Are you happier staying "out of the loop" ...
By maddysmommy
@maddysmommy (16230)
United States
May 7, 2008 12:22am CST
or must you know almost everything that's going on?
Depending on what the issues are and who they concern, I prefer to know almost everything that is going on with my family and extended as well as close friends than being out of the loop. When we got together with my inlaws and family over our recent holiday in Rarotonga, I couldn't believe how much "out of the loop" we were with the going's on in their family. My husband was actually dissapointed that a lot of the things shared during that time was not told to him earlier. I can understand that they didn't want him to worry about them being so far away and all, but still, if my family especially immediate were going through certain issues, wouldn't you want to know? I know I would.
It's hard when your miles away from your immediate family and we often tend to be forgotten when it comes to important issues. Like one other time, I called my sister one day and she was on her way to my Aunty's funeral - my Dad's sisters funeral and I didn't even know about it.
I know when it comes to gossip and celebrity stuff I would rather be out of the loop, but when it comes to family, I would rather know even if there was nothing I could do about it..... how about you?
3 people like this
12 responses
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
7 May 08
Sometimes i think people judge us and decide whats best for us without giving us a reason to defend our choices...i know that when My Father was sick in California and i live in Texas..they didn't want to tell me how sick he was..when i found out just how bad i got tickets to leave and then was told enroute he passed..this has been a thing that has come between my siblings and me..i would have liked to said my goodbyes and feel they took that from me.
3 people like this
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
7 May 08
That's understandable Rozie. I just feel kind of left out when we don't know what's going on in our immediate family especially with our own parents and siblings you know? I don't know, maybe because we live so far away from them all I suppose. It's just a shocker when you hear it for the first time and yet it's been known for quite a while.
3 people like this
@TerryZ (22076)
• United States
7 May 08
When it comes to family I want to know whats going on too. I dont live real close to my family so sometimes Im not included in the loop. I only live about 1/2 hour away from family but they all live in the next town over. So when I dont hear about something I do get upset.
2 people like this
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
8 May 08
I live in another continent so I know we don't get told everything that happens with our immediate family members. It's hard when we are so far away from them and I can understand that maybe they don't want to bother us or something, but still family is family, and I would rather know - it doesn't have to be in detail either, but it would be nice to know. Thanks Terry!
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
7 May 08
That's how I feel also cupid, sharing what's going on within our own families.
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
7 May 08
I am the same as you, with family I would rather know first hand if there are any problems or illnesses going on. I get annoyed with my hubbys family as we always seem to find out things that are going on with them, through rumours at my sons school.
I could not care less about mindless gossip or anything, I would rather not know and I always tell people if they start gossiping to me and trying to tell me things, I just tell them that I am not interested.
2 people like this
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
8 May 08
I don't like getting second hand information about family either as most of the time it's not right. I prefer to hear it from them when it happens too.
1 person likes this
@Deea48 (1166)
• United States
8 May 08
I use to need to know all the big issues in the family. But over the years I have become a outta the loop person. I just decided I did not need to know every thing about every body. To much drama for me, and most times I would end up disappointed or hurt if I tried to help or intervene. So now I will ask if I want any info. But truthfully do not go out of my way to find out whats what. 
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
8 May 08
I can understand that Deea. When it comes to drama and unimportant issues then I stay out of the loop also. It's the health issues and sorts that I would rather be told about sooner rather than later.
1 person likes this
@xParanoiax (6987)
• United States
8 May 08
It depends what on. I could care less about celebrity stuff, and I try to keep up on the most important things with friends...since to me, they're my true family.
As for the news, world's events, advances and discovery's in science...I'm happier not having a clue, but I have this compulsion to KNOW what's going on lol, it's weird.
1 person likes this
@wooitsmolly (3613)
• United States
7 May 08
While I think I want to know everything it usually turns out I don't! I can be pretty nosy sometimes and I don't like that about myself so I am trying to cut it out. I think I need to worry about myself more than anyone else and not poke my nose in business that doesn't concern me. When it comes to my family, they will tell me the important things (especially my mom! She can't keep anything to herself!)
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
7 May 08
I moved 1600 miles from where my parents, sister, and youngest daughter live, so yes I like being kept up to date on what is going on and if anything is wrong, medically or otherwise, since my parents are both in their 70's. Howecer, it has never really been a problem, we all talk several times a week, and let each other know what is going on and if things are going okay. I have learned to call my mom first, like when I injured my wrist at work a couple of weeks ago, I called her but didn't get an answer, so I called my sister, when I did get a hold of my mom, my sister had already called and told her lol, so when my mom said how is your wrist, I said oh 'ya talked to big mouth huh?' and we both laughed. However, when it comes to my s/o's youngest sister, I'll volunteer to stay out of the loop lol, she has always got some kinda drama going on, and for whatever reason thinks her big brother will fix it, he also tries to stay out of that loop lol
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
8 May 08
I can understand that, if you had someone in the family that always had issues or created a lot of drama, then I would probably not want to be in the loop either, or just hear about it later on.
But when it comes to health issues I would rather know sooner rather than later. I'm glad you get to talk with your family several times a week. I'm lucky if I get one response from either of my siblings - my mum texts me more than they ever do.
@Andrewest (6)
• United States
8 May 08
Sometimes, I would love to be in the loop. As for my family sometimes being in the loop can be an invitation for others to dump there problems off on you and expect you to solve them. So I pray to God that I may do his will for me. And sometimes that means stayed looped out. You do have a point there. I would like to know what's really going though. This is a good topic.
Andre
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
8 May 08
I agree with you Andrewest. Issues that are unrelated and cause lots of drama within the family are issues that I would rather not know about or kept out of the loop, but when it comes to health issues and important family issues, I would rather be told when it happens rather than after the fact. Thanks for your response and welcome to Mylot.
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
8 May 08
I can understand that too, because with family, there's always drama LOL
@mikeysmom (2088)
• United States
7 May 08
i like to be in the loop when it comes to family. i feel like i would seem to be disinterested if i were not. i have a brother who does not care to be in the loop and it is perceived that he is not in the loop because he really does not care to be. yet when he finds out about something he says "oh, nobody told me". oh well, maybe he should try to keep in touch with his family then. show a little interest and then maybe we would include him in things. just my opinion.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
8 May 08
I agree with your opinion, because if you don't pay enough attention or take interest in your family and what they're up to, then why should they pay any attention to you - so I agree with what you're saying.
I make an effort everyday to keep in touch with my twin sister and my three brothers, and text and call my mother often - well she actually texts me more than I do her. I even send emails to my extended family but none seem to be too interested in hearing from me - maybe they are too busy. I just send it anyway to let them know I'm still here even though I live on the other side of the world.
Thanks for your response mikeysmom.
