Why don't men consider being a full time mother a job.

Let me tell you, I don't know where they get off thinking that way, because if you even left the kids with him for 2 hours he would pull his hair out. I have to tell you that I have a 20 month old son, which to me is a full time job then I also work 45 hours a week. He still tells me I don't have a real job, because he assembles airplanes and I am an office assistant on the phone most of the day. I try to tell him that I leave the house and get stressed at work just like he does, but he still doesn't see it, he is very thick headed so I do sympathize with you.

I think men who stay home with their kids and let the mom work think that it's a full time job. There are some men out there that are stay-at-home dads and, surprisingly, they get a lot of odd looks and negative social pressure for doing it. Maybe there would be more men that stayed home with the kids if there wasn't such a strong social stigma attached to the idea.

This is one of those issues that infuriates me. Being a mother is more than a full time job. You never get a day off from it. You don't get weekends off. You are on duty 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 4 weeks a month, 28, 30 or 31 days a month, 12 months a year, 365 days a year, including holidays. And, you don't get paid for it to boot. You don't get to call in sick, you just have to muddle through. You can't hand off your motherly responsibilities to someone lower down the food chain. You are the only person in your company...a company of one. You are the Founder, President, Vice President, CEO, Manager, Senior Sales Rep, Administrative Assistant, and Janitor all rolled into one, and everything in-between. But, you don't get any of the glory or the credit for single handedly running what would be a multi-billion dollar company. Instead you get told that you don't do enough and are expected to do more. So, motherhood is more than a full time job without all of the benefits of overtime, vacation, sick leave, bonuses and salary. I don't know why men can't see it and, until they have to spend more than a day in a stay at home mom's shoes, they never will. They just don't get it. They think that the diapers change themselves. Spoons just glide into mouths with food that prepared itself. Laundry washed, dried, folded itself and put itself away. Every thing picked itself up and put itself away. Dust dusted itself. Dishes cleaned, dried and put themselves away. The groceries picked themselves out, paid for themselves, drove themselves to your house and put themselves away. The floors vacuumed and mopped or swept themselves. Bathrooms were cleaned and sanitized all on their own. Beds were made. And children played with, nurtured, took their own naps, fed and taught themselves. If only!

Have you asked them what they think you do? What does your ex-husband think of you now? I think you need to find a real man, who understands the world we live in. You need a man who understands you are a mother, a care giver, someone whose job is to raise other people. It seems to me, a lot of men are dogs. It's sad, but there are not enough good men out there, to fix the reputation these boys have made.... Just because a male is an adult, does not mean he is a man. A real man, and a real father, understand his duties to his family and wife. And if he doesn't appreciate his wife, then he is not a good man. You sound like you work hard....you don't deserve this.

i hate this attitude that many men have. if you have to go to work then they are not earning enough and doing their jobs, my husband included. and what would they like us to do with the children while we work? half or more of our pay would go for childcare and then we would have to have a stranger raising our children and have to worry about someone harming them because so few people can be trusted with children. my stepbrother's little girl who is 6 has been sexually molested by her stepgrandfather for the past 3 years and she finally got the guts to tell someone. this is a man that she was left with while her mother and grandmother went out running chores or whatever it was they were doing. we are struggling terribly financially and i do what i can to bring in extra income from home like babysitting and surveys and mylot but no one is going to raise my son just so i can appease my husband and get a job.

because they don't know how hard it is being a full time mother ,unless they experience it themselves.But once they do, they wouldn't last an hour doing the job of a full time mom.

That is the problem with most Men. Unless a woman is working outside the home, they are Lazy, and need to get a job to be able to help out Financially. Most of them even if you are making money online doing things such as Ebay, Internet Business, etc. supporting yourself that way even, they consider you lazy. I ran into it before I met my husband as I was selling at our Local SwapMeet (aka Flea Market), shows, Ebay, etc. and most men thought I would never be anything in my life. My husband though was not like this and very supportive, which I know it is hard to find. I guess for you, it is up to what you are looking for and needing in life that will work the Best for you. All I can say is Best of Luck, and remind yourself, if you are Happy with what you do, that should be the main thing that counts.

Men are raised by mothers. And as mothers we tend teach our girls all about raising children and the jobs of running a house more than we do the boys. We may give the boys chores but do we really teach them to get down and get the detailed cleaning done. We as mothers and wives make it look so easy. Take a vacation from the kids and house for about a week and these same men will be calling mom to come help them out then blame you for not having it all done when they leave. Now this isn't all mothers or all men.

