so just got back from a blind date

I wouldn't accept a second date. Trust your instincts with people. It is the most accurate guide to how you will get on with others. There are three main things that should leap out at you now as alarm bells for the future: 1. He talked about himself non-stop. That's a person who is entirely self absorbed. He is not in the least bit interested in you, it is all about him. Yes, people are always a bit nervous when they go on first dates, but once they calm down, there should be MUTUAL conversation, not just one person talking (a taker) while the other person listens (a giver). 2. A basic lack of respect. Anyone who asks you a question then interrupts your answer to continue talking, or worse still, gets up to go somewhere in the middle of it, is showing you no respect at all. In fact, the strongest message he is giving you here is: "You are not worth listening to, so I will go off and please myself instead". But that is not surprising with self-absorbed people. They mainly talk about them, without asking questions to learn about others, because they make themselves feel important through that self focus. Respect is at the heart of every relationship. If he shows you none now, when this is the time when people try to impress each other, he is not going to get any better. His behaviour will only get worse. 3. His desire to control your input into the date by interrupting your response, walking ahead of you instead of beside you and explaining things to you in the film as if you were a child. Apart from the fact that his action in a public place was rather rude anyway, it shows his perception of you, or women in general. This a a man with a low opinion of himself who boosts that low ego at the expense of others, namely dates like you. He has little interest in you as a person. You are just an object he uses to boost his confidence, hence why he does not allow you to give an input and would try to treat you like a child. You give him the opportunity to show off, to reinforce his pretence of being somebody worth knowing. But you mean very little to him as a person. If that is the kind of man you seek, then have a second date. But your instincts are giving you warning signs. Please do not ignore them, as your own desire for approval might get you sucked into a relationship which might not only belittle you gradually as it goes along, but would drain you every day of your resources. That man is a taker, and one usually gets nothing from takers. They merely drain you in the end as you will never be able to please them fully. Finally, you are not over-analysing at all. Your instincts are giving you messages you need to heed. If you don't pay attention to them, you could pay quite a price in being treated with little respect and certainly no love. As to his physical behaviour (no friendly touch etc), he has to be allowed to be himself until he gets used to you, but even that could be a part of his controlling approach where he decides whether to touch or not etc. However, that should not be held against anyone just because it does not conform to your expectations.

I think the guy was just nervous. You know how nerve gets the better of people, and make them behave in a way that is not their usual natural self. Sometimes, they don't know what they are doing or they make a fool of themselves trying to please the other person. Give him a little more time, and see how he reacts when he is more comfortable with himself and in your presence. Then maybe you can see his true self, some of his habits and behaviors. Perhaps while you continue to accept his dates, you should keep the relationship more casual first until you have a chance to gauge him well. Don't be too critical of him for the moment. Who knows, you might just like him better when he gets over his nerves. All the best.

i think what you analysed are good observation. it seems you can judge persons well. i think you are right that he seems not so ideal match. may be you can go for another date.

Nerves are one thing, but, yeah, you are more generous than I would have been,lol in accepting a second date. The talking through the whole movie, umm I think I would have tactfully told him 'just let me watch the movie' As for asking a question and then not being able to wait 5 seconds, that's rude. The darting out in front of you, was he protecting you from an oncoming car? That would have bugged the livin tar outta me. I'm thinking he's the one who ws off on the attire to wear to a casual restaurant, not you, casual means just that, not a jacket and tie. I really don't think you are over analyzing this, but I guess you'll find out on the next date. Of course I was never big on blind dates.

See how the second one goes, he was probably nervous so it is unfair to judge him on one date. I hope te next one is better!

I've been on one blind date...never again. And from what you are saying, maybe you shouldn't be going on a second one either. The walking in front and the abrupt going to the bathroom seems strange to me. As far as the contact I agree with him, some people may take that as being to fast. Maybe you should make the contact first, to show him that it is ok. But like I said, I'd probably not do a second if I was you. If you do, and the same thing happens again, I'd probably not return for a third time.

Why not see about getting together in the afternoon and having a cup of coffee or tea. Just have a normal start of a conversation and lead into talking about your date the other night. I am a upfront kind of person and I personally don't leave anything to chance so I would find out his take on the date and how he thought it went. I would give him my viewpoint and let him know the things that bothered me. You want to make sure that both of you are on the right foot on your second date. Going for coffee or tea to me is not a date. That way you can set the stage for whether you truly want another date or not with him and him with you.

