The disadvantage of a working mother.
@celestial052506 (2914)
Philippines
May 20, 2008 2:51am CST
I have three kids now. Since my first kid was born I am a working mother. I discovered that if the kids was cared only by a yaya or a helper, their relationship to you as mother is not good. Last month, my baby sitter go home and said that she will not come back anymore. My baby for the first to second week of loosing her got sick. I think she miss her yaya and she is crying every night looking for her even i am in her side she dont want me all she cried out is her yaya. So for me, its not good for our kids to be cared of other people than you.. we must give time for them.
How can we solve this situation, if we, parents, are all working and we left our kids to our househelper? Is there any idea?
1 person likes this
9 responses
@eihdra (3115)
• Philippines
20 May 08
That's one of the main reasons why I stayed home after giving birth to my first son. I would like to go back to work but circumstances paved the way. I have friends who worked 9-5 and have kids left to their yaya's or helpers and end up crying whenever their kids doesn't want to bond with them. Much to their dismay, their kids were much too attached to the nannies. So, when I got pregnant, I decided to be a hands-on mom. First because when I was a kid, I was also left with my nanny and I don't want my kids to experience it.Second, I waited for a long time to have a baby and I dont want someone else to take care of him.
My solution was to find a job that won't let me be far away from my kids. I'm at home doing beadworks and selling them to my friends and small gift shops.I consigned clothes and accessories to some boutiques and malls.
You can learn how to make frozen products like tocino or longaniza and others. Or you can find online jobs like data entry, typing or blogs. Your kids would surely benefit a lot when you're at home and soon you will reap the rewards of having to see your kids grow up properly because you are the one training them to be good persons.
1 person likes this
@celestial052506 (2914)
• Philippines
20 May 08
You're a good mother! I like your idea. You are right... its not good for our kids will left with helpers because they don't care about their future. But there are also yaya's who are good and loyal to you. They treat the kids like their own kid... but its hard to find.
Thanks for the response, i like it. Good luck!!!
@022807 (27)
• Philippines
25 May 08
u need to have a bonding time, for example every night before going to bed.. or train ur baby be on ur side in sleep time,, i know ur situation is not easy,, i cant explain hows u feel coz im a mother also of a 1 year old baby girl,, but im in my home only.. thats why i have a full time to my baby.
try to have a wonderful weekend,then ur baby wait u for the week end, she feels excited when week end is near and talked to ur yaya to explain to ur baby why ur not in ur home. i hope u understand my english!
@celestial052506 (2914)
• Philippines
25 May 08
Well, I am trying my best to have boding with my children at night but the problem sometimes is I am too tired when I get home and most often, they are already in bed. when mother is working, it si really hard to be with the kids all the time. I am always worried specially when the kids are sick.
I couldn't imagine how other mothers did it? while they are working they were able to care their household at the same time? that must be a hard work!!!
Thanks for sharing.
@amnher (290)
• Philippines
24 May 08
if you are a single parent i know that you should have to work to earn money for your family. i know that it s hard to work when you are leaving the house and your children. So i think that you should go and find someone who can take care your family...Even though they have yaya you should always put your attention to them
1 person likes this
@celestial052506 (2914)
• Philippines
25 May 08
Hi amnher, I am not a single mother. Me and my huband both have worked but still we are having a hard time to let both ends meet the reason why I won't quit my work because the more we will be having a hard time paying our bills and tuition for our kids. Har to figure out!!!! It is also hard to find relatives to stay with us. Well, I would say, we are looking for a baby sitter from our relatives but hard to find one.
thanks for sharing your ideas.
@jashley1 (746)
• United States
21 May 08
Hello,
I'd say the best thing to do is to make the most out of the time you have and really consider staying home with them. I've recently made this transition for my three children and I've seen such a change in our relationships! I love being home with them, and although it is a sacrifice, it's well worth it! Plus there are many things you can do to earn money from home. It takes time, but its there. Check out my profile for ways.
1 person likes this
@celestial052506 (2914)
• Philippines
21 May 08
aw!! thanks for sharing.. I will check it later. the only thing is.. I have no internet of my own. I just go to the net when I have time and once I am in mylot, I am hooked up to this site and I can't go over other sites.
I really like thi site. there are so many bright ideas from peole who have hands on experience aboaut many things in life.
Thanks for sharing.
@sturner03 (326)
• United States
23 May 08
I would say just keep talking to them and reminding them whos who. My daughter a couple times called her grandmother momma because she was aorund so much, and that happened with me being there. It was the most heart wreching thing in the world. But I kept telling her no baby thats mimi and i'm momma. And now theres not a bit of confusion.
1 person likes this
@celestial052506 (2914)
• Philippines
23 May 08
Oh!! how sad. That was what happened to me too. My little daughter called her baby sitter mamma and she cried when the baby sitter is away. But when I will go to work and leave her, as if nothing happened. I was hurt with this.. Good that her baby sitter finally leave us for good. But my baby got sick for a week after the baby sitter left.
Well, that's the heart ache of a working mother.
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
20 May 08
I can sympathize with you as I am also a working mom and I know how it is to leave your children every day. In this world, it seems impossible to not be a working mom and yet we want our children with us. I am also a home school mom and so I do spend a lot of time with my children but it would be easier if I was a stay at home mom and could be out of the workforce.
1 person likes this
@celestial052506 (2914)
• Philippines
21 May 08
I love to hear that home school program but unfortunately that is not availbale in my country. If there is maybe it is too expensive. My kids are in a private shcool and I me and my husband were struggling hard just for our kids to be in the private school.
Anyway, We were able to make it because we both work hard.
Thanks for the reply.
@reejane (293)
• Philippines
26 May 08
I think the best way is balancing your time between work and family which I know is tough.
You can however, spend some more time with your kids suring your rest days wherein you don't have to go to work. Or schedule a vacaion to bond with them.
In that way, your kids will still be close to you and acknowledge you as a parent.
@lin_buenavista (22)
• Philippines
21 May 08
It is hard to work and be a mom at the same time. I'm not saying that it can't be done but it is challenging. It's true that having a nanny would ease a lot of the demands of having a baby. I suggest that you spend as much of your time outside of work with the baby. Try to finish what you have to do at work and never bring it home. This way, your family time is really family time
1 person likes this
@celestial052506 (2914)
• Philippines
21 May 08
thanks for the advice. I am not bringing my work at home, but I am always late in going home and when I arrived I am very tired already. It's really tough to be a working mom.
Thanks for the reply..