What would you do if while walking througha park you saw a man beating his wife?
By tjades
@tjades (3591)
Jamaica
May 12, 2008 11:03am CST
I saw this on Oprah yesterday (a repeat broadcast I guess) and was amazed that only one woman rendered any assistance that could really benefit the woman in distress.
People did stop stare and say something but none offered any real assistance. Some even went as far as telling the man to stop beating her in the park. They should take it home.
The one woman who really offered assistance demanded that the man stop hitting the woman and she refused to move on until she was safe. She turned to those looking on and asked for a cellphone or for someone to call the officials.
The couple had actually been at it in the park for five hours. Good thing was that they were actors. It was a practical prank to find out how people react to those in need of assistance.
The actress said that it went on until she could no longer separate herself from her role. Is this really how we would treat someone in such a positon?
Its hard to believe that a woman being pommelled by her husband in such a public park would have to wait for so long to finally receive any real help from passersby. And to think people were more concerned with the fact that it was taking place in a public park. !!! What kind of assistance is that to give to a woman in distress?
I decided to throw it out to fellow mylotters. What would you do in such a case?
The one woman who really offered assistance demanded that the man stop hitting the woman and she refused to move on until she was safe. She turned to those looking on and asked for a cellphone or for someone to call the officials.
The couple had actually been at it in the park for five hours. Good thing was that they were actors. It was a practical prank to find out how people react to those in need of assistance.
The actress said that it went on until she could no longer separate herself from her role. Is this really how we would treat someone in such a positon?
Its hard to believe that a woman being pommelled by her husband in such a public park would have to wait for so long to finally receive any real help from passersby. And to think people were more concerned with the fact that it was taking place in a public park. !!! What kind of assistance is that to give to a woman in distress?
I decided to throw it out to fellow mylotters. What would you do in such a case?16 people like this
51 responses
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
12 May 08
I've actually seen documentaries like this where they set up a scenario (wife beating, child abduction etc) and have hidden cameras around to see what happens..I think the one that SHOCKED ME to no end was a fake child abduction in a very busy area...NOBODY did anything..Not one passerby went to the aid of this child!!
What would I do..same thing I always do when possible, get involved and help....
3 people like this
@tjades (3591)
• Jamaica
17 May 08
Now that is scary. How much are we really going to ourselves into this "its non of my business" attitude?
You know no matter what we think we are each others keepers. When someone goes missing the search is widened to include the entire community to find out who might have some useful information.
Thats how many cases are solved. What if we really got to the stage where we stopped caring for each other that much? That would be pretty sad.
Thanks for sharing Ravenlady. (lol)
@travibabiesgirl (1690)
• United States
13 May 08
I saw one with child abduction but it was one to see if your child would do the right thing. I could not believe how many children just up and went with a stranger. I could not stand by and watch a child be abducted. I would call the police and try to stall the abductor or follow him.
@travibabiesgirl (1690)
• United States
12 May 08
I think that is horrible. I can't believe that people would just complain that it needed to be taken home. I don't know how anyone could just keep walking. I would call the police at least. It would be hard for me to physically get involved because I lived next door to a woman who got beat on a regular baises. I tried to intervene and my step dad would get on to me. I rode my horse to a pay phone to call my mom to see what I needed to do. I tried more than once to help this lady and she would keep going back to her husband. I got tired of getting grounded by helping her and gave up. I have told my kids to stay out of peoples business but if someone was in a fight or needed help to call the police.
3 people like this
@di1159 (1580)
• United States
12 May 08
I would be dialing 911 as fast as my finger could dial! I saw that same segment on television and was also appalled that most people just looked but kept on walking like it was none of their business getting involved. Sadly this an attitude we see more and more each day where people don't want to get involved and I think that's one reason we have so many problems in the world today. If I didn't have a phone I would scream for help at the top of my lungs to try to get him to stop. I hope I never have to encounter a situation like this!
1 person likes this
@ayumitakashi (4462)
• United States
12 May 08
Take it home? How sick is that? Well If I saw something like that happened I would be scared for that woman and of course I would have done something. I would have called the police. I still can not believe that someone said to take it home. That is just so unbeliavable.
