Does your kid throw tantrums if they don't get their way?
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
United States
May 19, 2008 11:30am CST
My little kid is ordinarily an angel. I feel so blessed to have her here on planet earth and in my life. I count every lucky star in the heavens when I see her face. But, there are some days that she is a real terror.
Like yesterday, she woke up demanding cookies. Normally she takes a simple "No!" for an answer and goes on about her day. But, her Daddy was off work and so she asked him for the cookies instead. I told her she couldn't have a cookie until she had eaten some real food. And, that's when she started screaming and pitching a real fit. I was afraid the neighbors would call the police.
She was so very upset for a long time. And, finally she got her cookie. I can't believe that I gave in like that. Most times, I have a resolve made of pure steel. And, nothing phases me. But I just wanted her to stop crying and screaming for a cookie. Good thing we weren't in public or I would have bought her a box of cookies on the spot to stop the tantrum.
I know that giving into a tantrum is not the wisest long term strategy. I need help, suggestions and ideas for dealing with a similar situation in the future. Now, that she's gotten away with using tantrums to get her way, I'm sure more tantrums are sure to follow? Please help!
4 people like this
12 responses
@shantiquarian (146)
• United States
9 Aug 08
My kids knew better but their kids are horrible about tantrums.
1 person likes this
@p_vadla (1685)
• India
20 May 08
The idea of children throwing tantrums to get their way is common. It is one way for them to become assertive in the growth process. But excess of it can perhaps is not a good idea.We, the parents are also equally responsible for making them so. In the name of love sometimes we let our angels exceed their quota of behavior.I try to discuss things with my child patiently if it is necessary for him to go for some thing that is making them throw tantrums.What if I deny him and what if not, would surely make him think rationally and maturely at their own age.But it is a slow process to bring about a change.
1 person likes this
@carlaabt (3504)
• United States
19 May 08
My son went through a phase when he was about 1.5 or so where he threw fits a lot. We just ignored the fit, and eventually he stopped. I would move him if I was afraid he was going to get hurt, otherwise I just let him continue to throw the fit. I always told him when he calmed down we could do something else, and then went on my way. Of course I always stayed where I could see him, but if he saw that I was doing something else (wiping down the counter, putting stuff away, etc), he usually came over to see what I was doing and the fit was over. It might not work for an older child, though.
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
19 May 08
Actually that's a really good tip! My spouse keeps telling me to distract her with another activity. But, when the moment arrives, my brain freezes and I sort of lock up and don't know what to do. I will try your suggestions.
@crazylady (470)
• United States
20 May 08
My almost 3 yr old rarely has a tantrum and when he does its more of a meltdown from not getting a nap. I just carry him to his room and tell him to stay in there till he is ready to come out and be nice. He immediately follows me out hugging me.
1 person likes this
@kezabelle (2974)
•
19 May 08
Yup been through it with our first she is 4 and they dont happen anymore, our second is only 2 and she still has them. I ignore them sit her down on the floor make sure she is safe and leave her to it, I dont give in and I dont speak to her until she stops screaming no matter how long that takes! I wont reward a tantrum by giving any recognition that its happening no attention anything.
She has soon learnt that tantrums dont work and while we get them they are pretty short and easy to ignore now a days. I do find it hard while out and about but I just strap her in the buggy and carry on.
What ever you choose to do, do it and stick to it be consistant as any time you change how you deal with it or give in just makes things worse and shows them that if they do it long enough mum/dad will give in, its worth making sure anyone who cares for her knows how you deal with it and follows it also consistency is the key to anything like this with children.
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
14 Jun 08
That's a really good point about consistency. I am not strong on that. I will try harder to be more consistent so that she knows I mean business. Thanks!
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
19 May 08
Both my kids are teens now so tantrums are long since a thing of the past but even when they were little tantrums didnt happen too often becuase I didnt put up with it...Not from my kids or anyone elses kids in my life be it a relative or friends child etc..
@yellowhipon (793)
• Philippines
20 May 08
i dont have a kid but i've experienced taking care of my younger brother and my nephew. Whenever they throw fits, I pull them aside, put them on my lap and talk to them. I dunno, but it always works.
@beccrook (13)
• United States
19 May 08
I have a three yr old who likes to try my patience with a tantrum and I will just send him to his room and he is not aloud to come down until he settles himself down.Sometimes it can last 2 or 3 min other times it can last 10 min or more. I try not to give in and when he is settled down we talk about it and come to some sort of agreement, I try to make him think about his choices. With little ones this may not work just yet, but I hope to help my son learn something about the choices he makes.
@vicneedscoffee (1259)
• United States
20 May 08
My daughter is now 12, but we didn't have many temper tantrums. I either ignored them and went about my business or if it became too much she got a time out.
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
31 Dec 08
I know that I have given in to the guilt and have gone and given my son something that he wanted or let him do something that he wants to do in order to curtail the crying and screaming.
He is actually five years old now and still gets upset if I change a channel on television from a cartoon he was watching.
I usually let him cry for a little bit and eventually he starts to play with other things.
Sometimes you might need to let the crying and whining go for a little while and then they might get the hint that the tantrum won't get them their way.
