Would you let hubby attend a bachelor party?
By katsmeow1213
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
United States
May 24, 2008 2:11pm CST
One of my husband's co-workers is getting married, and is planning his bachelor party for next Friday. Hubby was just telling me about it last night, and said he wasn't going. I asked why, and he said because they are going to a strip club.
Now so far as I know, there are five guys going, including the groom. Three of the 5 are married. The other 2 are in serious relationships and already have children. Why they'd plan a night at the strip club instead of at a typical bar is beyond me, but hubby says he won't go for that reason. He didn't actually ask my opinion, but I wonder if he's only saying that because he thinks I'll say no.
I was thinking about it, and part of me would like him to go. He doesn't get much chance to go out with friends. He typically comes straight home from work, usually only goes out a couple times a year if that.
I really don't like strip clubs, just because I think it's disrespectful and distasteful, but I completely trust my husband. I've just always been a firm believer that married or committed men have no business at a strip club.
What would you do? Would you tell hubby he should go?
4 people like this
21 responses
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
24 May 08
We've been together 7 years and this is the first time it's been brought up. He hasn't told me why he won't go, maybe he truly doesn't want to.
I know before we were together he went to strip clubs often, and he said it never did anything for him. He says he mostly went for the food. Knowing my husband, I completely believe that, lol.
In this instance, I really just want him to be able to hang out with his friends, because he really doesn't do that much. He really wouldn't be looking at the other girls at the club, he'd be having a drink or two and hanging out with his buddies.
Who knows, since they're all married, maybe they won't stay long. They do have plans for after the club. So it's not like the whole night will be at the strip club.
2 people like this
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
24 May 08
Yes, I would tell him to go. If you love him and trust him then you love him and trust him no matter where he is. This strip club thing is tradition and a guy's idea of a wild night out. I would let my husband go and recently my best friend's husband went to one for his nephew. He said that he was pretty embarassed by the attention of the mostly naked woman and it didn't do a thing for him.
@danishcanadian (28955)
• Canada
24 May 08
No way in h3ll!!!! The two of us talked about this before we got married, and neither of us had interest in such lewd forms of entertainment such as strippers and batchellor, batchellorette parties. We only have eyes for eachother.
1 person likes this
@metschica25 (5399)
• United States
25 May 08
mine hates all that as well . what fun is that really , ya know .
@hockeygal4ever (10021)
• United States
25 May 08
Kudos to your hubby. I think any man who goes to those when he has a family and wife at home needs his head examined. There are many people who have bachelor parties without having strippers and disgusting antics.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
25 May 08
This is true. I did ask him why they decided to do this considering all the guys are involved... He says the groom himself is not actually choosing this, but another co-worker, who I guess is in a bad relationship... well he's the wrong guy to be throwing a bachelor party.
@quiltedblessings (1066)
• United States
24 May 08
I'm like you, I don't like strip clubs myself. That being said, if it was my husband, I would probably encourage him to go and "have fun, just not too much". You are right though, he probably does deserve a night of fun, especially if he really only gets out a couple of times a year. Good for you in trusting him, and just tell him that! :O) No need for him to sacrifice the fun if you are willing to let him go.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
24 May 08
He does deserve a night out. The last time he went out without me was to his company's Christmas Party! I could have gone but didn't because I was pregnant and it was open bar, too much temptation.
This one time he was invited to go drinking with a co-worker and meet Adam Sandler... yes, THE Adam Sandler. He didn't go because he thought I'd be upset about being left with the kids all night. When he told me about it I almost slapped him upside the head. I said if he ever gets that chance again, he'd better go!
1 person likes this
@clowdine (1402)
• Philippines
25 May 08
I agree that married men and those who are in a relationship have no business in a strip club. You might just want to let him know waht you think. I also figure it's best if he is aware of your disagreement with that even without telling him not to go because he may think it's just okay with you if he does that and he'll just go to a strip club anytime he pleases with that thought in his mind.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
25 May 08
No, he's not that sort of person. He knows how I feel about it and wouldn't try. Like I said, he already said he wasn't going, with or without my permission.
1 person likes this
@TriciaW (2441)
• United States
25 May 08
I would tell him to go. It isn't like it they are going to do anything just have fun and see women dancing around. We had to make some of the guys go to one last year for a bachelor party cause they thought we would be made too. They had fun and got home before us girls did*L*
1 person likes this
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
1 Jun 08
No, I couldn't let mine go. And, yes, mine would ask me first. I guess all guys are different. Not every guy asks before doing stuff like that. Mine would be afraid that I'd be mad at him and hold it over his head for years. And, of course, I would. My spouse would know better. There's no way I would ever feel comfortable having my spouse in a place like that.
I'm like you, I don't believe that married or committed men should be going to places like that. Even if we trust our spouses, doesn't always mean they are trust worthy. Better safe than sorry.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
25 May 08
I personally detest stripclubs as they demean women
so would have a hard time say yes to my husband back
when he was alive. I trusted him but I did not like
the idea of him ogling these naked women at all.I do
not think that is anyplace for a married man to go.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
25 May 08
That's pretty much how I feel about it. He and I talked about it last night after I posted this, and as it turns out, he really just doesn't want to go. We have decided he's going to talk them into changing plans, because 2 of the guys don't want to go. They're going to go to a bar first, then the rest can go to the strip club later and the 2 tht don't want to will go home.
