Divorce

Reading your post I had to check to see where you were from because I swear my brother could have written this. He's going through a divorce right now and although I will be the first to admit he's no saint he did a lot of the things you did. He took care of the house, the kid, did the cooking, brought flowers at least once a week, and worked. The only thing he didn't do was make that she thought he should, that was her sore spot. She thought he should do all that and bring home at least $50k a year. It's doubtful he'll have to pay her unless it's for child support and with how she keeps behaving she might not get. She has done a lot to make herself look bad in the eyes of the court. There are good women out there just like there are good men. Relationships are never easy but you are right they should be equal and not one sided. I wish you luck in finding the right one for you.

Here's the other side of the story. If I may be frank...and I don't mean to insult anyone - this is just my opinion and what I had to go through... I come from a culture where people don't approve of cohabitation because we believe that there is no such thing as a trial period for a marriage. You either get married and stay together (and work things out) or you don't. Things like house chores and shared responsibilities are part of the package and something that all married couples have to go through - you don't need to cohabit together just to decide on who does what. It all depends on how well you know your partner, what you expect from him/her and how you communicate and come to that expectation. To cohabit would be like...sinning...perpetually. .

It's always difficult to part ways and separate with someone you love and shared your life with. Well, it's time for you to move on now. Marriages and unions really need the efforts of both parties concerned. There should be consensus and enough understanding between the two of you. Kudos and stay happy my friend.

Divorce is a new word for me,because i never think about it,in old days,in my country,the person who divorced was a bad person,he may faces many critics,so many people never tried to think it though he or she lived in a bad relationship.Now,this view changed,divorce is not a unacceptable thing like before,people have the right to look for his happiness.If the marriage is harmful for them,they can say goodbye.But i think divorce is harmed the children,it will influences the children in their life.so be thoughtful and careful,if you get married,please do not say goodbye easily.

Sorry to hear that, but please believe everything gonna be find with the time moves on.There are many many kind of person in the world, so different person different life style, happy or sad all are the parts of real life, wish you luck and just cheer yourself up to enjoy everyday...

Co-habitation has taught me more about people, than any thing else. You don't know if you can live with someone, until you try. I'm sorry you went through, and are going through what you are, (child of divorce and boyfriend going through one) but now you have the opportunity of finding a real woman. As you've described it, the next real woman that finds you, will want to hold on to you..

well buddy i feel sorry about what has happened to you..but the thing is your saying ur wife gets mad after every 2-3 days but is she changed after marriage i mean have u ever noticed these points about her nature before marriage too and have u ever tried to know what she exactly wants...i'm not saying ur wrong but only earning and doing all the work is not the only thing in a married life..there's lot more... :)

Oh I am so sorry to hear you are going through this kind of situation. I would have wanted someone like you in exchange of my husband..he doesn't do those for me.But we are still together for whatever reason I can't leave him I can't understand it myself. I know it seems unfair for you to get this kind of thing in your life but I guess that is how the law acts on it. And we just have to follow it without no objections which I really know is unfair. It's ok to open up yourself with this kind of discussion. You are just stating your feeling and I do well understand. Take care and hope you get through all of whats happening in your life right now.

Divorce is never fun. When I went through with mine, I didn't ask for an alimony payment from my ex-husband. We didn't have kids, which made things easier. Do your best to contest alimony payments for your wife, she shouldn't get to live off your money after you divorce. Women can get jobs too. Sounds like your ex was no fun, but this is your chance to focus on yourself and what you learned about your own personality in the relationship so that the next one will be better. Whatever her faults were, you at least don't have to deal with them anymore, but every failed marriage took two people (just as every successful marriage does). There are a lot of good women out there, I hope you find one.

LOL, I thought marriage was made only for the benefit of men!! Seems like the women are paying them back now for centuries of misery. Now, this doesn't mean I don't sympathize with you. I do, believe me. However, it is the times! Women are trying to find themselves. I do not know what they will find, but it is the woman who is changing fast, faster than the man...:) Since you still love women, I am sure you will find a good girl soon. It is not the end of the world for you. Relax, and you will surely find a good life partner!

And you call those a successful marriage? lol I have been through 3 divorces, each for a different reason, and none because of what they did or didn't do to help around the house. I am no living with an amazing man, who has also been through 3 divorces, and yes for whatever reason we decided to give it a shot lol However, we decided that if we were still together in 30 years or so then we would get married, well considering we can make it to the church and still hear the preacher lol Not all women are just in marriage for the money, and if they are then I'm thinking the guy should have had some clue to that before the I do's. I was in a marriage for 16 years where I did all the housework, raised the kids, opened my own doors and solved all the daily problems, oh and I got flowers, when I bought them myself. I now work full time and from all those years, I still do most of the housework, although he does help a lot of them time, which I have to admit is nice. He opens doors for me and brings me little surprises for no reason, not because I expect though, just because that is the way he is. I do think you have a good plan, live together first, but even then it doesn't guarantee that she won't change into a monster after the I do's, but there are some of us that don't have that monster gene. lol

I think in every relationship things should be equal. Otherwise someone is going to feel like they are doing all the work. Better luck next time!

I think you are really pretty bitter right now and seeing things a bit biased. A lot of good men and good women have good marriages where the man is intelligent and is loved by his wife and she supports him and probably also works and then still bears his kids, and does the house work, and all the stuff that is woman's work. So if she asks for a little help around the house the intelligent man willingly does this as he knows she has also had a rough day and is still working. this is 2008 not 1808 and if a man can help beget a baby he surely can help change a diaper also.Slavery both colored slavery and wife slavery has been abolished.

divorce!!! divorce means dissolution of valid marriage. the grounds are. when the husband is suffering from veneral diseases, in communicable form for a minimum period of three years or in curable lunacy.when the husband is guilt of adultory. and now a dyas this this the most common excuse for common thing now a days. people who go through this procedure i dont how they suffer and u know honestly they feel satisfied. no one ares for anybodies feeling while ditching. god help

I think you ended on a very wise note there, Soren: "Next time I'll try cohabitation first." I honestly don't understand how two people can get into a marriage without first living together - that's just a personal view, and I know many cultures don't approve, and that there are plenty of relationships that do work out from this way, but I couldn't marry someone that I hadn't first lived with and shared the household responsibilities with for some time. I shouldn't make a value judgement, though, just stating my opinion =) It sounds like your ex treated you like absolute sh*t, and you're right, it's ridiculously unfair that you're the one in this position. I know you're just having a rant and that's understandable, but I do just want to stick up for myself and other women in that we don't expect men to be the sole earners or do everything while we do nothing or anything like this (Again, I know you're speaking from your experience). There are some women who think this way, as there are some men still stuck in the mindset of a cooking-cleaning-babymaking-housewife and all that, but for the most part, I think that people are usually quite reasonable and want the best for their partner and themselves. The most successful marriages that I have seen are those that don't end up in marriage, but where two people are happy to just be together, committed and in love - compromising and working together to make it work. It seems that people associate a new leaf and some special new roles once there is a "husband" and a "wife", and they are no longer an ordinary person with whom you are in a relationship, you know what I mean? Again, I think that your decision for cohabitation before marriage is a good one, and I hope that you can find someone to love and share your life with in happiness =D