How do you reward your child when they've been good?

when my children do something good, i am mean above what i expect them to be, I will do something extra. i don't reward cleaning their rooms, i don't reward washing dishes, or doing things that they are suppose to do to make the home run more smoothly. but if they go out of their way to do more or extra i will reward them with a few bucks. I like to reward them with praise and hugs and kisses. which we do as a rule in my home anyway

When my daughter was 5, she picked up a stray cat, it was limping, & brought it home. At first, I wasn't too happy but she was only 5. I sat her down & was about to explain to her she shouldn't bring stray animals home, she just turned to me & said, "daddy, we should help the ones that can't help themselves, right? Look, kitty is hurt & I wanna help it get better..." I have no idea where she heard that from but what do you say to a 5 year old who tells you that? At that point, I was so proud of her. So I got down on my knees so I can look at her face to face & told her, "You know, honey! You make me proud everyday. And when I think you couldn't make me any more proud of you then I am, you go out & do one better"... Then I gave her a big hug & a kiss then told her, "thank you for making me a proudest & luckiest daddy in the world..." I know it was sortta corny thing to say but I think it was the biggest & the bestest thing she could hear from her daddy... She's been trying to top herself everyday since... She just turned 8 now...

I try not to use bribes at all costs. When we were first starting to potty train I resorted to bribing. We would spend lots and lots of time in the bathroom reading and painting her toenails. You name it if I could keep her on that potty long enough to pee or poop I did it. Right now I do rewards a little. She'll get a sticker or a special treat if she's stayed dry all day. And the days she's really well behaved we'll do something special like go to the park or go swimming. I try not to do a whole lot of rewards though. I think she should learn that she should behave all the time and not just to get a reward from it. I mainly just try to give her praises and encouragement.

I don't reward good behavior. But I will admit that I did in one particular area until I wised up and realized that it was going to get out of hand soon. My son used to kick and scream everytime I told him it was time to leave the park. I started offering him a cookie or something that he would receive when he was belted in his seat. He only did it at the park for the longest time. Then one day he did it when we were leaving a playdate and it occurred to me that I had perpetuated that behavior. I switched to acknowledging good behavior verbally. "Thank you for covering your nose when you sneezed", "I like it when you share with your friends", "You are such a good helper". To me, THAT is how they learn intrinsic motivation. The day they realize that it makes them proud of themselves when they make other people happy. My son loves to make my husband and I happy. I also look for opportunities when he is aware he is happy about something I did for him and I will say "I love to do things for you that make you happy". As for undoing the damage I did with rewarding bad behavior about leaving the park.... it took me some time, but I just started explaining to him before he ever got out of the car at the park that when I say it is time to leave we must leave or else we would not go to the park again the next day. (consequences) Also, telling him 5 more minutes and then we leave, 4 more, 3...... time to leave, really helped him think about making the right choice. Now we save the rewards for large things that are more like achieveing a goal than rewarding good behavior. For instance, he gets to play on the big computer with daddy when ever he poopies on the potty (something he is resisting even though he knows how). I don't think there is just a certain age that kids start behaving for the right reasons. I think they need it to be modeled for them. IMO

how about giving them a piece of candy? Kids always seem to like that. seriously though.

If I feel that they deserved to be rewarded, I give them something special or treat them in their favorite fastfood chain. Like for example, they got a perfect score in their quiz. I'm referring to my 2 grandkids. They are both smart and behave.

well i am not married and do not have any children... but i want to share something .... the ways i was rewarded for all i was made to do(mostly complete my home tasks).....a coin for each page i completed... i did not care for the denomination of the coin but ... but i really got happy for all the coins i accumulated. have a good day.

We don't give Elliott rewards for just regular good behavior. We just tell him that he did a good job, or that he is a good helper, etc. The only time we really used a rewards system was when we were potty training. We used stickers then, and when he filled up his chart, he could have a new toy. That was really about it, though. When he gets a little older, we will probably be giving rewards for certain tasks. That way he understands that he has to earn extra things, and that we won't just give him whatever he wants.

