Seriously, Why Can't We All Just Get Along...
By anniepa
@anniepa (27955)
United States
May 7, 2008 11:57pm CST
...or agree to disagree or decide if we can't say something nice we won't say anything at all, even if that means avoiding posts where we know we may not be able to control our "temper"? I debated with myself over which interest to put this discussion in and finally settled on this one although what I want to discuss deals sometimes with political discussions, sometimes religious ones, often with those involving both - I KNOW, a deadly combination at times - but since it's about myLot discussions I decided to put it in the myLot interest.
I have several very dear friends here on myLot with whom I have varying degrees of disagreement on some of the more controversial subjects, but we still like and respect each other very much and are able to state our opinions to each other without getting angry or having our feelings hurt. However I notice every day here how sometimes discussions become heated arguments complete with name-calling and insults and sometimes escalating into giving out negative star ratings and even reporting posts. Sometimes some of us resort to doing silly, immature things like pointing out spelling or grammatical errors; this is something I'm not proud to admit to having done and I apologized to some members for that and if I've overlooked any or if anyone hasn't seen my apology I'd like to do it again. There are members here who aren't on my friends list and with whom I've been known to have disagreements in political discussions but I've also participated in other discussions in other interests with them and found that we have a lot of common ground and that there's no reason we can't get along just fine just because we have different, or sometimes polar opposite political views. The point I'm trying to make is we all have our own opinions and some of us feel very passionately about different things for our own, sometimes very personal, reasons but that shouldn't mean we dislike each other or treat each other with anything other than respect or that we can't leave that particular topic and "meet again" somewhere else and forget about the disagreement. MyLot is this wonderful place where we can all come and discuss everything and anything with people from all over the world. We can all learn a little something from each other, don't you agree? So, once again - do you think we CAN just all get along?
Annie
9 people like this
18 responses
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
8 May 08
I agree with you 100% on this Annie. Lately I have been using Mylot discussions as a way to learn to better communicate with people. Instead of try to prove that they are wrong and I am right, I have been stating my opinion in a way that won't offend anyone. For instance, I was all pumped up about something I posted earlier and someone responded by saying letting me know that they had viewed the same thing that I had viewed and were not at all impressed as I was.
Instead of getting an attitude, I simply stated that I was sorry this person was disappointed and that was that. This is just another great bonus for being on Mylot. We can learn how to communicate and get along with others better. Excellent discussion.
3 people like this
@anniepa (27955)
• United States
9 May 08
Thanks for a great response, Rozie, and I also agree with you. MyLot is a great place to learn to communicate better and to get along with othersbetter even if we disagree now and then. You were right in how you dealt with the person who didn't feel as impressed as you did by something. The fact is, we all have things that excite us and impress us and they're not going to be the same for everyone but that doesn't mean anybody's "wrong" for liking something someone else doesn't or vice versa. MyLot is a great place to learn to respect each other's individuality.
Annie
1 person likes this
@siongchee (66)
• Singapore
8 May 08
well this always happens even in your daily life. i can't really say whether to agree or to disagree as each individual is growing everyday and learning as we grow. for me i feel that we should be able to take in criticisms or other peopls' suggestions in order for us to be able to reach greater heights. however, humans are never perfect. at times we tends to get worked up and actually shoot unpleasant remarks at each other due to external factors that add to the problem or the discussion. for me at times when i cannot control my anger i will just put down my work and set off ignoring everything and try to let myself calm down before coming back. reason being that there is no point in continuing the task that you are on when you are at the peak of your temper. it will only make things worst and getting more people involve and more people get fed up and more people gets angry.
i would say that it depends on how each individual see the problem or the discussion.
3 people like this
@skinnychick (6905)
• United States
9 May 08
The thing that some people fail to remember is that we CAN learn something from each other even if we don't agree. A good argument or debate is made of 2 sides which can both have intelligent responses. People get mean and nasty when they can't figure out a good argument for their side. Instead of getting nasty maybe they should rethink their position or do a little more research. I like to agree to disagree on issues that I wouldn't budge on.
2 people like this
@anniepa (27955)
• United States
10 May 08
You're so right but to some people there is only one side and that's THEIR side and if someone disagrees with them they're ignorant, stupid, dishonest, a hypocrite or some other insulting name and I just don't go along with that kind of behavior. I don't care how much someone disagrees with me, for many things we discuss here there isn't one "right" and one "wrong" answer anyway but even if someone is absolutely positive they're right that's no reason to call someone names over it. Present your argument in an intelligent and reasonable manner and maybe I'll change my mind or at least budge a bit but call me stupid and you'll only be proving my point some of the time.
