just venting!

I am just guessing here, but I think you are young, early 20's? Yeah those things used to bother me too, I don't understand how people can keep their house immaculate, regardless of how many kids they have or how many hours they work. I used to live across the street from someone who thought cleanliness was so important. She told me she HAD to vacuum everyday cause she didn't like the feel of crumbs and things under her feet. Whenever she came in my house after I'd just cleaned she commented on how clean it looked. I'm not like that. I'm not a germ-a-phobe. I've never purchased hand sanitizer. I put my baby down on the floor regardless if it's clean or not. I don't wash a blanket that falls on the floor. I mop when I begin to stick to the floor. I sweep when my hard wood floors look carpeted. Ok, those are exagerations, but I'm not too into cleaning. My dishes are washed, my laundry is clean, I'm done for the day :) I have more important things to do with my time!

As a fellow stay-at-home mom I feel your pain. I have three kids who tear up the house faster than I can keep it up, and because my significant other works grueling hours and does hard labor, I couldn't even imagine asking him to help out. To add to the stress, the lack of a second income prevents us from having a chance to get ahead financially. That said, I wouldn't change my stay-at-home status for ANYTHING. My family comes first and when other people make snide remarks about my lack of outside employment, I point out that daycare costs for my kids would be more than my paycheck prior to having my third child. I don't have to look for last minute childcare options if a child falls sick. I have time to cuddle and nuture my children while they still want me to. Lets face it, they grow up all too quickly and the day is coming when they will think I'm old out of date and an embarassment. Thankfully my other half is in support and agreement of my status and prefers me to be available to our family regardless of the hour of day. We have a very traditional home life, which is rare these days. I don't expect anyone else to do the housework. If there are fresh little muddy footprints on the floor when my tired man comes in for dinner, he knows it is because I'm getting dinner ready, not because I'm lazy, and it will be taken care of as soon as I have a moment. Anyone who wants to balk at our life can stuff it. It works for us and thats all that truely matters.

I'd like to see those people try to deal with staying home all day with several children under school age and see how the deal. Not just for a day mind you but for a week or two. They would quickly change their tune on the matter. Staying at home with the kids and keeping the house from falling apart is a hard job and it never seems to end. I don't know how these people can keep their places spotless. I keep it clean but not spotless that's for sure. I have better things to do with my time then to chase after every little dust bunny or smudge mark in the house. I don't know what type of music you listen to but a couple of years ago Lonestar came out with a song called "Mr. Mom". The video for it is very funny and really shows what stay at home mom's have to go through. You can view it here: http://new.music.yahoo.com/videos/--2171755 Figure you might need a smile today.

I think it's important for moms (or the dad alternatively) to stay at home with the kids especially when they're that young. I don't think it's important to be comparing one's house from another. I do chores everyday. That's enough for me. God didn't do everything in one day, so why should I?

Hi stacyv81! It is unfair when people judge you by the kind of career you have or by the size of income you get. I know how you feel because I am a plain housewife with no income of my own. Friends usually ask my hubby what does your wife do? It makes me feel small and embarrassed when I hear those questions because they usually say mine, does this and that. I have told myself over and over again that I have nothing to feel insecure or little about compared to other wives since I have my own contribution in this world. So, my dear friend don't let it get into you. Your being a stay home mom is beyond compare. You have chosen a career that is very important and valuable and that is to raise your kids with your own supervision, love, care and guidance and to be with them as they are still young and growing up. You have chosen to be there for hubby, cook his meals, clean the house, be a supportive wife and be a full time mother for his children. What more can a husband ask in a wife? I just think that people who judge other people and loves comparing themselves to other people and makes them small are the ones who are empty and insecure. Just my thoughts. Take care and have a nice day!

It's a sad thing that stay at home moms don't get the credit they deserve. You are doing a tougher job then working a 40 hour a week job outside the home. You are a caregiver, a maid, a taxi service, a nurse, a teacher, a cook and oh so much more. You do more in one day, even if the house isn't spotless, than most people do at a full time job in 3 days. I know, I am a stay at home mom and there have been times when I went out and got a part time job to get a vacation lol. I know what you mean about having little ones and not being able to get the house as clean as you might like. By the time you get the laundry and dishes done the kids need your attention. There are lots of diapers to be changed and lunch to be made. Then you might get to do some sweeping and washing of counters but what's that the 4 year old got a boo boo and is screaming which woke both the babies. How many hands do you need? lol Don't let those who do not appreciate or respect what you do get you down. You are doing a tough job and one of the most important jobs you could ever do. Being a stay at home parent is tough but oh so rewarding.

Hi stacyv81, Being a stay at home mom is a real job and a very good one at that. Don't worry about your house not being spotless, spending time with your children is much more important. I'm sure there are lots of moms out there who would love to be able to do that but are not able. Blessings.

