Honor based parenting.
@gitfiddleplayer (10362)
United States
May 10, 2008 12:52pm CST
I've recently started, well, I've been doing it for about year, its called honor based parenting. I'm teaching my children to honor mom and dad, not just respect us. Yes respect is good but honor takes it one step further. It teaches them to obey mom and dad but it lets them extend their knowledge of why we want them to listen and obey. Its big brother and little sister in our house so its different for other households to learn honor based parenting. Each one will police the other and peers often work to our advantage. Has anyone tried this approach? If you want more info let me know. I think it will change the way you respond to your kids, I was tired of being judge, jury and executioner so when this well sprang up I dove in fully clothed.
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2 responses
@edgyk8inmomma (2157)
• United States
10 May 08
Interesting. My mom always had(well still does) a philosophy about the word proud. She would never say she's proud of us, instead would say she was honored by our action or decision, or that she felt honored to be our mother. I didn't know there were others out there with a similar philosophy, enough anyway to start a parenting philosophy.
I too, have followed this example with my own children. I would be very interested in hearing more of this philosophy. I homeschool my kids with the un-schooling approach. In this we find a relationship between everything in the world, from science to math to life skills. I think learning more about this parenting style would be beneficial in our everyday lives(which includes our schooling).
Thanks!
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@gitfiddleplayer (10362)
• United States
11 May 08
I home school my children too, (8) and (5). My wife is a travel nurse so it made more sense to do it this way. I don't ever want to send them to P.S. 666 again. We start everyday with devotions and use learning as learning, not just reciting facts, any robot can do that. Teaching honor is hard because I have to learn it too, I wasn't taught it either. So we're all learning together. Honor based parenting is a new concept that most people don't think about or even know about. Check out this book, "Say Goodbye To Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes... in you and your kids!" Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller. It will help a lot, I love to keep in contact with you to see how it works for you.
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@supermansdead04 (5)
•
19 Jun 08
That's an interesting approach; I haven't heard about it before reading your post.
Just as a side note, I am not a parent; I'm 19 years old- so do take what I'm saying while keeping that in mind.
One question that sprung to my mind while reading your post was, "Why should your children respect or honor you?" Should all children respect and honor their parents, seeing as how children do not get to pick their parents, and not all parents are good parents?
I am thoroughly interested in psychology, and am hoping to become a child psychologist. One thing I am curious about, is if you think it is a good idea to teach your children to obey adults just because they are adults- or because they have the control. (I'm not saying that is what you are doing, but children understand things much differently than adults do). That could send a mixed message to your kids, if you tell them not to listen to all adults.
When you say that respect is good- may I ask what you meant by that?
Thanks:-) I hope my response was helpful!
@gitfiddleplayer (10362)
• United States
19 Jun 08
Don't let being 19 exclude you from what you want to say, you're words are very profound. I completly understand where you are coming from. Respect is often associated with authority, example, I might not like my boss but I respect his authority over me. I'm teaching my children respect for people that have authority over them, I teach them a list of those people. I also teach them to understand who has authority over them, if someone is hurting them or making them feel bad then respect is not reciprocated. Honor is listening to those who want to guide you, knowing the difference is sometimes hard, and letting the people you respect, honor you, and you them as well. You asked why my children should respect or honor me, well, its simple, because I have the responsiblity to guide them, I don't want the world raising them, they're mine to raise and direct. True, not all parents are "good" parents, but children are innocent by nature, they are taught certain patterns and develope them quickly. Honor just takes it a step further, I honor my children by giving them love and letting them know why I love them. Its about encouragement not encroachment. They don't need someone telling them what to do but why it needs to be done. Then they will understand why things are done for them and they will in turn begin to do those things for others, honor. I hope this was helpful to you.
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