I don't know what to do, please help

South Africa
May 19, 2008 5:49pm CST
I get along quite well with my girlfriend. We don't argue and generally accommodate each other. The problem is that this has become a stagnant situation. There is nothing exciting happening and so I'm getting bored. How can I liven things up and add a bit of zing again? I also have the problem of having to negotiate around her parents each time I want to take her out somewhere (before anyone asks, I'm 18, she's 16) and since I'm getting bored I start to wonder if it is all really worth it. I think the main problem here is introduced by her being part of quite a close family unit and I can't relate because I am pretty much indifferent to the majority of my family.
1 person likes this
4 responses
• Philippines
20 May 08
sorry if its still me. you can try thinking what's wrong maybe. if its you or her. if its her then you should maybe ask her how she thinks about the matter or how she really feels now for the both of you. my boyfriend used to do the same text messages everyday and i got bored with it. nothings exciting already. try changing something. maybe cook for her, tell her things you never used to say before, do the things you don't get used to but you know would make her feel more loved. 3 years is quite long time knowing each other maybe right now you should talk about something else. future plans, things you like to do, your dreams, something that would be interesting enough to open a good conversation and can make her open up to you. it works for us. hope it works on you too. good luck. anything just pm me. ok. don't worry i believe everything's gonna be fine soon.
• Philippines
21 May 08
does she likes eating? do you know how to cook her favorite food? have you ever cooked for her. you can try it. then while eating try telling funny stories simple but you know could make her at least smile. or you can watch a new movie that she likes. if you're accompanying her home you can try telling some stories she would be interested with or tell her what you plan for the weekend for the both of you. or you can try this one i think this works many times for me. try to study the things that she liked about that you don't really know well. then tell her the latest news about it. i think this opens a good conversation. liking the things that she used to will make her feel better.
• South Africa
20 May 08
Don't worry about the double post. If you were saying the same thing twice it would be a problem but you are actually just being really helpful. I like the idea of changing things except I don't know what to change. I'm not the best at thinking of things like that. Can you give me some examples of good things to do just when I see her on a day to day basis?
• Philippines
20 May 08
i used to experience the same thing before. i almost thought we're gonna break up that time. but because i care enough for our relationship to be wasted. i talked to him. i told him how i feel. and how are things happening between us. we talked about it and figured out what's lacking in our relationship. i think it is better to talk about it with your girlfriend first before breaking up. maybe you could still fix things out. and who knows you could still save the relationship. we're now 5 years in relationship, and whenever we feel cold of each other we always tell the other so we can talk about it. hope this would help a little.
• South Africa
20 May 08
I just read your responses now (I've been out all today) but oddly enough, we did talk about it a bit earlier. It is comforting to hear that you have gone through the same thing and it turned out ok. I think that the thing which is lacking is excitement. It feels like we are stuck in a repetitive cycle.
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
19 May 08
Maybe it is time that you both move on, at 18 and 16 I would say you have many more adventures to discover in the future, all relationships slow down a bit after awhile but at 16 and 18 things should be exciting still...I hope you work it out.
• South Africa
20 May 08
I've thought the same thing a few times but I don't want it to end. I can't help the feeling that maybe if I had a bit more free time I could salvage things. I'm quite a bit more swamped at the moment with a few things ending in the school exams in June. Hopefully if I just hold out until then I can somehow spice things up in the holidays, otherwise it might have to be time to move on. It was great for a long time though... Thanks for the advice.
@deedeehall (1144)
• United States
4 Dec 08
maybe being bored is not only the problem but you are still very young and need to get out and live life a little this is probably what you are feeling .give it a rest go out there and live life if it is real love it will wait until later.