3 people like this
@nicholejade (2430)
• Canada
12 May 08
Take it home? I am assuming he beats his wife or girlfriend only behind closed doors. It still does not make it right. That is kinda sick and twisted. It's pretty sad how public abuse is so out there. But in reality it is. I would call the officials and wait till they come. Other than that I couldn't do much more. You don't want to interfere and try and do something to the guy that is doing as you don't know if he has a weapon and you don't know what his state of mind really is. You could end up hurt as well. It's not worth trying to be a hero.
2 people like this
@tjades (3591)
• Jamaica
17 May 08
I agree with you both here. that woman was rather brave but I guess too that she saw it as a take charge situation or else leave the woman to be pomeeeled a while longer. Lukily for her it was a act and her intervention did save the woman getting a few more licks.
I do thin I saw some such documentary where the woman turned on those who tried to assist her. I guess we just have to judge that any woman we see being abused is not like that and at least call the cops.
It is awful though for someone to have the nerve to suggest to an abuser to take the beating of his wife/girlfriend home.
Thanks for sharing. (lol)
@travibabiesgirl (1690)
• United States
13 May 08
I agree with you on this as well that the guy who said to take it home probably beats his wife. Not only could the guy doing the beating have a weapon who is to say the woman wouldn't turn on you for trying to help. I have saw and heard stories in real life and on cops where the woman was being physically abused and when another person got involved trying to help her she attacked the person trying to help her including the one on cops it was the cop she attacked. That is why I said stay out of it but call the cops there are some real crazy people out there.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
12 May 08
I do understand peoples concerns for not getting involved in it as they were not aware if the man carried any weapons that could harm either the one intervening or the woman that was receiving the beating. I would, however, had called an official and if need be stay in the park but at a distance where I could approached if charges were to be made against the man.
2 people like this
@tjades (3591)
• Jamaica
17 May 08
That is apparently the first thing on the mind of many persons and thats ok. Its the walking away and telling them to take it home that creates the stir.
Common decency should have at least bid them to make that call.
Thanks for sharing SomeCowgirl. (lol)
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
8 Jun 08
Sadly, some people feel that these affairs should be done at home. However, what I wonder about is if these people feel that it is okay for a man to beat his wife. It's sad that this "act" had to be made to see the reactions of people. We are quick to kill but not quick to alleviate a situation like this that could have led to her being killed?
Sad.
1 person likes this
@jesbellaine (4139)
• Philippines
12 May 08
When we were in junior high, we have witnessed a man slapping his girlfriend or wife (I really don't know).. but he keeps on slapping her so my friend and I went to the nearest "guard" which is inside a stall to inform him what was happening. Thankfully, the guard went outside and informed the man to stop doing that or he will get him to the police. The guard assisted the lady in finding another cab so that she can go home.... so i would still do the same thing.. call someone for help.
@wooitsmolly (3613)
• United States
12 May 08
I would do something similar to the one woman. I would go up to them and ask what's going on and if the woman is okay. I would say to the woman, "Please stay with me. I am calling the police." Then I would call the cops. There is no way I would just stand there and do nothing and I definitely wouldn't just walk away! I would feel so guilty!
@tjades (3591)
• Jamaica
17 May 08
Here again is another take charge sort of person. I maybe would approach the couple but I certainly would call the cops and at least stay there until help came.
I maybe, just maybe after assessing the situation somewhat would see if I could say something to get him to stop beating the woman.
Thanks for sharing Wooitsmolly. (lol)
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
12 May 08
I would have to do something. There is no way I could just look the other way. I think I would do something to cause a distraction like overreact and beg the man to come help save a child who is stuck somewhere..... whatever. I would grab her hand and help her run and start shouting that the cops have been called or something.
I have actually been in a similar situation. Both members of the couple had been drinking too much at a wedding we had all been attending. He was beating her in the parking lot and she was just helpless. Fortunately there was a 6 foot 3 rather large man who worked as a prison guard in the vacinity. We sought his assistance and he basically just tossed the guy in the backseat of a car and said sleep it off idiot. We found her a ride home, but the whole time we were putting her in the car she was crying and saying that she needed to go back and check on him. It was all very frustrating. She could hardly talk because her lips where so swollen and one eye was swollen shut, but she seemed to be more worried about him being too stinking drunk to figure out how to get out of the backseat of a car.
2 people like this
@tjades (3591)
• Jamaica
17 May 08
Why oh why oh why do women do that? Why?
How can a man be so mean to them and they hang on to them for dear life. Why?
I was smiling hard when you mentioned what the gaurd did but it totally went when I read of what the woman did. I especially get mad when children get caught up in these turbulent relationships.
