The Myth of Comprimise.
By ParaTed2k
@ParaTed2k (22940)
Sheboygan, Wisconsin
May 16, 2008 9:47am CST
When people talk about "comprimise" in a society, what are they really saying? Usually they mean, "give up your standards and agree with me".
Comprimise is talked about as if it's a good thing, but it's not. In fact, I can't think of one good thing in history that came out of comprimise.
We are at our best when we stand for what we believe, not when we give in to someone else.
So, how do we co-exist without comprimising? It isn't easy, but it is a better way of doing things. It means that we all work towards our standards for ourselves, and when we can, we help others do the same.
In Congress, we hear the word "comprimise"; usually in a good way, but it rarely means anything good. What should happen is each member has their say on the issue at hand, then each member votes their conscience. What happens in "comprimise" is a few influential members pressure the rest. So how are the people or state represented? We're not. All that happened is the standards of the members who changed their vote were comprimised.
So, don't comprimise just to please others. Don't lower your standards just to get along. We need to be accepting of others as people, but that doesn't mean we have to adopt their standards "just to get along".
1 person likes this
6 responses
@Myrrdin (3599)
• Canada
16 May 08
Well with everything extremes are bad, and this is true with compromising to the extreme as well. If you compromise on every issue you there is no progress. Everyone must compromise sometimes. If no one compromised we would be at constant war with each other because no two people believe exactly alike. Compromising doesn't always mean lowering ones standards, but rather finding a middle ground between two extremes.
I do agree however that often society puts compromises up on a pedastil and worships it a little too much and people (especially politicians) should be more free with what they actually believe.
1 person likes this
@ParaTed2k (22940)
• Sheboygan, Wisconsin
16 May 08
How is society helped if everyone is just trying to find "the middle ground". The "middle ground" is just the point where someone has given in to someone else.
1 person likes this
@ParaTed2k (22940)
• Sheboygan, Wisconsin
16 May 08
War only breaks out if two entities decide to go to war. War isn't even the logical outcome, so why bring it up?
What is the problem with everyone having their say, and work towards their ideals, instead of going the lazy way and just expecting everyone to "agree" on the lesser of two evils?
1 person likes this
@redyellowblackdog (10629)
• United States
16 May 08
Your topic reminds me of the famous meeting between President Bill Clinton and the Pope. They discussed abortion among other things. A reporter asked the President whether or not the conversation concerning abortion had accomplished anything. Bill Clinton replied that yes, the conversation had been useful and the 2 of them were now closer in agreement on the subject of abortion than before. In other words, they had compromised!
Of course, a reporter then asked the Pope about this. Ever polite, instead of just calling Bill Clinton a liar or coming right out and saying that Clinton was pi$$ing him off, the Pope merely said that if the 2 of them were now closer in agreement Clinton had moved his position to being closer to his as his was not changed.
That's liberal democratic compromise. I think it is similar to what you are speaking about.
1 person likes this
@ParaTed2k (22940)
• Sheboygan, Wisconsin
16 May 08
Exactly, with "compromise" one party has to give up what they believe just to "get along".
@Aussies2007 (5336)
• Australia
17 May 08
No offence... even so that your lenghty question and comments would offend most people...
I really don't think you are mature enough to have this conversation. Are you sure you are 45? If yes... from which forest are you coming out?
Compromise has nothing to do with giving up anything.
Compromising is a negociation between two parties or more... where each party give up something in exchange for something they want. Everybody wins.
With your selfish attitude of me... me... me... everybody lose... including you in the long run. Because nobody going to stick around you for very long with an attitude like yours.
Many wars have been averted in the past 60 years through compromising. Compromising was what the cold war was all about... and it prevented a third world war.
If married people knew how to compromise... there would be no divorce... or very little. Unfortunately... when it comes to married life... lots of people are like you... me... me... me.
@ParaTed2k (22940)
• Sheboygan, Wisconsin
19 May 08
I guess you buy into the myth that compromise is the same as coming to an agreement. It isn't.
