will you show your tears for sum1 whos dying?!??

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i had this fren of mine...which recently diagnose stage 4 of brain cancer. we been out of reach since 2005...havent heard anything much from her... i thought shes been out of the country.just last week i recieved an email from her telling where she lives and she wanted to see me.i didnt expect her to see bedriden,almost bald and pale,she smile at me and hug me so tight,i told her...y she didnt told me bout this,and i been looking for her so long...she just said she dont have the courage to tell and accept shes dying already.i feel so hurt...knowing what shes going tru... she makes me promise that i shud not cry infront of her and on her funeral.she wants to see me smiling and just like the old times,she wants us to listen our faves songs eat our fave food etc...but everytime stop becoz her head aches,i cant stop my tears...i wanted to be brave,even to just pretend infront of her,but seems like my tears have there own thinking...it flows even i try not to cry... she will tell me again..."please dont cry,i want you to be glad,im coming to the paradise"and it will make me a cry again...