@GreenMoo (11833)
•
25 May 08
What my other half chooses to do is his own business, but I hope he'd take my views into account when deciding. I wouldn't be bothered if he went to a strip club for a one off event like this. It wouldn't be his choice of location, and looking and misbehaving are two very different things! I wouldn't like it if it became something he did regularly though.
1 person likes this
@eihdra (3115)
• Philippines
25 May 08
I don't like strip clubs too and funny they are all somehow committed that they chose that kind for a bachelor's party. From where I come from, it's also the most chosen kinda party they would go to..I just don't get it..one reason guy friends tell me is that because it would be the last free time the groom will have to spend with another woman beside his future wife..Spend means that after the party, the groom will spend the night and his arms with another woman.
My husband doesn't like it either so when he's invited he excuses himself and tell it outright that he doesn't like it..That if they want him to attend better do it just talking and drinking without any woman present..so, in my situation, there's no need to ask if he likes to go because he will tell me so..
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
25 May 08
Yes, we have talked about it, and as it turns out, he really just doesn't want to go. He is going to see if they can go to a normal bar first to have a few drinks, then the rest can go to strip club after if they want, but he will come home.
@christymac (150)
• United States
25 May 08
I think much of this depends on your husbands friends. My husband has two sets of friends. He has his married, family man friends and his single friends.
I know all of his friends pretty well, and most of them I like very much. A few of his single friends are not what I consider the best influence. But what it really boils down to is, do I trust my husband...or really do you trust yours?
I think the most you can do is express your feelings about strip clubs and how it would make you feel if he went. And then if could make the decision to go or not. You can only hope that he values you and cares much about your feelings.
Marriage is hard, for men and women. But for women it seems like we are always the ones saying no and this only makes it harder for us. A lucky few of us have husbands who are understanding and its these rare men who can give up things like strip clubs for the better of their marriage.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
25 May 08
My husband used to go to strip clubs with his friends before we started dating, but hasn't since. He wouldn't even think about going on his own.
As it turns out, he just really doesn't want to go. I told him I might let him and he said he just didn't want to.
@metschica25 (5399)
• United States
25 May 08
my diance doesnt want one or would go to one . he said he would rather go to a ball game. if he wanted i guess i would let him go .
1 person likes this
@superwrench62 (3)
• United States
25 May 08
i would let him go,every man needs a night out with the guys once in awile,thats why they make those kind of clubs,hes either going to be faithful or hes not,but going to a club like that 2 times a year is accually good for him,women, just dont understand,thats why most guys do not tell there wifes of it.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
25 May 08
He doesn't go to strip clubs at all, he hasn't in over 7 years, before we were together. And he is not the type that would lie to me about it.
@highflyingxangel (9225)
• United States
25 May 08
I'm not so sure I would. Men get a little wild and crazy when they are with other guys, especially when they're drinking and around women that are all up in their faces taking their clothes off. I'd be worried about him doing something that he would regret later or just doing something that could end up ruining the relationship. Trust or not, I'd still be afraid he'd do something completely out of character.
@cobrateacher (8432)
• United States
26 May 08
Are you serious about LETTING? He's your husband, not your slave. I encourage my husband to do things with friends, because everyone needs their life to be well-rounded. I don't want him to get tired of me, either, which I think could happen if we were to worry about whether to LET each other do things. We certainly do discuss everything, but I can't imagine forbidding anything. Maybe I'm just lucky because my husband is a wonderful man who has never wanted to do anything objectionable, as far as I know. Or maybe I'm too accepting. I don't think so, though. Our love and trust are strong. Try trust!
@walijo2008 (4644)
• United States
25 May 08
I wouldn't worry about it myself, because my husband wouldn't go to something like that. If it was a dinner or his buddies just hanging out he might go, but he's not like that, he wouldn't go to a strip club, he says he's never been to one and he wouldn't go to one....he's a good guy...No, I wouldn't tell him to go...if he don't want to.
@sisterjinx (1135)
• United States
26 May 08
I would let my hubby go if he wanted to. I have in fact let him go to a bachelor party at a strip club one time in the past. I trust him with all that I am. I know that he loves me and wouldn't do anything to injure our relationship. And it's a guy thing. The "big" bachelor party at a strip club. They need the story to tell later. lol That last night of freedom thing. lol
If you trust him I dont see why he shouldn't go. At least give him the option.
@chinnu3579 (661)
• India
25 May 08
No,As the party name is itself is bachelors, and where the question arises for married .Its like "No Entry" for a person who got married.There all freinds abuse about the married life and different friends wifes,which also may hurt a married man.So in my view not attending such type of clubs is better.
@mygirls9901 (338)
• United States
27 May 08
I am completely not a traditional girl... Typically if my boyfriend goes to the strip club, I go with him. Not that I don't trust him but I am a girl and I know how we can get what we want...especially with our clothes off :P So I think it would have to be a no on my end unless I was going with him.
