Adoption vs. natural child birth

Hi! Nice discussion. well, I believe that if someone feels they can't love an adopted kid as much as a natural child, then I would say adoption wouldn't be good for that person. I think a adoptive parent can love an adoptive child as much as their own, and if they don't have that type of love to give then they shouldn't adopt. I don't have any plans on adopting since I have 3 children of my own and one on the way. in the past I have thought about foster parenting before I had the 3 I have now. maybe later down the line when my kids are older I can still look into that, who knows. if I did adopt, I do have a supportive family who I know would do everything to make the child(ren) feel loved and as much a part of the family as my other kids and any other person in our family. if they were the type of family who were not supportive, it wouldn't change my mind. I have never been one to let others opinions keep me from something that I really want. a lot of these kids don't even know what family is, what being loved feels like. that breaks my heart and for the people who do have big enough hearts to take in these children and love them as their own and show them what family is and what love feels like, I applaud them. they are very special people (as close to an angel as you can get).

Personally I don't want kids, never have done. However, if I ever did get broody (heaven forbid... I'd make a terrible mother and I know it) I would much rather adopt. There are hundreds of thousands of children that need a loving home. Why make another little life when I could SAVE one? I have very strong beliefs on this, and they go against the current 'have your cake and eat it' social mentality. I would prefer that, rather than people trying to have children that they adopt first a foremost. I certainly do not like IVF; if you can waste that much money and time conceiving why not spend it on saving an already born child? Human nature? Hormones? The biological imperative to pass on your own DNA? I've never felt it to such a degree it takes over my rationale*... so it comes under one of those many things I don't understand about people because I've never experienced it. *My partner says it is rational to want to pass on your DNA if you believe that your genetics are worth passing to the next generation. As my genetics are somewhat flawed I do not find it imperative to pass them on.

I think actually one takes a chance with children whether they are adopted or not. Natural biological children can develop just as many health problems as adopted ones, so that shouldn't shun people from wanting to adopt children. As for me? If I did adopt children and the reaction friends or family might have? In my opinion, who cares..it would be my decision not theirs and their opinion wouldn't bother me at all

My son and his wife might adopt. They have one but my daughter in law has heart problems and it might be difficult for her to have another one. My daughter married a man with custody of his kids. The first day I met them I asked them if I could also be their grandmother. I love them just as much as I love my other grandkids and they are treated equally.....so in a sense they were adopted by our family. And the best part is.....they love me too!

Of course it's very different when you adopt another's child and bear your own child. But when it comes to loving the child, I believe it's up to the minds and hearts of the parents. Some parents may love their own child more than their adopted one. While some love their adopted child more than their own child. If the parents are quite sure of their feelings and mindsets regarding the adoption of another child, then I don't see the point in questioning their love for that child. Whatever happens to that child, they would accept it and continue loving the child despite his/her defects if ever there will be.

Honestly I dont believe it is the fact of loving another child more, I believe you love them differently. When I met my husband he always said he would love my boys like his own, then when the time came and we had more children he confessed he cant love them the same it is different but he doesnt love them any less. This is when actions show a different bond between biological and not yours. He is my boys dad, and my boys are his sons never once have they said this is my step son/father.

Adoption is a great option for those who cannot bear children of their own, however I have always felt the desire to be a mother and have my own children. But that does not mean that I wouldn't ever consider adopting a child. If I ever were to decide to adopt a child, it would obviously be a family decision. And too bad to anyone else that didn't like it.