugs were what I missed most while I was growing up, but the same things I shower my kids with. You cannot give what you don;t have indeed.
2 people like this
@tigerdragon (4297)
• Philippines
7 May 08
glad to hear you had that paradigm shift, only a few people would dare to change things like you are doing now. thank you , inday!
1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
3 May 08
Very true.. I din realise all this until i read this power point.. Most of the time we only think of ourselves but not the hard work that our parents had put in for us.. We really taken them for granted without realising it.. From now on, i will really treasure and cherish my parents, now that i've fully understand their love and care for me..
@tigerdragon (4297)
• Philippines
4 May 08
i am glad you learned from this because it did change my perspective about my parents.save the power point so you go back to it and remind you.
1 person likes this
@kitty_7 (278)
• Netherlands
6 May 08
When you grow up, when you become parents, when you have your children, you will start to understanding your parents!
More communication, more understanding! : )
Do not forgot you presents do everything good for you without asking any rewards!
@subha12 (18441)
• India
5 May 08
i have already read the portion you mentioned. i got it as a mail forward. all the lines are so nice and justified. its true that most of us get irritated when our parents do something childish. but we forget how they did even more for us. we should also remember that when we grow old and if are treated the same way?
@tigerdragon (4297)
• Philippines
5 May 08
at these times where all of us are chasing money, money, money. we have to be reminded of whom we came from. we have to be thankful for bringing us to this wonderful life. they gave their patience and understanding and it is time to show them what they have taught us.
1 person likes this
@Aussies2007 (5336)
• Australia
4 May 08
That's a very good point...
Unfortunately not something that people think about... or even realise.
Most of us take our parents for granted... as it is regarded as their responsability to bring us up and educate us. Which is true...
But you will not understand fully your parents until you are a mature adult yourself. Because we all need to experience life in order to understand life. You cannot learn life in a book.
@tigerdragon (4297)
• Philippines
4 May 08
oh yes, aussie, my friend. we have to experience it personally. i hope you can share this to your friends.
1 person likes this
@anawar (2404)
• United States
4 May 08
Thanks for sharing the letter. Because I have had problems in my life and people have helped, I know I will always owe a debt to anyone in my life who needs help, including my parents.
I have an affinity for older people, even as their health declines. When I see them, my heart reaches out to them, without any conscious effort on my part.
I feel them responding in kind and I get this feeling of glowing all through me.
My parents are unusual people. They are very independent and have set up their lives so their children will not be faced with the responsibilties of caring for them later.
They're both in their 80's and live in assisted living that looks like a resort. They're very happy there.
It's a bit funny, but I think I'll miss the chance to help them out if they need me later. I love them and would like to pay back all they have done for me.
2 people like this
@tigerdragon (4297)
• Philippines
5 May 08
it would be nice if you keep the letter and the power point so you could share it to everyone.
1 person likes this
@longbangod (1785)
• Philippines
4 May 08
I have no problems understanding my parents. I do undertand all the things that they were doing for us. Though sometimes especially now that my mother is very old already, there are certain things that are being squabbled but I still understands her. Its normal when people get old, they seem to be unpredicted most of the times.
Thanks for sharing that letter. I read it before and its really nice.
2 people like this
@tigerdragon (4297)
• Philippines
4 May 08
thanks for responding and re-reading the letter, i know most of you have read this before but it's best that we get reminded of it.have a great day.
1 person likes this
@meetinspring (98)
• China
5 May 08
hello tigerdragon.
Thank you for sharing it. My parents are not so old now, and they're still strong supports for me. Even now, I'm so grown up, when I'm facing difficulties, they'll always be there, giving me good advices, comforting me, doing everything they could to help me and protect me. I should never forget these. And when the years come they become old, it's time for me to repay the love and patience.
2 people like this
@tigerdragon (4297)
• Philippines
5 May 08
hello, nice to have you around. keep this and share it to your friends. this will fuel your love and understanding to your parents. show them you love them while they are here.