Thanks for sharing Makingpots. (lol)
@warmweatherwoman (2233)
• Atlantic City, New Jersey
12 May 08
Unfortunatley- although my morals would absolutely have me not think twice to step in.....on the other hand- I have stepped in before in situations with people that I know- and have lost those battles because the women always went back and then who is the one in the wrong- the one who interfered in the first place...and I lost a good friend over it!
I guess it is much of a double edge sword in many ways- but the saying always remains the same- you can't help those - that don't want to help themselves. And in the case of strangers- you have no clue what is going on and what these people are like.
I guess ultimatley I would probably be the one to try and make eye contact with the woman- and if she gave any notion that she wanted my help I would.....but in any other case I would probably keep walking but call the police immediatley!
@tjades (3591)
• Jamaica
17 May 08
Ah now thats what I would do even if I got no indication from the woman that she needed help. I would silently call the cops and let them take it from there.
That two edged sword bit is so real that those who render assistance have to be on the alert.
Thanks for sharing Warmweatherwoman. (lol)
1 person likes this
@kaysue4 (951)
• United States
12 May 08
I have been on the receiving end of the beatings and people just don't want to get involved at all.
Now, for me, I have a fear of men and I would have stood there and called the police and would have stayed on the phone until someone showed up to help. I couldn't believe when someone told them to take it somewhere else!
When I lived in apartments I would call the police if I thought the guy above me was beating his wife also. Less people would get killed from domestic violance if others would step in, in just small ways.
Now, for me, I have a fear of men and I would have stood there and called the police and would have stayed on the phone until someone showed up to help. I couldn't believe when someone told them to take it somewhere else! When I lived in apartments I would call the police if I thought the guy above me was beating his wife also. Less people would get killed from domestic violance if others would step in, in just small ways.2 people like this
@tjades (3591)
• Jamaica
17 May 08
It is alarming just how uncaring we have become towards each other isnt it.
I am sorry to hear of your experience but will say he who feels it knows it. Just a phone call can save someones life or limbs in such cases. I wouldnt be able to trust men either. I doubt that very much.
Thanks for sharing. (lol)
@Countrymom (371)
• United States
12 May 08
I usually have my cell phone so the first thing I would do is call the police. Then I would go over where they were and see how I could help. I would tell the man that I had called police and that he needed to stop immediately and that I would definitely testify against him in court. I would see how I could help the woman. Of course, the man could in fact turn on me but he would have a real fight on his hands and would really appreciate it when the police arrived! I would ask the onlookers to assist and hopefully help the woman!I am glad it was just staged with an actor and actress but that is tragic that it would've taken so long to get help!
2 people like this
@tjades (3591)
• Jamaica
17 May 08
You sound like the take charge sort of person Countrymom. That would certainly have been a welcomed gesture even on the part of an actress.
Can you imagine being beaten like that for so long and only have people staring at you as if you were a part of some weird entertainment package?
I really hope many persons saw that episode of Opra and decide to change that attitude if thas how they are.
Thanks for sharing. (lol)
@dragonfly242 (1060)
• Bahamas
12 May 08
I watched that episode of Oprah, and was amazed at the action of some of the people that saw this happening.
But i understood some of them not wanting to get involved.
If it was me i'd have to first evaluate the situation for safty reasons.I cannot stand anyone being abused and i would have called the police, and then let them know that i've called the police. I hate to get involved in domestic disputes but in this instance i dont think that i could have just walked away seeing how disressed the woman looked.
What got to me were the people that said "take it home," suggesting that you can beat her, just not here
2 people like this
@tjades (3591)
• Jamaica
17 May 08
Hi dragonfly. I too can understand the reluctance to get directly involved like the lady did but a simple phoe call...?...So many people for so long...and no one thought of calling the authorities!
I agreee with you.
Its the leave of absence of that simple caring human act and the utterances of take it hame that made the entire scene so repulsive.
Thanks as always for sharing your views. (lol)
@reene0225 (351)
• United States
12 May 08
I read the first sentence of this and the people that just stopped and stared should be completely ashamed of themselves. If I saw a woman being beaten in a public park by some man I would call the police and I'd probably be so ticked off that I'd have to say something to him. I mean one person out of many was willing to help her. That isn't even close to enough. If my boyfriend seen that he would just go kick the crap out of the guy. My man is 6'4' and lifts weights so it'd be nothing to him to do that. I know it was just a prank to get a reaction out of people but it just goes to show you what if it really did happen like that. What if it wasn't a prank. 5 hours of being beat like that could kill someone.
