How do you handle SPAMMERS and SCAMMERS?

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I used to merely delete spam and scam eMails, but one day I got bored, and thought...heck I am not obligated to be polite, and I refuse to click "unsubscribe" to something I never SUBSCRIBED to in the first place. I save my spam in a spamfile. When I have a lot of it, I use a program I made to send a copy of each piece of spam to EVERY one of the spammers. They get their own spam, plus hundreds of additional spam. I am off their list pronto! I deal with scammers differently. If they are spoofing a bank site attempting to solicit account information on the pretense of "Homeland Security" or "Bank Regulations" I open a window to the real bank, connect to their security and fraud division, and let them know. If I can back trace the server, URL and location of the I.P.A. I let them, and the local authorities know. If it a Nigerian Money scam letter...I tell them "What a co-incidence, Mr. (whatever) You have a rellative who died in an accident, and left YOU exactly the same amount of money you wish to send me. How about if I keep yours and you keep mine, and we avoid all the costs? If it is the "Foreign Payments Processing" scam I tell them thank you, but I do not care to have forged and stolen securities in my bank account. As a Federal Law Enforcement Officer, our accounts are audited, and it would be embarassing to be receiving stolen money. You will never hear from them again! Recently I got a spam offering to "rent" me a boiler, for my business! I responded: Gentlemen, thank yo for your kind offer. I have considered it for hours, and whereas I am a Disk Jockey in a nightclub, I cannot think of even one use I would have for a boiler. If I ever find myself in need of one during a show, I will be sure to contact you. Sometimes it is more fun to be creative and sarcastic than to just delete it! Note to the unsophisticated!!!!!....unless you know how to run an anti-viral, anti-trojan, anti-spyware program to inspect the eMail before opening it, then DO NOT DO THE ABOVE! Trojans in eMail can steal all your keystrokes, including secure site bank transactions etc. If you do not know how to chack it prior to opening...just delete it!