Once Angry, Twice Confused

Yes! With my brother. He is low in cash and frequently gets hand outs from my Mom. My Mom is retired so, she is now on a fixed income. My brother pulled me aside and, as usual, gave me his sob story. This was over Christmas. So, to be nice, I gave him a gift that I had bought for his fiancee so that he would have something to give to her for Christmas. In that same conversation, he told me how my parents don't help him with anything. They haven't done anything for his baby...blah blah blah. I sort of knew this to be untrue but, I blew it off. BTW...he is 32 years old. Time to be a freaking man. But, I digress. Back to my story. Later on, as my sis and my Mom and I are talking, we all realized that each one of us had given my bro, yet another hand out. And, my bro was being a jerk to my sis who, is also always struggling for cash. At that point, I started stewing and my sis and mom kept asking me if I was ok. I didn't even know they could see it on my face. I really try to be supportive of everyone and to stay out of the drama because it can cause a lot of pain and hard feelings so, I have kept a lot to myself and kept it all bundled up. I blew my stack and I let it all out. I begged my mom to cut my brother off from her hand outs...which had amounted to over $6,000 in the past year. I told her about all the mean things that he had said about her. I felt bad for betraying him like that but, my mom is my concern. She can't afford to be helping him out like that. When her money runs out, then what? So, I don't know if she has continued to refuse him anymore hand outs. He is an ingrate and, as for my sis and I, I know that we don't let him mooch off of us anymore. I only hope that my Mom doesn't either. So, yes. I have walked away from the crap my brother has pulled a lot and, I even walked away from that last thing until I learned of more stunts he pulled and it put me over the edge and came back to make me mad later on.

Sure. I have done it, plenty! I tend to take things at face value and react accordingly at first. Upon review though, I do reserve the right to adjust my response :) I think it is a side effect of my "giving them the benefit of the doubt" personality. I have learned that this personality trait isn't always a treat. Sometimes your gut tells you exactly what you need to know...and you second guess it. I am working on respecting the intuitive part of myself a bit more so I don't try to talk myself back into the unoffended frame of mind. I'm easy going so if I am p*ssed, I give myself the the right to be and I go with that until I'm not.

Yes I have. Sometimes it just depends on my mood at the moment. If I'm in a forgiving, carefree mood I might let something go. Then later when I think about it get upset especially if I start remember similar things that the person has done to upset me before.

Oh yes. I have had that happen to be quite often and am glad it happened later as I would probably have lost my temper. Then later I would perhaps have been slightly embarrassed at making a scene.

I know exactly what you are talking about. Right now im feeling that exact same way, but im trying to not let it get the best of me. Im pretty sick right now and Im going to the doctor this morning. Well, usually when I have appointments, my grandma keeps the kids for me and then i pick them up after. Well, yesterday she took Courtney, but didnt act like she wanted to take Catelyn, but offered. I declined the offer and told her i'd take Catelyn with me today. Well, a few hours later i began to get really sick and I called her and she said that Catelyn could come over later, but her sister was there and she'd call me back (her sister is very bossy and controlling and gets mad when the kids are at my grandmas)...well..HOURS later, she still hadnt called and so I called her. My grandpa was there (you know they are seperated) and she didnt offer again to keep Catelyn. So, im pretty peeved today because of the REASON she didnt keep her...she is too much under their control to even be able to babysit her great grandkids for a night and morning because of what "they" may say about it. They must be really griping at her lately because usually she says that she doesnt care what they have to say about anything she does. So i tried to call her this morning to check on Courtney, and she didnt answer, which means she was on the other line (her machine didnt pick up like it would if she just wasnt there or whatever) with one of them probably and she wouldnt tell them to hold on a minute. So, this morning im not only sick, but more ticked off than I was last night, but trying not to be.....

My whole year of 2006 was my "winner" year, the kind where it was one thing after another, like a snowball effect..first my mother's continuing health issues and she quickly deteriorated and I was her caregiver, then we got an eviction notice..my mother was so "out of it" I don't even think she realized we were being evicted...then I had to scramble and find a lawyer, had to find homes for our extra cats pronto, appear at court appearances, then in the middle of the court proceedings my mother passed away....yikes---yet the common thing everyone said to me..."How can you be so calm?" Have no idea unless it was the realization that getting into a panic wasn't going to solve anything and if ever there was a time I needed a clear head that was it. Looking back now, no I don't get angry over the situation except thinking that our eviction issue didn't even really have to happen in the first place..but no not angry...my main thought is..Yikes just how did I survive that? I often wonder if I could have handled the same situation if it happened now...

I can't think of a situation where that happened to me off hand, because if I wasn't upset it couldn't have been a big deal, so why suddenly did it become a big deal just because someone else thought so. I hold my own opinion and I am not influenced by what others think, my boyfriend is the same way.

Yes and it is very annoying. I might be in a situation where someone kinds of ditz's me and I just laugh then later I'll be thinking of it and sometimes I do have a habit of reading more into a situation then really happen...then I do get upset.

My mother has a way of making me mad, only I don't realise it until later on. For example, when things go wrong in my life, she is quick to say that I had to have caused them and that I must have deserved them, like I am responsible for the actions of people I have never met. One incident, that I can't go into detail about, she said that I must have done something for all these so called help organisations to turn their backs on my girls and I. Yeah, I probably didn't donate to them that year, like most of the population, but everyone else was still able to get help when they really needed it. Any way, it wasn't until the girls and I were safe and secure again, thanks to our local youth services who risked their funding to help us, so a couple of months later, that I got furious with her. As a result, I'm very careful what I tell her for fear she puts that burden on me again. Thankfully, everything ended up working out fine, but having an accusatory mother really doesn't help when all you want is for her to say that she will be there for you no matter what.

all i knew is angry much better than hopeless