Annie
1 person likes this
@Aingealicia (1905)
• United States
8 May 08
Annie,
You make very valid points. As you have stated, I am guilty of the same things, you know this first hand. We have come to an agreement and have seen how passionate we are about life and how life is.
It is amazing how one person can change your thoughts upon things and mind of how you think upon those things. Just as you have done with me. I respected you more for calling me out and pointing things out.
Politics and Religion are always dangerous things. I expect passionate outburst on some of the things I post. When it comes down to it, in the end, we are all just trying to survive.
MyLot has brought a lot of people together and we have met upon a new plane of existence that can be hades or heaven.
Great post. Take care and hope all is ok with your family.
Ainge
2 people like this
@anniepa (27955)
• United States
8 May 08
Ainge, you helped me to see how easily we can be taken the wrong way when we're writing as opposed to talking to someone in person or even on the phone where you can hear each other's voices. Now I try to imagine myself speaking my words as I write them not only as I WANT them to sound but also as someone else may hear them, if that makes any sound. Thanks so much for your kind words and I hope all is well with you and yours also. My nephew sent his parents an e-mail and he said it's 117 degrees in Afghanistan and there are all kinds of bugs and rats where they're staying. I'm sure there are things going on he's NOT talking about, if you know what I mean.
Annie
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
9 May 08
You know what? I ask myself the same question. here on myLot. Especially, when, I post a discussion or reply back to an comment. It is so bad when you just can't please others. I wish for us to talk, laugh and celebrate your circumstances. But there are just mean people whom will not allow you to do this. What makes me mad, is when I ask a question, and my question is labeled as crazy. This makes me upset. No question is too dumb. That is why we all come on myLot, to get the correct answers on how to figure something out. Putting others down is a sign of immaturity. I have no clue as to why this is going on. But what I will tell you, I ignore them, and I don't comment on what dumb thing they have said. I am also curious as to why, someone would even get nasty with you or have beef with you, when they have never even seen you? But stuff like this only makes me be aware that this world and the evil, hatred people in it, are just so mean and hateful! They don't care, nor do they care for others! This is a crying shame!
2 people like this
@anniepa (27955)
• United States
10 May 08
At the risk of repeating myself yet again, if we'd all just follow the Golden Rule we'd all be so much better off. Everyone here should ask themselves, "How would I feel if someone said that to me?" before hitting that submit button.
Annie
1 person likes this
@Gollywog (1092)
•
8 May 08
I feel we are here to become friends, and comment on the discussions that interest us! If mylotters want to argue and become agresive and rude they are on the wrong site? Politics, Religion should not be discussed if people are going to argue. I dont think there are any realy nasty people on mylot as you say they get heated over certain discussions, like giving a - I would only give one if some one was personaly abusive and I would report them and warn my friends. You are a good person you just get over heated some times lol. Keep posting my friend.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
10 May 08
Yes I think we can get along but it will take people who can disagree without demeaning the other person.It will take people who Want to hear other points of view.And when they get a post that disagrees with them, they don't take it personally and they want to discuss why they disagree, then we can get along.Better still we will learn from one another.
2 people like this
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
8 May 08
I sure wish we all could get along here. for the most part, i think we all do get along very well. there a few people here who try to ruin it for us or spoil our moods at times here though. I have met some really nice people here and have made some good friends also. I have only had a problem with a couple of people here so far. they sent me rude private messages and they had just become my friend here too.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
8 May 08
I agree with your views. We should come out with our opinion, wethere we are agreeing with the host of the dicussions or not. But I feel while putting across our views, we should be polite and humble, so as not to offend anyone's sentiments. Whenever I put across my views, I try to be humble and see to it that I use decent language, so as not to hurt of offend anyone. If I find that the topic of the discussions is controversial, I do not go for reply, in that case.
@oldcoger (112)
• United States
8 May 08
I agree that we should all be able to just get along. We should all be able to voice our opinions, without being attacked to the point of fear. I don't comment on politics or religion anymore, because of the attacks that can come from these subjects. I was attacked so badly on another site (EONS), that I became very selective on what I comment on. I just want to voice my opinion on things that matter to me, without being attacked. I respect other peoples opinions and wish they would respect mine the same way.