My little boy is really sweet. He likes a good hug as a reward for now. But when he grows older, a hug may not really be enough for a reward. sigh... Anyway, when he is really being good, I take him with me to the park. We eat icescream and hot cookies.

I have no kids but I guess rewarding the kids for the good deeds and behavior is not bad at all. Praising them also is very helpful to boost their morale.

You really didn't mention your daughter's age in your post but I am sure she is quite young. Being that young some children can be very egocentric and with some maturity they will come to realize that rewards aren't just a thing they get whenever they want it. I feel you should begin with not giving her tangible items rewards but use verbal praise instead. This process may help to wean her away from being so hung up on physical rewards.

Reinforcement of good attitudes should not always mean good treats or rewards. A simple praise should have been enough but I do agree that some, if not all kids, wants something tangible in return for every good deeds they do. My child also seeks tangible rewards but now, we are doing a point system where she has to behave for a period of time or refrain from eating "taho" (yogurt like soya food with sweetener) everyday and she'll get a treat from Jollibee or Mc Donalds on the weekend. I trade or bargain with her and I slowly make her realize that not every good deeds are rewarded as we expect it to be since sometimes, what she expects as good may be harmful to others. The psychosocial development of a child varies depending on their exposure to the environment. I don't use reward that much so my child don't expect that much too. She's 5 year old now but she's in extreme, sometimes she is really nice but there are times when she's really mean.

Give a hug and kiss then treat her to her favorite food chain then buy something she really wants.

I give hugs and kisses...all the time. I don't reward with a toy or treat. My daughter rarely wants anything. I'll admit, I want everything for her. She's only two so I normally tell her when she has done something that mommy is proud of and I tell her why I am proud. I will also tell her when she has done a no no and I will explain why it was wrong. But I don't reward with hugs and kisses...those are given 24/7, even if I have to chase her down! LOL!!

You want her to be good for intrinsic reasons, not extrinsic rewards, so when she is good, start NOT giving her a reward, but give her attention, instead. Ask her if it feels good to get into a comfortable bed. Talk with her about how she would feel if someone big and huge picked her up by the legs. Give her the cookie or the toy at another time, when she has not done anything to deserve it at all, just because you love her. You have started rewarding the behaviors and now you have to unteach those expectations.

I don't want to give many material things for my son. As I am afraid it will spoil him. I will buy him some gifts when I see something good for him. And there is no reason for it. When my child does something good, I will praise him. And sometimes I will give him a big hug. I love China

Maybe you started that way. The same you did with your other kids. Slowly dont give her rewards. At first she will not like it but later she will ge used to it. As if youre bribing them. And let her understand that good deeds need not be rewarded always.

I will allow them to play with a favorite toy, that makes a lot of noise. I will let them have a nutritious snack. I will praise them with positive words and I will hug and kiss them and tell them good job! If it is a weekend, I will let them stay up a little longer. Sometimes we will go out to eat..

My kids are still young. But, they seem to really appreciate hugs, kisses, "I'm so proud of you"... they just really value the praise. I don't really reward them with material things. When I do buy things for them I might say "I have a surprise for you, as long as you've been good." But, I usually give it to them, anyways. I have more than one child, so when I praise one the other sees this and wants the same thing. So, they might try to do things to get a good boy/good girl from me. It often amazes me how loving and, at the same time, selfish kids can be. The character and values have to be instilled in them. And, it is such a pleasing moment when they show you that they can think beyond the 'it's all about me' stage. Like when one tries to comfort the other when they are sad.. it's picture perfect.

i reward for over and above type things. like doing well on a test or improving in an area where he may be lacking. he knows bad behavior begets nothing and good behavior is expected but i do use bribes which child psychologists and behaviorists say is ok to do to make life eaiser. i prefer to call them incentives though.