Do you feel that married men are at disadvatageious postion..?

i do not think they are in that position. at least not here... i am in no position to confirm for other countries, but as far as i see, women here, even if they are working moms, they still put their husbands decisions first, and they still value the role of husbands in their family. that is what i have, at least seen - mostly from my friends who are married and to my brother.

Hi deepak! I think it goes both ways. Marriage is a commitment. Both should meet halfway and both should respect each other. I love and respect my husband and he loves and respect me. We go through difficult times but we won't give up because I know that in him, I find my strength and in me, he find his and together, we know we can get through anything. It is sad when I hear about friends and some family members go through broken relationships/marriages because one try to dominate the other and one becomes so passive that he/she becomes discontented. I admit that there are husbands who felt discontented and felt to be in the losing end of marriage and there are wives who feel the same way too. Just like what happened to my younger brother. My brother is a very sweet man but I saw him becoming withdrawn during his marriage. His wife is trying to dominate him. He never respects my brother's opinion and never appreciates him. She usually hurt my brother physically and verbally and that made my brother resent her more. She tells my brother that he has to do this and that and if my brother falls short of her expectations, she will hurl verbal abuse to him. He became a drunkard and after 7 years, he totally left her. My marriage is not perfect. We have our ups and downs but we try to hold on to each other. When one is weak, one becomes stronger for the other. I guess, husband and wives are going through the same thing with regards to their career and family life but they should know how to work as partners and as a team. If they compete with each other, then the relationship will fail and both will be at the losing end. Just my thoughts dear friend. Take Care and Keep Smiling! Happy Mylotting!

Well, I'm not sure about the disadvantage part. I don't understand why either spouse has to comply with the other's direction. I mean...all people concerned are adults...discuss things practically and move ahead. Personally, in my case, I am at a disadvantage. My husband is the one who bosses over me and I don't like that....so I usually don't give in. If he asks me nicely, I usually think about it and give in...but definitely do not like him bossing over me. Even if I am a housewife. I have an equal role to play. He goes out and works and I work at home. Why should he boss over me or me boss over him? But I do agree with you that some women do take advantage of the laws. I personally will not fall into that category. I'm too proud. And in the case you mentioned...if the woman is working, taking care of the house, and the children...then what does the husband have to cooperate or follow her wishes for?

Some men are yes. My husband is very lucky that way but as am I. We don't direct or tell eachother any thing. We do ask eachother to talk about things. We share the house hold chores, we share taking care of our daughter, we share the money we both make. I do have to say I do a little more then him in the house but he works more hours then me. I don't order him around. If I want some thing from him I ask for it. Because he loves me he does it (most of the time) but if he asks me for some thing I do it for him. Relationships aren't 50 / 50 they are 100 / 100. A lot of people don't realize that although you are "one" you are still two people. Two people need to give 100% to the other. Now I do know a few wives that order there husbands around. The only thing I can think is they are inscure women that don't know what else to do.

Poor men! They are most pitiable figures after marriages. In fact I think most suffer like anything. Whatever they do they come under suspicion. And they are highly under rated. The ladies of the house try to come to the forefront. This could be due to inferiority complex or excessive dominant nature and of course behavioural pattern developed since childhood of the wives. However, having said this the other way round is not uncommon as well.

Well my friend, I think that maybe this is the first time that we don't really completely agree LOL I don't think men, or women for that matter should obey to one or the other. They're supposed to be a team and work together. It's team work, not I rule/you obey. Now, it is true that justice tends to rule in favor of women, because traditionally abuse has been directed more at women than men, and as I keep saying in this world when people try to fix a wrong they do it by bypassing balance and going overboard. But in this case it's not that the ruling is wrong, more that it could be done for men as well, if men didn't have this tendency of not wanting to admit they are not the ones "wearing the pants " - this one fits huh? LOL - in the family. For each 25 women that will admit abuse, there will be maybe 1 man that will if at all. The truth is, my friend, women were - and still are in many parts of the world - treated as second class citizens, by the governments, their leaders and even worse their families , their husbands. THey had specific roles that no man would take, house chores, taking care of the kids, cooking, and often still work outside the home as well. The way it used to go was that the husband would do his 8 hours of work and come home expecting the wife to bring the his slippers, maybe a little snack, cook dinner, serve it give the best bit to the husband - that worked all day and deserves it - wash dishes, give a bath to the kids, tidy up etc etc etc. THat's the traditional role, it didn't even matter if the wife had been working the same 8 hours at her own job. Being a woman she still had to come home and do all that as if she couldn't be as tired as the husband upon getting home. Sadly, this is still expected of women, even the ones that thing they're completely emancipated, and free from those traditional roles. The good news is that many men are now finally learning about that 4 letter word : Team. Many finally noticed that specially when both work outside, what needs to be done at home or with the children needs to be done by both, and not only one. The bad news is that it is still some time until balance is reached.

Husbands are supposed to obey the orders of their wives? That's hilarious! Sure a loving husband would do or give what his wife wants, that which is reasonable. He shouldn't just do it mindlessly. A husband should know how to think and make important decisions. Otherwise how can he be head of the family?

Gone are the days when women folk where slaves to their husband. The modern woman is well aware of her rights and also utilize them when required. However, I do not think that married men are at a disadvantage except that some girls who want a fling without attachment prefer married men to single and ready to mingle guys. Marriage is an equal partnership and with woman working in the office too it is only fair to share the responsibilities.

Ahhhhhh heart touching topic Dear Dpk. what can a POOR HUSBAND say on this issue. what if his wife read this??? then??? dont u know the consequences????