I think he was partially nervous and partially not really paying attention to you. There was no need for him to explain the parts in the movie. Most movies are self-explanatory and you don't need a narrative by your date. When asking a question, don't interupt, even if you have to use the bathroom. I had a friend who's girlfriend at the time would do that, I hated it and I completely avoided him the entire time he was dating her. The no contact thing also makes me wonder. He should have at least been personalble. A hand on the arm, a touch to the hair possibly, that kind of thing. Women see those kinds of things as interest in them. To not do them really makes you wonder. I say go on the 2nd date. If it's more of the same, don't bother with a 3rd.

First, before I go any farther, people nowadays are confusing casual attire with what used to be considered factory or farmwork attire. A casual restaurant for a man should be pants, sports jacket and tie; for a woman, dress slacks and top, skirt and top or a casual dress. Jeans are appropriate for McDonalds or Burger King. I am sorry if anyone disagrees with my opinion on this but manners are really going out of the door now and dressing appropriately for an occasion is part of having manners. And yes, I, too, am guilty of underdressing when going to casual restaurants since it is so easy to do so nowadays...but that doesn't make it right! Your date may very well have been put off by your too casual approach of dressing for this restaurant and date. Quite frankly, if I had made an effort of dressing up a bit and the man had shown up in jeans and a top, it would have bothered me. I would have felt that he didn't think I was worth the time to put on something nice. Now onto the talking. Why did he talk so much? Was he talking about himself? Was he trying to include you in the conversation? If he was just talking about himself and not trying to include you in the discussion, then that sends up a warning sign to me. True, he may have been nervous but the fact that he cut you off in the middle of a sentence really bothers me. He must have known when he asked you the question that he needed to go to the bathroom, so he should have excused himself then...not during your answer. That's just rude and says that what you have to say has absolutely no importance to him. And talking through the movie? Explaining the characters to you? To me, that is just saying that you do not have the intelligence to figure out the movie yourself. Unless you said something to him that would lead him to this conclusion, then this is another huge warning sign to me. Finally, walking in front of you is another red sign to me. You didn't mention the nationality of this gentleman and I do realize that some nationalities view men as being more important than women. Is that what you want? Frankly, I don't want someone who will walk ahead of me and nor do I want someone who will walk behind me. I want someone who will walk beside me and forever think of me as their equal. Second date? That's up to you. If you go through with it, I wish you luck and please let us know how it goes. For myself, there are just too many red flags.

i wouldnt say so , i think it was kind of a boring date but nothing over top , i think this time you should take the wheel of control of this up coming date to expand and connect with each other hope all goes well for you

hi sonadora. its the first date, give it time. i would presume that you like him enough that's why he gets a second date. this time, why don't you set some activities for you guys to do so you'll find out more about him? i have gone on a lot of blind dates myself and i usually attribute stuff like these to being nervous. if in the second date, the girl still makes some of these annoying habits, that's it...sayonara baby!!!

Obviously blind dates are an odd one. Your lucky it didn't go worse than that, and I think you're being kinder than I would have been by giving into a second date. But it's smart - of course it could well have been nerves, though I'm not sure about this walking arrangement, taht would have been very offputting for me. I doubt it would be, but hopeful its not because he thinks he should lead - being the man and all lol - what an outdated ideal.

My boyfriend and I actually met on a blind date. I literally knew nothing about him other than he was a cop(my cousin works with him and set us up). We were nothing like ourselves for the first portion of the night. We went to dinner, then we supposed to meet a bunch of our friends at a bar. The first part of the night, we were both incredibly nervous and were only partially ourselves(at least according to him). The second part of the night, we both got drunk, so we loosened up quite a bit. In your case, it may be nerves, it may be a sign of no connection. I would try a second date and see if things get better. If so, then great, if not then don't worry about it and move on. Good luck whatever you choose.

haha.. i really ended up laughing while reading your post. i can imagine how kinda bored you got with him. i guess he's just putting his best foot forward to impress you. he just wanted to make a very good impression. unfortunately, sometimes, the more we try to look and sound better, the more we screw things up. i think all you guys gotta do is to be more comfortable with each other. you better take things slow dear.. im sure your second date would be so much better than the first one :) cheer up..

I believe in second chances so give him a shot. But if he is as disrespectful to you, I would call it done! Just be careful. You would think first date he would atleast TRY to pretend to respect your feelings!

first dates are always nerve wracking.. far as the no touchy.. maybe he thought you didnt want him to nd he was too nervous to step out of line that he didnt make a move at all LOL go for a second.. if hes still the same irritating thing.. i wouldnt go on a third.