Men don't see it because they don't do it. Being a mom and a homemaker is not only a full time job, it's also the hardest job out there. Think about it. Being a stay at home parent, you aren't just a parent. You are a cook, a maid, a taxi, a laundry maid, a counselor, a doctor, a secretary, an accountant, a bill payer, and so many more things. The only difference is, we don't get paid for what we do.

Give him a bill. Literally!!! Call the local day care centers and find out how much they charge an hour, call the resturants in the area and find out how much the cooks make an hour, call the taxi service and find out how much they make per mile, call the housekeeping services and find out how much for them to come in and clean every day. Then at the end of the week add it all up and give him the bill. Explain to him that this is what it would cost for me to do this out of the house and your telling me its not a job? It is its all these jobs - cleaning, cooking, daycare and so on. Best yet its 24 hours a day 7 days a week. NO breaks.

i thik its actually the irony. as it does not pay you nmoney, men take it is granted that mothers are suppose to do so. they don't see how day long mothers take all responsibility.

i think this is a commom phenomenon,i mean,the wife takes care of the home,the children.of course,work outside is not an easy thing,but work in home is also a hard work,i think.in China, taking care of the family is a traditional work for woman whether she works or not.in the past,women's social position were low,they must earn money to support the family,the meanwhile they also took much time and energy to take care of the family.now this situation has been proved.the husband will also share the house work.but as a woman, we do not need puting all the attention to the family,we also have our own business or get closer connection with the society.

Men do not feel that being a full time mother a job because they are not normally in a position to have this responsibility. They do not have to carry nor birth the children; therefore they are oblivious of the pain and connection we have with our little ones. I have been very lucky with my husband and our marriage. Now working on ten years and two children later we are looking to take in three neices. So in all we will have five children under the age of ten years old. He still feels that being a full time mom and homemaker is not a job but is content to let me have it. Well, considering the cost of daycare would be outrageous. Now let me give you some insight on why he is allowing me this luxory, presay. When we met I was a service member in the U.S. Army of 8 years. In the military I held a position that was well into the mens feild and worked almost twice as hard as he has ever had to. I was a helicopter mechanic and crew member. Since I have managed a pizza parlor, delivered food for Schwan's, worked as a security gaurd and most recently worked for Macy's Department Store. The last I left when our youngest was diagnosed with a bleeding disorder and is still monitered pretty closely; as we do not know if it may reoccur. He now knows that my job is as important as his is and that I am spread pretty thin. In other words men are pretty clueless as to what is work and what is not. It takes an eye opening experience to help them understand just what is and is not a "job". Let go of the mommy reigns and hand over everything for just a few hours. I promise they will be calling to ask you for something within three hours.. should they wear a sweater if playing outside, can I give them cookies for a snack, how do I mix the formula... something will come up they are not prepared to handle.

probably all men are like that. it has to be something to do with their ego. or maybe it's in the gene, chromosome or whatever you want to call it. full time mom is a job if you really take care of the house: do the cleaning, cooking, taking care of your children (especially babies!) practically everything. if it's not a job why is being a maid is considered as a job? and so does baby sitting? maybe being a mom should be considered as a super job. haha if men's ego says being a mom is not a job, wait till they have to do it themselves. i think househusbands know this very well :) leave a guy to do the house chores for a whole day will probably leave him crying (but the ego won't let them. lol) you should be proud of it. take care of your home and kids well. just because you don't make money doing it doesn't mean you don't help saving any :) kudos to you for being a full time mom despite the challenges (most notably financially coz you don't bring a fat paycheck home by doing house chores and that is probably why men don't appreciate full time moms)

They don't think its a job as they have never done it. THey don't think tending to children is an issue as they have never done it 100%. They have not cleaned the house top to bottom so they don't know the work it is. Do they try to learn and experience so as to make a qualified decision? Of course not. They couldn't do it! They'd never make it past Tuesday!

I don't have any great insight to add as far as what in the world these men are thinking, but I know what you mean. My husband asked me if I thought it was fair that he worked all day and I got to sit around the house and do basically nothing. His mom even told me she doesn't know how I do it all the time after the kids spent the night with her last weekend -- my husband just rolled his eyes at her. He doesn't even believe his own mom!