what kind of parent are you?

Ebsharer, Great points. I totally agree, besides what I wrote that is how I parented. You just put it much better...Great job. Aingealicia

hello ebsharer, thank you so much for your post, it sure is a wonderful thing to read and know. congratulations for having such wonderful parenting personality there, same goes with your husband. yes, i understand what you mean by being consistent i have learned that well to our dog LOL and it sure is a good way to train ourselves on how to be a good parent in the future. i am happy to know that you do know that you are a good parent and a great example to your kid, though she is pretty young to fully understand so many stuff at least you know that you can deal with her the best way you know how. your words makes me more excited to have my own someday. i love to learn and i love kids and having them both will be so awesome. thank you for teaching me and for reminding me what a good parent should be and btw, i like your great grandma's words it speaks for itself. takecare and have a good one!

hello neildc, thanks for coming here, im a bit confuse though so please help me understand your wordings here. did you mean that [b]a parent is depriving their kid's happiness if the kid dont get what they want? a parent should give in what the kid's want?[/b] or you mean the other way around. i asked this coz if i am a parent i have seen this causing personal and behavior problems to the NOW as well as the future. i am not saying that a parent who does this thing is wrong coz i assume they know what they are doing. BUT if i will see this happening to me then i will consider it wrong. i said it is wrong coz i have seen my family and relatives doing the same stuff and i see how the kids grow up without respect to anybody but themselves. they always get what they want so they cry so loud that it affects other's privacy and or even end up hurting someone in the process. i honestly feel that a parent should know when to give in and when not. a kid will always want almost everything and anything and it will be crazy if you let them be this way. my brother is the same and he is a mess right now same as my husband's brother. both of them grow up having the same lifestyle and treatment. they get whatever they want and whine till they get it. my parents and his parents always see our brothers as the baby and should always get everything and they always need constant attention and love. which is not healthy for the other kids. it will be ok if the kid is like me or my husband who matured early in the process but not all kids will be like me and may resort to some kind of rebellion and may end up ruining his/her life just because the other sibling is getting more attention than him (i think that is where "favoritism" falls) anyway, i hope to hear from you again so i can fully understand what you mean by your post. it sounds to be vague to me as i dont know if my understanding is right or wrong and you can help me clear that out. thanks a lot for your time. takecare!

hello magikrose, thanks for sharing your experiences. you know i like your ways, my husband and i talks about such ways of correcting our child's behavior coz we feel it is best than letting them whine or hurting them like other parents do when they are trying to correct their child. it's great to know that you planned the next step to correct your child, some parents i know if their correction dont work they just let the kid have what they want and i honestly feel that is not helping the child at all. anyway, is your way working? how does your kids behave when they are in the "correction" process. sorry to ask, i just want to know how other kids behave if parents do that. thank you so much and i sure admire your ways being a parent. takecare!

hello heart143, great to hear from you again. it is fun to know that you are the authoritarian figure in the house and daddy is the angel one, i guess that is just common to a dad LOL. it is great that you set a limit to you child and let her know the value of everything. it is a good lesson for her to learn in such an early age and i honestly feel that a child should learn values and lesson even as a baby coz it will help them to be independent and be more responsible than those that is being babied for a long time. not all parents make sure that their child will be a good citizen and an asset to the society, good point there anyway, i agree that balance is important. they are only a kid once and they aught to enjoy it like we did ours takecare and thanks for being here.

hello longbangod, great to hear a dad's side here LOL now i am more scared of how our future kid will treat me and my husband he is both and i have a feeling that he will be more of the hero to the kid's eye and i will be the monster. though he says many times that it will be vice versa. my sister is almost like my daughter coz she grows more on my supervision than my mom coz she is always busy working being a single mom. just thinking what i am back then makes me feel that i can be a very tough one and my sister really knows that. though she grows up a wonderful lady now and respect me so much coz she loves me and NOT because she is afraid of me. thinking of that now, makes me wonder what i will be then (thanks to you LOL) i have always dream to be a parent so i am really excited i am happy that my husband and i will be ONE when it comes to decision making coz we dont want our kid to be confused (i hope that will happen, haha) anyway, thanks a lot for sharing your experience it sure nice to hear a father's side of the story. takecare

