my first love

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it started when we were in 2nd year high school. were bestfriends. that time, i didn't know what happen, one day i woke up im in love with him, i tried to hide the feeling coz i dont want to destroy our friendship. until our last day of our years in high school. we went together to our friends to chill out and celebrate our upcoming graduation i got drunk and i confess my feelings. by then he told me also his feeling the same way. it was the most beautiful time of my life i felt like i was in heaven.. but it didn't end up a happy story coz even though we both confess and he wants me to his gf i know, i shouldn't let that happen. we went to college in same school, he got a new gf and i got a bf, after 2 months both of us coincidently broke up with our own relationships. second chance he courted me again since my feeling was still there i allow to have a relationship with him. it took 2 years for us to share our moments and love together.. i thought he would be the last man i will love, but its the other way around... i've discover that his ex and him become lovers again and the hardest part for me, he didn't have the courage to fight for our love, thats why till now, i have doubt to myself if he did love me or just for fun. the bitter feelings was still there i was so hurt badly that i didn't want to see him or even mention his name. it took 1 year for me to overcome. i wasn't dissappointed for having a failed relationship i just felt bad that if i didn't allow to have a relationship with him maybe.. maybe were still good friends right now............... Gosh... again after 5 years past as i tell the story here i can still feel the hurt that i once felt with him