2 people like this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
8 May 08
I agree with you annie. It is difficult. I just left a discussion that I innocently went into. It was about cashiers and I could feel my blood boiling as I read backwards through the comments after responding. I finally forced myself to just jump off. People are so mean and degrading! I'm a cashier so I could relate to the poor girl they were bashing. Oddly, I escaped to find your discussion staring me in the face. Maybe if everyone could choose kinder words then things would not get so fired up.
2 people like this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
8 May 08
I totally agree Annie! THis happened to me when I started a discussion about a woman who threw her cat in the street because her landlord was charging $50. I received many comments. Mostly people were upset by the actions of the woman. However, there was a comment from someone who clearly wanted to get something started. I tried to ignore, but this person kept submitting new comments and making comments on the ones posted. Admittedly, I did respond, nothing derogatory. As soon as I hit submit button I knew he had won. Eventually it got ridiculous and I decided to view the profile. WHen I did, it was someone who had just begun myLot and was 17 years old. I have had conversations with many people younger than me on myLot and have always had a great time. This one individual could have ruined it for other youngsters that want to be looked at as mature adults with real opinions on real issues. I didnt know I could report him. Now I wouldnt think twice. I treat everyone as I want to be treated. Good day friend. dl
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
8 May 08
Annie I agree we can all have our own viewpoints but can
still respect each other and not resort to name calling
or other more vicious tactics. Discussions are meant to
be discussed but not cussed at . we dont all have the same
ideas on something but that is good as it keeps us
on our toes and gives us fresh viewpoints and sometimes'we evenlearn something that we did not know before.WE can all
be friends but with different viewpoints and we can all
respect each other for our differences.
2 people like this
@cjgrooms (4456)
• United States
12 May 08
I joined this site to have adults to converse with and have back and forth discussions. If i have ever said anything to hurt anyones feelings i apoligise now.There are as many opinions as their are people and i hope that i am not so stubborn that i can't accept that and not get bent out of shape over a difference in the way we see things.Friends do not always have to agree to be friends. And part of what makes friends friends is that you don't get nasty when you disagree.
@cripfemme (7698)
• United States
9 May 08
For the most part, I try to have reasonable dialogues with people I disagree with. I broke this rule one time and feel sorry about it. I wouldn't like it if anyone treated me the way I treated this person, but I think to pretend we have no disagreement is to belittle mylot as a community. Part of the reason we're involved in this is because we can disagree and act like civilized people about it. Too bad we can't do that in the rest of the world. I think that avoiding disagreement entirely is not a good idea. We just need to think before we type (or at least submit). Go ahead, be angry. Just don't push the submit button until you've calmed down a little. That's a lesson I could learn myself.
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
8 May 08
I'm with you on this one. I've noticed that some ppl won't reply to certain discussions b/c they don't want to get attacked...which I think is sad. I reply to whatever I want to reply to and if anyone doesn't like my views, opinions or thoughts on it...oh well. I'm not asking anyone to change their minds on how they feel about it, I'm just voicing how I feel.
I still go by the old adage that it takes two to fight and if I walk away then they won't be able to fight with me :) As for the star...I don't pay much attention to it. I still think MyLot should change it to reflect participation rather than popularity but I just tend to over look it now.
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
1 person likes this
@robert19ph (4577)
• Philippines
8 May 08
That's not possible because we all have our pride. If we can swallow our prides then we can get along with each others. Pride is considered the most serious of the seven deadly sins. It is the ultimate source from which the other sin arises. So if we can be humble in what we do, then we can get along well.
@gwoman2 (710)
• United States
8 May 08
I am fairly new to myLot and I try to adhere to the rules religiously, in order to do this I have printed out the do's and don't's of myLot and always have them handy to check myself out!! :-) On MyLot Guidelines: On the Do's: Rule #1: Please take any warnings you get from myLot staff seriously. Don't's: There are 40. Don't # 31: Don't post to "flame" other users! Being mean to others is just not fun. Anything derogatory that is directed at a myLot user is strictly prohibited. Just be nice and have fun! Rule # 37: Don't start discussions on individual issues you are having with myLot. Please contact myLot via private messages and your issue will be addressed. Rule # 38: Don't post discussions, responses or comments criticizing members for bad/broken English or bad spelling. Everyone is welcome at myLot, we have users from all around the world and they are welcome regardless of their proficiency with the English language. And yes, it would be a perfect world even in cyberspace if we all could get along:-) ~G~
1 person likes this