Compromise is when someone gives in to someone else, and rarely is it a good thing. Decision making is when someone considers the facts, weighs the benefits and consequences and chooses what they consider the best choice.
In the end, both are actions based on decisions, but one is made to uphold standards while the other gives them up.
The myth of comprimise in marriage is one of the most destructive myths there is. It says that marriage can only work if one partner "gives in" to the other. It implies that one partner live their lives subserviant to the other.
What happens in honest, strong, real marriage is, two people make decisions together. One isn't asked to give up for the other one, but both agree what is best for the family they have created.
Compromise is the excuse used when one person is trying to justify decisions that go against their better judgement.
@ParaTed2k (22940)
• Sheboygan, Wisconsin
19 May 08
Keep believing that and you will be left with no standards of your own at all.
@Aussies2007 (5336)
• Australia
21 May 08
What's the problem with 2 people in a relationship acting independently of the other
The whole point of having a relationship is to be able to share your interests with someone and do things together... so as not to be lonely.
If you are going to go to the cinema by yourself... and tell your wife to go to the opera by herself... it defeats the whole purpose of the relationship. And if you don't see that... your wife probably will... and she will be looking for a new companion at the opera.
Men are really hopeless when it comes to relationships. Their selfishness is the cause of the breaking of relationship and marriage. You cannot have it both way. If you want to be free... stay single. Don't get a woman in order to treat her like your maid.
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
23 May 08
Actually I believe that compromise is a good thing. I'm not selfish so I don't have to have my way all the time. I can meet the other person halfway. If I want pizza for dinner and Hubby wants Chili...we compromise. We have one for lunch and the other for dinner. If I want to go to bed early and he wants to stay up...we compromise. We agree on a time that's halfway for both of us.
By always insisting on your own way, you become selfish and self centered. Ppl may begin staying away from you b/c you always have to have your own way.
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
@olivebranch56 (910)
• United States
18 May 08
There are things I think can be compromised, like the price of gas, food, living expenses, and what we pay some of these political idiots for sitting in Congress, and not representing the people who voted for them. If they want to coexist then do the things they promised to get my vote, otherwise, I will not be voting for them again. I agree with what you said here Ted, compromise to them means giving up our ideas, and if we don't want to then they try to silence us, or pacify us with more lies. I feel that the American people had better be listening very closely the next few months, we are being sold some swamp land, and a lot of people are buying deeds. Wake up America. Sorry Ted didn't mean to get so far off topic, but it just seemed to fit.
@ParaTed2k (22940)
• Sheboygan, Wisconsin
19 May 08
You weren't off topic at all. Compromise is often the lame excuse used by weak willed, or bought off politicians. We should never put up with a comprimising member of Congress. They are more trouble than they are worth.
In congress, each member is supposed to represent the people of their district or their state. Because of "compromise" all we have are a gaggle of members who represent no one except the powerful member they have compromised with.
@zigzagbuddha (4601)
• United States
21 May 08
I rarely compromise. People call me selfish and all kinds of other names too, but it doesn't phase me.
Just recently my sister bought a rider mower for our mother's lawn. I told her a rider mower was not appropriate for the yard, which is full of trees, bushes, obstacles and tight spaces to have to maneuver in and around... that what we needed was a mulching mower with a bag so we could not only make the job easier but would provide all the compost we could ask for for the garden. When she got the rider I refused to ever mow the lawn with it at all, she wants it so bad she can be the one to use it. And then lo and behold, I found a Toro mower with a bag in an abandoned house that is getting ready to be torn down, and it works! Best lawn mower I've ever used. Powerful, reliable, easy to start. Now we have both and no one even needed to compromise at all.
Hehehe, my two grown kids are taking some courses and they wanted to be in their classes together. They wanted to take a foreign language but my daughter wanted to take French and my son wanted to take German so they compromised and took Russian. Neither one of them is very happy with the arrangement.
@ParaTed2k (22940)
• Sheboygan, Wisconsin
22 May 08
Well, I meant compromising who you are, not little things like lawnmowers and language classes. However, your examples do show the problems of other kinds of compromise too.
