Would you do this for him : Staying with his family

Yes, I would have stayed back for him and tested the waters so to speak. His parents are the people because whom he is here for you today…you must not forget that and also overnight no son should change so much so as not to want to help his parents. So if you had not agreed, it would have caused unnecessary friction in your married life. On the other hand, if you do stay back and help and then they are not nice to you, your hubby would have nothing to complain against you. But if they are nice, it would be an added bonus to your new life, after all good in-laws (and then grandparents) are the greatest gifts which we miss in today’s society.

Yes we had a long discussion about it,because it is something I had been thinking about it for a while,and I believe I do owe my parents alot,because they have always put me before themselves,even now that I am 23 they still put me and the bills first,which causes them a lot of stress,which is why I feel like we should help them with the mortgage and the bills,so that way they wont have to worry and my dad wont have to keep working his butt off just to try and stay ahead.My fiance suggested that we talk to my mom about waiting until after we get jobs,and get our first couple pay checks,and make an arrangement where we help with the mortgage or one month we pay the bills,and then they pay the bills and go like that or,every couple months we pay all the bills,and then the rest of the time we buy grocery's and just help them with the mortgage,I think that living here would be better than moving out anyway,because we can learn to budget,with my parents help,and we can learn what its like to pay bills,without getting in over our heads,and besides living here we can save our money faster,and even if we are here,at some point we can have children,because here my parents can help us with them,and there is room for children here,and besides it would help us learn responsibility's because not only would be doing for ourselves,we would be using our money to help them.I also think this would help us not to be as stressed either,so that way we wont get into as many fights,because we are overstressed and not sure what to do.I also think that loans arent risky especially if we get a small loan like between 500 and 5000 dollars, then we could make a dent in the mortgage and besides we wouldnt have to get it for a while,and then we could pay it back on time so that way it dont hurt our credit.

I think it would be okay to do, but as a new couple, I would think that you would want to build a life of your own. Living with them will only hinder doing that.

hi dear we love in joint family system so me and my lives with parents and its really fun. take care

I understand helping his parents out. But what kinds of jobs do you and your fiance have? Have you gone through school, educated yourselves to work and do what you need to survive in this world? If you both think it would be good for your relationship, and your economical future, then do it. But realize you and your fiance will end up with a family of your own, and your children will need a house that you both pay everything in. If it's training for your kids, I understand, but I'm not sure if I'd be willing to assume all of their bills, on top of his. That's a lot, when you are engaged. Getting out a loan, just remember you have to repay, with interest. It depends on your finances already and what you want to do with your life, your house, etc... You also need to be sure that you have financial security, and that not everything is going into his and his parents house. I'm sure you love him and trust him (why else would you be engaged) but you need to make sure, if anything was to happen, that you have something of your own. Sorry to say, but I've seen it happen too many times.

I honestly have not read everyone else's response to this, so if I repeat others opinions/suggestions, I apologize. At this point in your lives, you need to look to your future. Having the opportunity to stay with your in-laws to save money, and help them along the way is great, but maybe instead of alternating paying monthly obligations, you should sit down with your in-laws and talk about what their monthly costs are, what your budget is, and agree on a monthly amount for you to pay them each month for YOUR living expenses. When I chose to become a parent, I knew that I was choosing to put someone else's needs ahead of my own for the rest of my life (not for the next 18 years). It is not my child's responsibility to pay my debts (and believe me, I have a lot). As far as getting experience paying bills, my suggestion is to continue paying cell phone bills, get one credit card DO NOT max it out, use it responsibly, pay on time every month to build your credit, pay your in-laws the cost of your living expenses on a given date every month, so that they know they can count on that money each month to pay your share of the mortgage, utilities, groceries, etc. In the meantime, put away every penny you can in to savings so that when you have grown children, they do not need to be concerned about helping you pay your bills.

i think its good to stay together. there are obviously some pros. you can share the bill and also there are some elder persons who can guide you. but always it is not all good. best of luck.

You must get along with his parents very nicely. That is the thing that should be looked at in a situation like this. You don't want it to be a stressful situation. If in your heart this is what you are offering than that is great. In my situation my husbands Mom and I got along fair but if I ever had to live with her I am afraid there would be friction more between us. One thing I would also do is all four of you sit down and discuss what is expected from each of you so that there are no surprises once this happens. Good Luck To You

I think if you get along fine, then it is great if you can stay there and save. But you must think about yourselves. It is nice to help out, but I wouldn't go as far as getting a loan. This would be way to risky.

I supported him by telling I trust what he is doing, even though it's weird to me at that time, but my heart as if commanded me to told him that. Funny, he got brighter since then, and now he always lives in his full-confidence. I never tell him to do this-or-that, I just told him, "I trust you whatever you do."

great for you. IN today's soceity everything cost so much that I don't know what I will do. But I do feel that you fiance will not be moving out. If he does move out and buy a place with you, the talk about "his parents moving in with both of you" will be next. Since both of his parents will be retiring, there will not be enough money to pay mortgage etc. If you both take out a loan to help them with the mortgage, what will happen to your financial status. You be stuck with a loan too and no money for a home for the both of you and your future kids. I hope you find a solution to this and one that will make you and him both happy at the end.

I think with the way the economy is today and the fact that it's getting worse, more families and couples should think about living together and helping each other out. Sometimes young people used to do that in the past. Now everyone thinks you should jump out there with both feet, get lots of credit, buy houses that are too big. I think you're going to be better prepared.

According to your replies, you've already pretty much decided to move in with them, and I'm not in your situation, so I won't begin to try as dissuade you from that. First thing, I would not take out a loan to help his parents with their financial difficulty. It will seem like a quick fix, but will cost you more in the end. It sounds as though you and your fiance do not have much credit built up, so the interest you would get on the loan would be very high and not worthwhile. Is it possible for you to split the bills in half with them each month, as opposed to what you said, where you will pay everything every other month. That would make it easier for everyone involved I would think. You don't want to shell out all your money one month and have nothing left over, then the next month have an influx. Better to do it as an even progression in my opinion. If I were to move in with them, BEFORE I make the final decision, I would sit down with your fiance and his parents and write down exactly what you will be helping them with so everyone is clear. This does not have to be a huge deal. Just ask them if they would mind going over everything so you and your fiance can write up a budget for paying bills, saving for the wedding, and saving for the future. Just make sure everyone is clear on what they are providing/getting. Even if you don't expect them to pay you back this is a good idea, so you know where you stand. Some things to ask while you are there discussing the mortgage: Are you going to help them pay off their entire mortgage? Does your fiance have siblings that would get the house as part of a will or will he retain full ownership after their passing?(morbid, yes, but important) What other chores are you responsible for?(ie who is paying for food, who is cleaning, etc.)

i think i would agree and suggest the same thing to help them...i mean, they are family right?but just make sure to set your limit with helping them.good luck!