How do you deal with a person being late constantly?

I have to deal with the same problem with my aunt...Every since I can remeber she has NEVER been on TIME for anything!My whole family fusses at diners because she always is slow and we have to wait to eat until she comes in...My aunt use to take me to the doctors before I started driving and she made me late so many times the doctor would not see me no more...If someone knows they need to be some where at a certain time they should try their best...Sounds like your dad did not even try to be on time...So I can see why your upset with him..

This sounds like my sisters they are always late so we started eating without them yes it made them upset,but if you have been being late for years don't you think you should change? I always try to be early cause the early bird catches the worm. You get the best seat, you get better gifts if you are somewhere that is giving away gifts you get the freshest foods. As for your father-in-law if he offers don't accept because he has no care if you or late because its not him.Even if he offers he thinks he is doing you a favor so you have to do things his way and plus it makes you upset because you don't want to be late and by the time you get to your appointment you will be counting to 30 to calm down.

I have this issue with my hubby all the time. Hes never late for work but when I need him hes always late. Like out ultrasound he was late it was over when he got there luckily the lady was nice and showed him the baby quick when he got there I was so mad hed be late for that.

Hi cream97! I think if he always do that to me almost everytime, I would not be asking any favor from him at all. Even if he would offer his services or whatever, I would not accept anymore. It is not just worth the stress and frustrations i would always have and feel. And of course, I will give him a taste of his own medicine. I will be fashionably late when it is my turn to show up when he is the one I am going to meet. Take Care and God Bless! Happy Mylotting!

If there is no good reason for being late, and he just decided to eat when he should have been picking you up, I think that is not just inconsiderate but it is rude and insulting to you. It is as if he thinks you are not important, or are less important than he is. In future, if you need collecting at four o'clock you should tell him to pick you up at half past three, or earlier, then maybe he will turn up nearer to the right time.

I am always late. It never fails, and it doesn't matter how hard I try to plan and make sure I get there on time, something happens and I end up late. I can probably count the number of times I've been on time to anything on my hands, and the times I've actually been early on my toes. So, to answer your question, people who are close to me now know to tell me about upcoming things as if they start 15 minutes to a half hour before they actually do. I still don't always make it on time, but it seems to be working, I may end up 5 minutes late instead of a half hour! Maybe you could try that with your father-in-law. If you need him to give you a ride to an appointment at say 2 pm, you can tell him the appointment is at 1:30. Or if you're moving furniture and he offers to help, tell him you want to get started by 11 and you'll feed him lunch afterward. But don't really plan to get started till 12. Just a suggestion:)

I don't know your father-in-law, but it almost sounds like he's being passive-aggressive like he just doesn't want to help you. Either that, or he's really inconsiderate and selfish. I don't know if I would rely on him for doing these types of things if you can help it. Perhaps you can ask someone else. One thing you can do is tell them that you have to be at a place earlier than you actually do. That way, you won't be late. And, on the odd chance that you are early, you can do some other errands in the area.

My mother tends to be the same way. I hate how people are constantly late, it really bugs me. If you have something to do, and you know that it needs to be done, you need to be on time, plain and simple. I'm always on my mother's case to hurry up but sometimes it's rather hard to get her moving. I've found that constantly staying behind her helps keep her on track.

I always came on time. Some years ago I went to a meeting with my partner we desided to meet near coffe shop before very important meeting. My partner never be on time so I asked him this time to be on time becouse we have very important meeting, he promissed me that he'll be there on time,becouse I know him Itald him that if he'll not be on time I'M GOING BY MYSELF AND CAN GO HOME.What you think happend? He did not be there on time so I went to that meeting by myself.Hope that I answered you.

Well the only thing to do is to ask him to pick you up an hour befor you need to be! It sounds like he cant be bothered, when it suits him he will do it. Some people dont want to help others,I wouldnt bother with him. He would make me very angry he seams very lazy. I feel sorry for you.

This is that same FIL that has the respect issues we discussed the other day right? It seems that these respect issues spread out into other areas of his life as well. Again this is about respect. He does not respect you or your needs but he expects you to respect him and his needs. If you can't help but need to ask for his help then you might try telling him the time you need him is 30 minutes before you actually do. In this way he will still feel like he is late and you might get there on time. I had to do this with my sister. She was always late. She just didn't manage her time well. So if I told her that I had to be somewhere 30 minutes before I actually did then she would get me there on time. :) I think it is bigger than this with your FIL. I think he has a real self centered attitude and has no respect for others. If you can avoid asking him for help I would but if you can't you might have to be a little tricky about it.

Iv been facing this problem all throughout my life, but solving it has been pretty easy for me. Know how? For example, if a particular activity is scheduled at 9PM sharp, simply tell the expected late-comers that the activity will be starting at 8pm, depending on how late one used to be..So, simple!

its very irritating to wait unnecessaily.its better 2 teach him a lesson but often elderly people turn a deaf ear 2 suggestion so its all on our patience

Let him know,who is a painful thing... she points to one hour....

it sreally annoys me vry much. i am always a person who is very much punctual. i can't stand this. i may tell him once or two, klater i will nebver depend on him.

It sounds like he is self-centered and he thinks that his time is more important than everyone else's. I hate that in a person. I am always on time and, on the rare occasions that I am going to be late, I will call ahead and make sure that whomever is waiting for me knows. I feel like it is saying to the person, I don't really care about you so, I'll get there when I feel like it because I am the most important person in the world and people need to understand that they need to wait for me, not the other way around. I hate that! I have worked with people like that and had friends like that. It is rude, inconsiderate and, in my opinion, being a bad friend or family member. I don't know how to deal with it. I guess, just stop being there for him and when he asks why you never help him anymore, tell him it is because he doesn't value you and your time so, why should you value his. Or, when you do agree to help him, be late and give him a taste of his own medicine. He will probably yell at you but, keep doing it and, when he yells at you, just remind him of the last time he pulled the late stunt on you and how much it bothered you too. Hopefully, given enough times of tasting his own medicine, he will learn his lesson and become a person who arrives at things that are important to others, on time!

cream it looks to me like your father in law has a big problem giving you the respect you deserve. I would not fool around with him any longer but have a blunt heart to heart telling him you do not likebeing treated like he treats you. if he promises to pick you up he should be on time so you can get to your appointment in a timely manner. I would not worry to much about hurting his feelings as he does not seem to worry about hurting yours.

If someone is constantly late then I ask them to be on time, if they are not on time then I start to tell them the wrong time. If they are usually 30 minutes late then I tell them to be somewhere 30 minutes earlier than I actually want them to be there. Sometimes I start being late to see if they like it and then they may understand how it feels to be standing around waiting.

I dont have to deal with them coz actually m one of them :P

hey ur father-in-law may just not have adjusted to u and he may require time....take him out for dinner and discuss this with him..make him feel that u love him and that u r not his daughter-in-law but like his daughter...