2 people like this
@tjades (3591)
• Jamaica
17 May 08
Ah. Now while I was watching I thought that at least two or more of the men would have come together and restrained the man. Sadly they just stared and the gall to tell them to take it home.
Any woman in distress would have certainly be grateful to be assisted by your boyfriend. I for one like seeing men who are mean and abusive to women and children quiver and run away from the challenge of a real man.
I really believe men who beat women are cowards.
Thanks for sharing Reene. (lol)
@Ohara_1983 (4117)
• Kuwait
15 May 08
im not quit sure if i will throw a stone just to help, or just dial my cellphone to call a police. this problem is not happening to much in the public places but in thier own residence, it not easy that will be your neighbor keep on yelling & ask for help that you even dont know how to help. except just to call the police becauset they know how to protect them self than us.
1 person likes this
@aero89 (422)
• United States
12 May 08
I'd sic my husband on him (and have before)... and if my hubs wasn't there, I'd try to break it up. If he hits me, then I press charges - which most abused women will not do. Then, as I left, I'd tell the broad to wise up because by being beaten in a park, it's almost guaranteed that it isn't the first time it's ever happened.
1 person likes this
@fifileigh (3615)
• United States
14 May 08
stop, watch and stare to see what they do and how they would respond.
1 person likes this
@fifileigh (3615)
• United States
20 May 08
even if you decide to call the cops, by the time the cops come, the people will flee, unless you plan to detain them long enough until the cops arrive. so i dont think it would have helped matter to call the cops anyway. unless you are carrying a video camera or a digital camera along and took some photos to give to the cops when they arrived.
@hellcowboy (7374)
• United States
13 May 08
I think its sad that only one person decided to render assitance to the woman in need,if I was walking through a park or anywhere and saw a man beating a woman,I would first ask them woman if she is okay,and I would ask the man to stop what hes doing,and if he wouldnt stop then I would make him stop by any means neccessary ,though I can understand people not wanting to get involved,I myself wouldnt be able to look at myself in the mirror,if I didnt do anything to help,because you should always help someone in need,because if you do the world will be a better place.
1 person likes this
@hellcowboy (7374)
• United States
8 Jun 08
I agree,I was very relieved to know that it was just an act,and I am also disturbed by the fact that it could take place in real life,and I know it sucks that some people dont treat others with care,and I was more than happy to respond to you,and I hope that by responding to other peoples discussions they will respond to mine, have a good day,good luck in your life,and Happy Posting.
@cmelton (160)
• United States
12 May 08
I think this is terrible that only one person really did anything to help. I would have to do something, if only call the police. Like the other answer it would be hard to get physically involved. If these were not actors the women that intervened could have got hurt as well. But I would definatley say more than you need to take it home. I
@tjades (3591)
• Jamaica
17 May 08
The good thing is that she did not het involved physically but rather stood her ground and told the man to stop hitting the woman and she was not leaving until the cops got there.
I dont know if I would have been that brave either but I certainly would not just walk on by. Its surprising that for five hours only one person thought of even calling the police.
Thanks for sharing. (lol)
@sweetie_in_wa2002 (16)
• United States
13 May 08
I can not believe that everyone didn't try to help. My mother was beaten by my stepfather when I was little and I know what damage it can do to a person and the whole family. If I would have been there I would have stood in between the couple and refused to leave until the police got there. I think a person man or woman that beats his/her significant other is the lowest person in the world. No person ever deserves to be beaten by someone that is suppose to love them I don't care what they did.
1 person likes this
@tjades (3591)
• Jamaica
18 May 08
I support that view 110% Sweetie. Its only a cowardly man that beats upon and a woman because he knows he can overpower her.
Set him against a man and he'd shake in his boots. I cant understand why to this day some people feel that a woman causes the beating on herself.
I hope your dad lived to be ashamed of his actions final.
Thanks for sharing. (lol)
@sweetie_in_wa2002 (16)
• United States
18 May 08
I hope he did too. I haven't heard or seen him since 1981 when my mother left him. At least she had enough sense to get out of it before he killed her. Although he did his damage to me and my two sisters before they split up. I hope that he lived everyday in hell since him and my mother split up because what he did to my mother and sister. God will never forgive him for.