hello phoenix25, i cant help but smile when i read the part of mother-in-law, most of my aunts see their in-laws as the wrong one and they are the right one and i honestly feel it is wrong. it is really sad coz they dont seem to understand that they are not the parent and they should just let the parent handle the situation UNLESS of course of the parent is endangering or neglecting the child. anyway, i think you are doing the right thing for your kid i assume he is still in a toddler phase as you mention he is just learning colors and shapes. yes, a parent needs to know their child's personality and then make the necessary actions based from that. though i dont agree of spanking a kid coz in my experienced it only makes it as a temporary correction and sometimes the kids do things you want because they are afraid to be hit not because they love and respect you. BUT that is your way and whatever works for you should always be honored and respect by everyone. btw, i have a niece who is the same not wanting to let go of the "babyhood" and she is a "monster" in the making. NO i am not saying your kid will be like that i am just sharing it to you. i said that my niece is a monster coz she do harm (physically and emotionally) all her past nanny and dont even have respect to anybody even her own parents. she knows how to manipulate them at the age of 4. i told my mom they shouldnt let her behave that way coz it will be worst when she gets older BUT all my relatives says she is still a BABY so my niece see herself as one coz she keeps hearing such term. anyway, i think you are different than my cousin coz that kid never get punished for whatever she did and always have what she wants even if she is making her nanny cry and some of my cousin cry, strange way of parenting to me but they think they are doing the right thing, oh well! thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences it sure helps me understand parenting and differences and space. takecare!

I don't think many women are that enamored with their mother-in-laws. What is it about mother-in-laws? I don't know. I really don't like to spank my son often. I will do it occasionally if he is being absolutely terrible, but I like to try other things first before I resort to that. I never hurt him. You could literally tap him on his thigh like you were patting him and he would cry because he knows he did something wrong and hates to be told that his behavior was bad. I did have to spank him more often for a while when he was unusually disobedient and was constantly doing things he knew he shouldn't do. It worked, though, now he has gotten a lot better and I don't ever really have to spank him. It works in phases, I guess. Yes, my son is a toddler. He is 4. He is not a monster, and no I didn't think you were implying that. :) He is very well-behaved and likes to do things on his own. He doesn't like me to fuss over him too much. He gets very frustrated if I try to cuddle or groom him too much for his liking. So, I give him his space when he lets me know that he wants it. Other times, he is very sweet and affectionate. We tell each other we love each other all the time and he likes to give kisses and hugs. He's a very sweet boy and I couldn't be happier to have a son like him. As for him hanging on to "babyhood", he just does not want to let go of diapers to use the potty on a regular basis. I am trying, but I think I will have to take the diapers away and let him have some accidents in the house if he doesn't come around soon. We recently bought him a twin size bed to replace his toddler bed. He was getting so tall that I knew he would outgrow the toddler bed soon and I thought that maybe he would get the idea that he is growing up and maybe he would start coming around with the potty training as a result. He hung onto the toddler bed for a while. I kept it next to his big bed and sometimes he would just want it out on the floor even though he didn't sleep on it. It was almost like training a pet to use a litterbox lol. Eventually I removed the toddler bed completely and I am happy to say that he now sleeps in his "big" bed every night, so that is one milestone out of the way. Thanks for your responses.

thanks for coming back and explaining your side, that is very vivid indeed LOL. i cant believe that i guess your son's age (in my head not in writing) so that is cool, haha. i cant help but smile when you said it is same as training your pet to his litter box haha. im sure your son will learn that over time like you said you just have to make him have an accident one time and hope he gets the lesson. it is amazing how he wants to have his own space at that age, i have seen other kids who is more dependent to mom at that age and i honestly dont like my future kid to behave in such a way coz i want him to be independent as early as possible but still needs me and his dad from time to time LOL. anyway, appreciate your responses, it is great to hear a mother's story about their kid as they grow up and walk to the journey of parenting. takecare and good night!