confused

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hi guys how u doing its been a loooong time since i wrote, am going to tell u a story i dont know what to do..shortly i was love some guy crazy a bout him we almost 3 years now but he lives far away from me i know this is crazy but we really do love each other...we broke up for a while....in this time i was so desperate and i mean real desperate i knew some guy from the chat and start talking he was interested in me and we start talk like every day he knows every thing a bout me and he was always beside me when i cry, always calling me, and i start feel a little something a bout this guy but i wasnt so sure.....one day he call me and he was very happy i felt and he told me that he was just looking to my pics and he felt he wonna talk wz me told me a nice things and i start to feel something wrong like am cheating on my boy friend so i wrote a msg for him told him that we cant talk any more becoz am going to get back to my boy and i love him and we cant talk becoz i cant talk to u like just a friend i know all this sound like bad i really felt so bad i did every thing to make him feel better but it was finished for him when i back a gain wz my guy first i was happy and i felt he change to better and was missing me i wasnt expected but now i feel like am thinking of the other guy i miss him he was always caring a bout me when the other didnt he was going to come to my place coz we far too to see me and see my family and simply i wounded him i but am really feel like am thinking of him maybe i loved him i dont know and i dont know why i back to my boy my be becoz he refuse to talk to me a gain and i felt lonley.....he even dont wonna speak to me any more am confused i dont know what to do one more thing my boy he is really cute and handsome guy like luis vigo the other guy he good too but not like my boy but i configure its not always has to be handsome so what should i do....am confused