You do have a "real" job. One that is 24/7. When someone asks you what your job is tell them you are a Domestic Engineer and the benifits are great. You can sleep in, (at times), go for lunch in the park whenever you want, and you get the biggest reward of all, all of the hugs and kisses you want all day long. You will never truly get fired from your job, so you have job security, just at different levels as life progresses. SO, I hope you like your new job title. Oh, plus, free fitness training all day long. Good luck on your new job ***Domestic Engineer***

Don't let anyone tell you that you don't have a "real" job! You have the most important job in the whole world! You're raising children that will be well-adjusted for having their mother at home with them, they'll be secure and productive adults. Those women that look down you don't have their priorities in the right place if they're working outside the home merely because they want to. A messy house isn't a crime, either. As long as it's clean and fairly sanitary, nobody should care if it doesn't look perfect. I had two children less than a year apart and I know how tough it is to keep house while paying attention to the kids. You just remember that you are doing the hardest, most honorable job in the world and don't let anyone tell you differently!

i think you should be commended for choosing to tend to your family rather than toss them at a daycare worker to raise while you chase the almighty evil dollar, and your "peers" should respect that rather than berrate you. what youre doing IS a REAL job!! take a look in the newspaper and see how much youd have to pay for someone to tend to yer 3 children 24/7, someone to cook, clean, do laundry as well as the various umpteen billion other things you do all day as a lowly housewife. you just dont punch a clock and get a paycheck at the end of the week.. yer payment comes in the form of drooly kisses and crayon murals and the satisfaction of being there for the children you love. im a fellow housewife.. ive dedicated my life to raising my family, and i get the same flack from others about not having a "real" job. its sad really that full time mothers get such little respect nowadays thanx to the bra burning feminists that dicate you should do differently with yer life. take heart and be proud of yer chosen profession. its much more important to raise the future than it is to sit in a board room trying to impress people that barely know yer name getting an ulcer while a stranger raises your babies. kudos to you for being one of the chosen few!

I am a stay at home mum as well. I find people who do work don't realise how hard it is to be at home with young kids. My husband didn't realise what it was like until I told him that to replace me he would have to hire a childcarer, a secretary, a washerwoman, a nurse, a cook, plus more!!!!! Don't worry about what other people think about your home. I think spending time playing with & loving your kids is way more important than mopping the floor or hanging out the washing.

You have a job and that is cooking,cleaning laundry,cleaning bottoms, whipping noses, being a schoffer [spelled wrong] You have a job you don't shove your kids off on someone else your a great mom and you do truly have a job.

Are you talking "peers" in terms of women in your same age group? That must be it because your only other "peers" would be women who are also stay at home moms with three young children to run after all day, every day. I don't know any women with three young children to run after who is capable of keeping up with them and keeping a spotless house. By the way you have a real job...it is called your children! Don't worry what others say to you. You are currently holding the most important job there is.

Yea well who cares what other people think? Do they pay your bills? Maybe some of them are jealous.I tell you I'm trying to do every thing I can to stay home. And I don't have small children, nor is my house spotless.And I could give a rats @#* what other people think.I'm happy.Who do you need to make happy?

you shouldnt worry about what other people say about your house, are your kids happy and healthy? who cares what your house looks like? i used to worry about trying to be a super mom when was a stay at home mom (i was one for 10 years!) now my daughters are older (11 and 15) but my house still looks a mess because i work! when these people say this about their wives keeping the house spotless, they prolly dont have kids...

I agree. I only have the one son and when he was home with me, boy I couldn't keep any room clean for long. I still can't really. He loves to bring his things into the lounge to play with while the tv is on, including his artsy crafty things. I would say it stays clean while he is at school, but as soon as he gets home, it's messy again. We clean up together but it's more of a rush job and never like it was before he got home LOL Good on those who keep their house spotless. You have three kids under the age of 5 so totally understand when you can't do the chores. Besides the kids are priority over the house cleaning.

Homemaking is a real job, stacyv. You might not be aware of it but studies have shown that if a homemaker's jobs were broken down individually they would be earning a hefty sum of money for all the work they do. As for being respected by your peers, I would not care to have the respect of anyone who looked down upon me simply because I chose to stay at home and take care of my family.

My goodness you do have your hands full. I have a young child too and yes, it's hard to keep the house cleaned up after her. Especially, when she throws everything out on the floor five minutes after it was put up. I do understand the stress that moms face. Don't worry about what other so-called friends say to your face or behind your back. You're doing a good job for your children. And, that is all that is important. Unlike those other people, you can take pride in your children and family and know that you're doing the best for them. Being a stay at home mom is not about being a maid. It's about being a mother. And, sounds like you are a terrific mother. Your kids are very lucky!

I agree it is a constant struggle to keep the house clean with kids especially if you have more than one. Things never fail to be challenging, you just get done washing the floors that night one of the kids will spill their milk. You just finish washing all the towels, and the toilet leaks all over the floor big time. You just finish all the dishes and your husband brings down several cups he has forgot to bring to the kitchen from his office. It is always a challenge. I bet those women who keep the spotless house don't cook. They probably also don't let their kids have any fun.

Its definitely not easy and I know because my mom is a stay at home mom. She works hard to keep everything clean and cook and all that other stuff but of course she can't have everything perfect. I think it all depends on the individual. Some people are just able to get it done and thats only because thats how they are. They can't rest until their house is perfect with everything just how they want it, and everything else just has to wait. I also understand the respect thing. My mom always used to wonder whether she should get a job and what with the situation of the economy sometimes you need both parents to work. But for now, I'd say she's happy with where she is because when your kids do grow up and all the effort you put into them really shows you can be proud of yourself. I try everyday to remind my mom that she did a great job and that I appreciate her for everything she gave me.