1 person likes this
@lovenluck (1068)
• India
5 May 08
Most of the people really fail to understand their parents,most of them fails to understand the sacrifices they made to make us the person we are .Frankly i too failed to understand my parents, specially my dad. Well the letter did affect my conscience a bit for a few months back was almost this way.But few days back i was just alone and pondering on all these think and suddenly started thinking about it and was really ashamed of myself and the way i behaved with them,But now i have mended my ways and I am a better son.
@tigerdragon (4297)
• Philippines
5 May 08
let us not stop there. we need to share this love to everyone we know. thank you for dropping by , lovenluck!
1 person likes this
@panther04 (76)
• Philippines
5 May 08
hey tigerdragon, the letter is nice i remember that some of my colleague forwarded it on my email and after reading it i felt i want to cry cause i remember the days i argue with them or thinking that they are acting childish and stuff like that. this letter is just a wake up call for all us...
@tigerdragon (4297)
• Philippines
5 May 08
yes, it is a wake up call. i know this has circulated in the net in different power point presentation but i have thought of putting it here for the others who have not read it could experience it. thank you for dropping by!
1 person likes this
@ZGMFX20A (4)
• United States
4 May 08
This is very true. This is another proof that we will all be in this position one day. Right now we might be rearing our kids but soon they will be taking care of us. This is natural and its sad for the people that don't understand this. Life is like a circle. When we are born we need help understanding the world around us. When we become old we need help to understand all over again because we no longer have the capacity to do it on our own anymore. It really teaches you to respect and care for your parents in a more loving way rather than just thinking of them as a burden or a hassle.
2 people like this
@tigerdragon (4297)
• Philippines
4 May 08
yes, very true, my friend and thank you for dropping by mu discussion post.
1 person likes this
@lucy02 (5015)
• United States
4 May 08
Thank you for posting this. My mother is elderly and she seems to be declining a little mentally every day. When I am irritated or impatient I will try to remember this. In fact I
may go back and reread it when I forget.
@Jemina (5770)
•
25 Jun 08
I remember reading this letter before and I think it's here on myLot too.
Opps, actually I got it in friendster (pala).
Anyway, it brought tears to my eyes as I could virtually imagine what's going on in their minds when people get old.
Actually, our oldies are still so much lucky because we take care of them. In some countries like the USA, Canada, and the UK most of them send their ageing parents to the Elderly's Housing Care.
Anyway, this letter whoever wrote it did a wonderful job bringing awareness to some ingrate children out there.
@Jakesnake1978 (1380)
• United States
7 May 08
Yep, my father did something always dumb. Using money towards nasty stuff and bars instead of just paying attention to our family business. And my mother thought it was not good at all. I am sorry to say that my father is kind of dumb. That affected all of us. That was how I get blamed for most of the crap that happened at home. I never done anything wrong at all. Since that kept on coming to me. But it is not happening anymore. That is good thing. All the misblamings on me made me really depressed. I even wanted to hang myself. That is true. I am being honest. Good thing that did not happen at all. I could have done that over all that. Now that I do support and understand my mother's ideas of leaving and starting a new life.
1 person likes this
@tigerdragon (4297)
• Philippines
8 May 08
concerning your dad's misdemeanor is a different issue but i hope you do not get affected too much of what is happening beyond your control. you are in control of yourself, you are the captain of your ship. it is good that you do get affected at times since they are family but remember that they can only understand on so much.just as long as you are doing what you are suppose to do then nothing else matters. no one can put a strong man down, like you.have a bright positive day.
@jesbellaine (4139)
• Philippines
3 May 08
Hello there.
Thank you for sharing this. It is really nice.
Happy Mylotting!
@tigerdragon (4297)
• Philippines
4 May 08
save this one on your PC, the letter and the power point, you may want to share it to your friends.
1 person likes this
