Sad News Today ~ A Client Passes

United States
May 5, 2008 6:24pm CST
I heard sad news today that my client that recently went on Hospice passed away on Friday night. On Tuesday when I went to see her for our scheduled time she was having problems breathing. She had called her doctor earlier that day and was waiting for her to call back. She said her breathing was seemingly more difficult than it had been before she was released from the hospital. She had a visit that weekend from her daughter and one of her grandchildren. This was a visit that she really enjoyed. Her voice was filled with joy as she spoke of the time they spent together. I was delighted that she was able to spend time with her loved ones. She spoke to me of what she was planning to do this summer and next year. I felt a pang as I thought about this. Was this her Swan Song? The two hours flew by. I even spent a little extra time with her too. She needed some medication and I told her that I would go pick it up for her. When she called the doctor's office they said she hadn't yet called in the prescription. She told me that she appreciated the fact that I offered to pick up the meds for her but it would still be another hour before they would be ready. So, I got my things together as we chatted for a few more minutes. She thanked me for my help and wished me a wonderful weekend. She also bid my husband well on his surgery. As I was leaving I told her that I expected her to be home next week, no more episodes would be allowed. She smiled and said "God willing and the creek doesn't rise." I smiled back at her bid her goodbye as I left the house. Today I started my day out as usual. My Monday schedule never changes. But, today I thought that perhaps I should call, just in case. In my haste, I forgot to call and headed for my first client's house. My first client has a volunteer that comes to her house to take care of errands and other things that my agency cannot do for her. This volunteer and I share a common interest. My lady that I care for on Tuesdays is a friend of hers. I know this because my lady often spoke of this woman and she knew I was her homemaker. The woman asked me if I had heard of "A", and I thought it was about her recent hospitalization. I said what of her? She said she went into the hospital last week and died on Friday. I felt like the wind was knocked out of me. I didn't know what to say. I cried. The woman apologized. I told her not to worry, it was the price to be paid for working in healthcare. I know that I shouldn't let this bother me so much. They tell you not to get too close to those you care for. But, how can you not connect with these people? I am saddened by "A's" passing. She was a wonderful woman full of wisdom and joy. I was blessed to have known her, even though it was for only a short time.
7 people like this
14 responses
• United States
6 May 08
Your job is one that will have many of these downfall moments. Hopefully the joy you bring to your clients on a daily basis will help compensate the pain of loss you will get!
4 people like this
• United States
6 May 08
Thank you. I know that this will be one of many losses. It just hits you hard at times.
2 people like this
@tyc415 (5706)
• United States
6 May 08
I so admire you and others like you who do this type of work. There is no way I could even think of it as I would get too attached to everyone. People like you make is much easier on those who are suffering and for the families. May your client "friend" rest in peace.
3 people like this
• United States
6 May 08
Thank you tyc. It makes me feel good to know that I have helped someone.
2 people like this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
6 May 08
That is very sad. I don't see how you can work with people on a daily basis and not get a little close to them. I know that I cannot. She sounded like a very sweet and nice lady.
2 people like this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
6 May 08
I am so sorry, yes it is hard to not get involved, but can you imagine a doctor if he was completely useless after he lots a patient given that in his profession in a hospital he loses them all the time, they say don;t get involved to protect the health care giver from depression and burnout. But I know it is really, really hard, and I heard because it never happened to me, I heard that the first one to lose is always the hardest.
2 people like this
@Fishmomma (11377)
• United States
6 May 08
I'm very sorry that she passed away. Its hard not to be affected by her loss. We all know people that really become special in our lives that its so hard when they are no longer there to talk and share information.
@KarenO52 (2950)
• United States
6 May 08
That is such sad news. It must have been a shock for you, and very hard. It hurts especially when it's a person who loves life, and is planning for the future, no matter how sick they are. She was lucky to have you helping her, and to have family to spend time with her.
2 people like this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
6 May 08
Hey - I am back =) I am so sorry to hear this and even if you are not supposed to let it get to you it is hard not to. This is a person you knew and it is always gonna affect you somehow - wether you like it or not =) Hope all is well with you - I will check up o your discussions later!
1 person likes this
@linda345 (2661)
• Canada
6 May 08
I am sorry to hear of your loss. I can tell from this and a previous discussion you had a close relationship with this client. I think it takes a special person do do what you do. I don't think it is possible to not get to close to these people you are working with.
2 people like this
@someonesmom (5761)
• Canada
6 May 08
I really admire you for doing this type of work. It's certainly not for everyone. I can tell that you're a very caring, compassionate person, and that's special. Just keep doing what you're doing, in the way that you do it. I am sorry to hear of this lady's passing, but am happy that she got to spend that time with you, and her family beforehand. I've been babysitting a little girl since she was 8 months old. She's now 7, and I provide after school care for her. Someone I know, once told me that I shouldn't become personally attached to her, but should keep things professional. First of all, that's not possible for me, and besides, her mom was counting on me to be there, and provide loving care in her absence. She's become more like a grand daughter to me, after all of these years. Take care.
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
6 May 08
Thank god for people like you on my friends list. I read this with tears in my eyes and I thank God every day for people like you that know the real meaning of compassion. It's not always important or the best to display too much sympathy, however it takes a good caring person to be able to apply compassion for others and you definately fill the bill. Thank You
2 people like this
@whittby (3072)
• United States
6 May 08
It is the price you pay for being in healthcare I guess. I was a caregiver for the elderly in their homes, and also at an assisted living in my last jobs. You get close. It sounds like she really enjoyed the time she spent with you. I was always amazed at the incredible attitudes my clients had.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
6 May 08
I am so sorry for your loss....I think that expecting you not to get too close is like asking a frog not to go into the water! You are there to take care of them..and since this is the profession you have chosen it's because you are a caring person in the first place. She was very lucky to have you helping her! And once again....I am sorry for your loss!
2 people like this
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
7 May 08
I cry, too, because I will miss someone when they have gone. I think it's not possible to care for someone and not care about them. We'd be robots if we could do that. I'm sorry for your loss.
• United States
7 May 08
I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of the lady you were careing for. It's not easy when we have to hear things like this. I remember going to a nursing home to visit this one lady she was sweet as ever. I would go once a week. We would talk,play cards,she would show me pictures her grandkids made for her. I remember one day I was bored at home nothing to do and decieded to go see this lady and when I got there I went to her room and she wasn't there. I walked down to the nurses desk and ask where she was and when she would be comeing back. The nurse said "you didn't hear?" I said "hear what?" The nurse said she passed away yesterday" My heart felt heavy and I was saddend for this lady and I shared some nice times together. I walked home and sat in my room crying for I never really understood why things have to be taken away that we care so much about. It's a part of life I guess we can't help but get close.
1 person likes this