Maybe you can sue her for "Husband Emotional Abuse". -just a joke- Not all women will be like this, -especially not all carrier woman will be like this- only a small part of women may have this; depending on how she was raised in her family, how the community or system -friends, relatives, neighbors, you named it- around treated her, and how she absorbed from her life experience and shaped on her personality in her future life. If she saw (was raised) by looking of many emotional attacks towards her gender in her childhood, such as, how her father badly-treated her mother emotionally. That would probably brings her to form her emotional to reject on accepting this treatment in the future. It will also give an impact to her family, should if her husband (or her son) "likely" gives her the similar treatment like what she saw in past time. This woman needs to find an extremely patience husband who's willingly to neglect most of his masculine side to preserve the marriage with her. Some, but not all, men may have another purpose to stand on their marriage, usually kids come as the first priority. Their relationship is based on duty and money concerning, it's less for love concerning from her husband, unless in bed. Again, we accept the appearance of these couples in our community. But not all women, -especially carrier ones- will treats her husband with this way.

I don't know about that, lol, I may be biassed but I don't think men are in a disadvatageious position at all. I guess it also depends what country you reside in also, as each country has different values and beliefs. In Australia I still feel that men are the more dominant ones in marriage, just from what I have heard. I think also it is alot harder these days for women to juggle work, cleaning and looking after the kids, that is 3 full time jobs there. I don't think that women use this in their power either, I think it just gives them a bit more independence as they are also the bread winners not just the males. I prefer to live in the present moment not the past as I would not personally like a marriage where the husband is the sole bread winner and I was the housewife. So I tend to disagree with you on this topic my friend. It is also hard for alot of women if the marriage breaks down as they are usually the ones that have to be on their own looking after their kids and working.

Husbands don't "obey the orders of their wives". I do not think this is so. You make it seem like the woman is dominating the husband. There might be some cases of this happening but I think that wives are still put in the same role as they were years ago. In fact, since husbands are mostly the ones who earn, the wives are quite dependent on them. They stay at home to cook and clean and look after the kids and the husband. As for the laws, it came about to protect the women since most of the time husbands took advantage of them and mistreated them. It doesn't mean that wives can go to court for just about anything. However, I believe that marriage should not be like this. It should be a cooperative effort by both the husband and the wife. Nobody should be dominating the other. Nobody should be the boss.

Yep i do think that they are in the disadvatageious position to some extent after the marriage as they have some other responsibilities that are binding men from several things and even they are bounded to several customs,commitments of life and even loss freedom to take the decisions independently.A single man has the better chances to think and do the best while such thing is not with them when got married as they have to consider the partner now even before taking some decisions and the steps.So in my opinion a single man is better than the other got married.

If this is between two people, then no, I would say that both husband and wife are on equal footing. A marriage is about sharing the responsibilities, amongst other things. You make decisions collectively as a team or at least after discussing it with your partner. You share burdens together. This sounds like the ideal but it is what a lot of couples are or at least strive to be. In my case, my husband brings home the bacon and gives me an allowance plus ensures that I'm protected, cherished and happy. In exchange, I care for his needs and home. How society sees a marriage and the exchange of responsibilities/duties is a different story. It depends on where you are from and what your culture thinks about men, women & marriage. Come to Malaysia and you'll see that married men are in an advantageous position - a lot of married women aren't really protected by the law when it comes to divorce, alimony and child support. It is a patriarchal society more than anything else. If you're a Muslim, it is even possible to have four wives IF your first wife approves, IF you can afford to care for all of them, IF you don't have sons and want a son - but naturally, as per everything in this world, there are ways of getting around these If-s. A lot of Muslim women are trying to campaign for better protection by the Syariah (Muslim law) because their non-Muslim sisters like myself are better protected by civil law. These two laws are separate and the last time I followed any case, people were told that Muslims only follow Syariah and non-Muslims only stick to civil law - no criss cross allowed!

That's not how it works in my marraige. My husband and I are equal partners. All decisions are made by the two of us, all household chores and outside chores are done by both of us, and we share in the raising of our kids. I don't tell him what to do and he doesn't tell me what to do. I also don't use the fact that I am working to get him to do my bidding. We both work and we both take care of the home and family.

Marriage is all about understanding between the two and naturally when even women have become working then naturally sharing of responsibilities is required. But in our country that is India it is the men who are prieveleged, even if there wife is working they never share household responsibilities with the wife so it becomes even more strenuous for a working lady to cope up with life.

I think woman should be in equal position to man, not lower or higher. I will assume my responsibilities take care of the house and my husband but he will also have to assume his. If it's earning money I believe man or woman supposed to receive the same pay if they have the same skills, abilities, and seniority level at work. Whatever factors the company use to decide salary or wages, have to be applied to both genders. In marriage though I will be devoted to him if he is devoted to me. I don't like cheaters or backstabbers in any kind of relationship, friendship, marriages, brothers sisters etc So I basically treat everyone the same, not just because he is my husband. I don't think there is law here that allows certain gender to win all the time. Injustice happens everywhere to everyone, not because of their genders. I don't know though about other countries.

I have to be honest and say that I am an old-fashion woman and I believe that God made things the way that they are for a reason. Not to down women, because I am one. But God made us more of the nurturing type. We should be at home making sure that the kids are alright. Cooking and cleaning and tending to the house. I am not a women's lib type of woman. I think that women got a raw deal when they went into the work force anyway. Now they pretty much work inside and outside the home.

Nope, im in no position for that one...well nor di di c any1 do so nor even heard about it here. May b its very very rare...but the domination of a husband and the wife being dealt like that ia comon and is going on and will still go on....

yes i think there is some truth to this as nowadays because of the education awareness has also risen and because of that they know that if their husbands do stray then they can do quite a bit about their lives.Yes friend i have myself seen many wiveSs doing that to their husbands.The stage reaching to divorce as well....Finally women have found their voice. HAVE A NICE DAY