Ok your Married...Now what?

I've been married 5 years now, and up until recently, I've hated my life. It has nothing to do with my marriage really, it has a lot more to do with my hormones and the stress of raising 5 children. I had severe PPD after my twins, then had 2 unplanned pregnancies which totally threw my body and hormones off. Now I'm getting more with it, and am straightening my life up, and I'm happy about that. What would I change? Well, other than the kids I would change the debt. We each had debt coming into this marriage, and it's still with us today, but much harder to pay off. I think we should have dealt with it seperatly on our own prior to living together and getting married. Other than that, I really didn't picture what life was supposed to be like after marriage. I am happy with what I have, and other than my finances, I can't think of a thing I'd change.

Speaking as one who was divorced after 19 yrs of marriage, you'd better start right now to make it better. Figure out exactly what you want out of it--more romance? More emotional support, or more fun? It won't change unless you make it so. Marriage was very different from what I expected, mostly because I married a man who didn't really love me, he was in love with the idea of marriage and family and I didn't realize that till too late. Start by changing the things you aren't happy with--if you want more romance, be more romantic. Make plans to go out together on a regular basis without the children, do things you did when you were dating. Sabotage the TV. Anything. Just start changing things-and yourself-right away before it gets worse. I wish you luck!

I think this is commom for most of the people. I too am a part of them. I had something very different about marriage in my mind and it all changed when i actually got married. My life would have been a very happy one if i had no mother in law. She is a complete nuisance in my life and is always trying to play foul games.

I have been married thirteen years now and waited until I was 30 until I actually got married (my wife is the same age). Speaking for myself, I was ready (as ready as you can be) to be married and it has not disappointed me (can't speak for my wife though!) I had no fantastic expectations of marriage, and am pretty happy with the way things have worked out. We did not set out with the intention to have a family, but we have a little girl, and I for one am extremely happy about that! I guess it boils down to what you expected from marriage in the first place and whether you have tried to pursue your goals within the framework of marriage.

It's funny that you ask this question, because I was just thinking about this myself earlier on today. :) I have been married 7 years this year next month, and was pondering about my life and where it is today. I wouldn't of imagined I would be here in USA after living in New Zealand most of my life, then Samoa for 6-7 years and now here. Even married with a son :) I am very happy (even though I feel tired) where I am today and don't think I would change anything. My husband loves his job and I have never seen him more happier and the fact he travels a lot, is exciting for him too (and us as well). My son loves his school, has made friends and enjoys his life here too and I do enjoy being home during the week, and working in the weekends. It's taken a while to adjust to a new environment, from working full-time to being a stay at home mom, but even with the ups and downs, I really think it comes down to what we make of it. Because we were determined to make it work, despite being in a new country and not having family around us, I think we have done well thus far, and look forward to where this 'adventure' might take us next. It's not always hunky dory (fine) but we do what we can to get through it.

ROFL...I like that 'Ok your married...Now what?' that's cute. Let me see, No, no, no, no, no and yes. I wish we were a little more financially secure, but most people do I guess. The economy is awful. I am a woman of simple needs. As long as he comes home after work, I'm happy. I had one once that went everywhere but home.

I've been married almost 2 1/2 years. Yes time went so fast that I feel I just getting married 1 year ago. I did not realize back when I first met my wife that she would be the one for me. I feel that I've changed much and still willing to change my bad attitudes although it's not really easy for me to do but I will try my best for that. We've been quite happy with our daily lives although sometimes it becomes stormy ;)

If I had it all to do over again, I wouldn't do a single thing differently. My husband and I knew we were getting into it for better or worse, and we loved eachother from the very start. We've had our share of things to overcome, but mostly we've had a lot of really good times.

hey i am not married yet to suggest to speak about anything buy i like your attitude that everything happens for a reason i too have the same kind of attitude .. i try as hard as i can and leave the result to air.

I also didn't realize what had happened to me in my marriage life. I mean, this is not the life what i wanted before. But things come along the way. So the best thing to do is to do the best that you can do. Give the best for your partner. It is not our own that we should think of, it is us. I mean, you as partners are more important than one's self...

After 20 years of marriage ( which happened to just fly by) I remember it all as if it was yesterday, Lots of times you will find yourself in a rutt every 5 to 7 years wanting change, discuss this with the man you love and make changes and comprimizes that you are both happy with. Don't get hung up with he doesnt tell me he loves me everyday, they assume you know this, but instead try to catch that spark in his eye when he is looking at you. Oh yes ladies when they love you, you can catch that fire. Being a mom is great, but remember we are also a our own person remember to take the time you need to yourself this is very important. I never imagined myself having 5 children, raising them and having a professional career the whole time. We are a strong species but the key to it all is knowing when it is time for a change and to keep the communication with him open. I would not change anything! why would I? I look in the mirror and I am very happy with the person that I have become. The term My Better half doesnt exist in our home. We have changed that to my Equal half.

I love my husband and my family very much but I am not where I wanted to be when I got married. We own our own cars and furniture but the prospect of ever owning a house is out of the question. We both work full time and seem to be going nowhere. I feel cheated and sometimes get very angry with my husband even though I know it is not his fault.