what do u think is easier, forgiving or forgetting?
By sharay
@sharay (2769)
India
8 responses
@kaysue4 (951)
• United States
6 May 08
It is much easier to forgive than forget. If it was something really awful, it is SO hard to forget. I was s3xually abused for 10 years and it took me about 25 to forgive, but so much harder to forget about what happened.
Then as an adult, my first ex beat me many times and almost killed me in front of oldest son when he was only 3 years old.
So much easier to forgive, the memories stay.
1 person likes this
@kaysue4 (951)
• United States
7 May 08
It was NOT easy. Still today when I hear thier name or I have to see them for some family thing, it brings back the pain. I tried to confront the older one and he told me that he never did anything to me, must be nice to not to remember what you did to hurt someone for 10 years.
@shadow9 (238)
• Romania
6 May 08
none and both:P, you can't forget without forgiving because you still think about what happened and you cant forgive without forgetting because you always think about what happened! you can't have rain without clouds and you can't have clouds without rain, if you think about the bad things you can never forget them and if you don't forgive then you always remember the bad things
1 person likes this
@danzer (2723)
• Philippines
6 May 08
Neither is easy. Both of them are difficult to do especially if you had been hurt so deep and that person doesn't care enough to ask forgiveness. Some may think it's easy but if you are the one affected, it's really difficult. But we need to exercise forgiveness in our lives because it's commanded by God to forgive. And if we keep that bitterness in our hearts, it will just ruin our life. Therefore, forgive and forget!
1 person likes this
@sharay (2769)
• India
7 May 08
very truly said, but they are least bothered about what they have done to me..at leaast if they had known and accepted their mistakes, i wud have surely forgiven them since i love them so much....but no...it had been around 4 or 5 years now, they are very happy in their own world..though i say i forgot..i still have their thoughts once in a while...
@paid2write (5201)
•
6 May 08
I will always forgive. I don't like to feel bitterness. Forgetting is not possible but I can try to remember the good times and the good things people have done rather than focus on the bad things in life.
I have not always felt forgiving and it has taken a long time for me to forgive some people but it is worth it in the end if you can do it.
1 person likes this
@dragonfly242 (1060)
• Bahamas
6 May 08
Hi sharay.
For me it's easier to forgive than to forget, althogh they are both hard to do.
By forgiving i remove the bitterness from my heart. and even though it hurts to remember, pain gets duller with time. But bitterness consumes and destroys any chance we have at living life to it's fullest. So while i dont easily forget, for my peace of mind i forgive.
@dragonfly242 (1060)
• Bahamas
7 May 08
The peace i talk about is not based on whether the person that hurt you ask for forgivness or not.
It's the peace that can only come from knowing that you and only you control the outcome of your life. When we allow the negativity that is forced upon us to rule everything that makes us who we are, we allow those that hurt us to have to much power, and the ability to keep victimizing us over and over again from a mental stand point.I have been hurt terribly and was bitter for a long time and i came to realize that because of this hurt i was not living just exsisting and i refused to let someone else destroy my life.This took counseling and alot of prayers but i overcame.
@renee0909 (152)
• China
6 May 08
I think I will forgive such things and people, because if forgiving cannot be done, I can never forget it.
So, forgive first, and forget next.
However, whether I will keep in touch with the one that has broken my heart is really a matter of question. At least, the relationship would never as good as before, I guess.
1 person likes this
@My2Cents (291)
• Canada
9 May 08
Forgiving is easier I believe - because I am not sure one can forget if they have not first forgiven. It is hard to forgive in some circumstances...but for me, holding on to bitterness and forgiveness hurts me more than the person I a am unable to forgive. Once I work past that, and extend forgiveness, either to their person or in my heart, I can begin to heal a hopefully one day forget.
Hope that helps.
@jillbeth (2705)
• United States
6 May 08
I think we should forgive but not necessarily forget. The Bible tells us we should forgive others as our Father has forgiven us. Carrying around unforgiveness only hurts us, not the person who hurt us. But we shouldn't forget, we need to learn from the experience so we don't allow that person to harm us in the same way again.
