How Do You Feel When People Make Promises To You...And Don't Keep Them?
By pyewacket
@pyewacket (43903)
United States
May 24, 2008 4:36pm CST
Okay this is a twist on my other discussion about "How Well Do You Keep Promises..." The idea was how well do you keep promises that you make ESPECIALLY to yourself...
Well instead, how do you feel if someone makes a promise to do some favor or task to YOU, and they don't keep them? Are you annoyed, disappointed? Let down?
Since I'm such a stickler for keeping promises I make for others and to myself, I have to admit I get mad as hell and very disappointed if someone makes some promise to me and they don't keep them...especially if I was really counting on the promise made to me and it's not done. I feel let down and often hurt. So often my attitude will be, if THEY then ask for a favor, I say no, I just can't do that...like titt for tat...you didn't keep your promise so why should I go out of my way to help you...I know that sounds maybe cruel, but sometimes one feels that one is being taken advantage of...or is it just me?
13 people like this
50 responses
@hellcowboy (7374)
• United States
25 May 08
I think it is a terrible thing when someone breaks a promise,because it shows a lack of character and a lack of responsibility and it makes you wonder whether you can trust the person or not.
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
30 May 08
Yes it makes me trust a person a lot less too and can't count on them
@hellcowboy (7374)
• United States
9 Jun 08
Yeah I know what you mean it is always hard to count on someone who breaks promises,because of the lack of trust that it causes you to have towards them,have a good day,good luck in your life,and Happy Posting.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
24 May 08
Well in general I hate people who do not keep promises. I assume you are talking of a task as it had been deemed by you...
I hate it the most when people say they will call and never do, or keep putting things off until you realize that chances are the person will never do it. My friends say that they will come to my county but have not yet done so and when asked will say that they do not have time. They do not call me and I must call them. This hurts me and pisses me off at the same time.
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
25 May 08
To be honest I rarely ask for a favor or have a person keep a promise to me...I rather do everything myself..On the rare occasions I do ask a favor and the person promises me to fulfill it they usually never do...so that is a real let down and yes...pisses me off no end
2 people like this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
25 May 08
It just causes a trust issue between friends. I would definitely be sore if a friend did it over and over again.
3 people like this
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
25 May 08
I always keep my promises. I don't like to promise anything to anyone if I am not able to keep.
I am better keeping promises to others than to myself.
Ops, I promised to my dogs to walk at night....time to go...
HUGS
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
26 May 08
Mmmm...that reminds me...Pyewacket's birthday is June 17th and I promised to get new toys for him....hehee
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
24 May 08
I actually have a habit of not asking people for favors...it's kind of the attitude I have, If you want something to get done you have to do it yourself..LOL
2 people like this
@WANDALIE44 (888)
• United States
24 May 08
depending on what the promise is and who made the promise, i would feel let down and maybe upse. i mean i know things happen and we all have other things that weve prolly promised other people, however if you know you cant do it then dont promise it, thats my motto, i even do that with my children if i know i cant do it in time or at all then i just say i cant and i dont say ill promise nope i wont do it to myself..my kids will never forgive me for that and i dont blam them...
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
24 May 08
I think the worse is if you were really counting on the person that made the promise to you and they didn't come through, especially things that are really important...some promises made to me by others if they weren't urgent ones, no problem.. That's why I have a tendency NOT to ask for a favor
2 people like this
@WANDALIE44 (888)
• United States
25 May 08
i totaly agree with you, and when i hear someone tell me or my kids i promise i let them know from jump, if you cant keep it dont promise it.
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
25 May 08
I don't make promises unless I can keep them...and I never as for a favor, since I've always been a "I rather do it myself" kind of person
1 person likes this
@highflyingxangel (9225)
• United States
24 May 08
I really hate when people make promises to me and then don't keep them. It really bothers me, especially when they bring the issue up and then don't follow through with it. It would have been better in my opinion if they hadn't even brought the issue up at all. I've gotten used to it though, I guess because I've had so many promises broken.
2 people like this
@highflyingxangel (9225)
• United States
25 May 08
I agree but I think most people just do not care about whether or not they hurt anyone's feelings. They got what they wanted, so why should they fufill their end of the bargain.
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
25 May 08
It really is such a let down..especially if it's a person that I fulfill a promise to and kept it...like hey..I expect them to keep their promise for something I've asked
1 person likes this
@Destiny007 (5805)
• United States
25 May 08
When someone makes a promise I don't really count on it happening until they actually keep it.
You would be amazed at the amount of disappointment that attitude saves a person.
If they do keep their promise then I am happy that they could be depended on... that time.
If they don't keep their promise, then I am not disappointed at all, because I didn't really expect them to keep it in the first place.
2 people like this
@Destiny007 (5805)
• United States
25 May 08
I learned a long time ago to not count on anything from anyone.
My wife of course, does not fit that category, however she is also slowly learning the same lessons that I learned so long ago.
I can only count on her and myself to keep our promises to each other.
Everyone else is a crapshoot.
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
25 May 08
But what if it was a promise you were really counting on, and the person practically gave a blood oath to fulfill that promise to you and then didn't come through...that is when I think one should feel really let down
1 person likes this
@vaishalik (237)
• India
25 May 08
I also hate them who can't keep their promise. But I don't agree titt for tat. If you do the same what is differance between them & you. You are not bad so you must especialy keep their poromise & they will shame on themselves.
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
25 May 08
Yes, but after awhile if say I make a promise for a friend, and I keep my promises to do something as a favor not once, not twice but many times and then the one time I ask for a favor/promise and they don't keep it, I feel like I've been taken advantage of and that isn't right, is it?
1 person likes this
@vaishalik (237)
• India
25 May 08
Yes, I agree & then we try to neglect such peoples.
2 people like this
@faith210 (11224)
• Philippines
25 May 08
Hi pyewacket! I do keep my promises to others and if they don't keep their promises to me..I really get so disappointed and so hurt. You see, I really get out my way just to keep my promises and if they don't do the same thing for me..I get mad. So, just like you when they ask another favor again, I will tell them I will see if I can but won't promise you anything or most of the time, I would just flatly say NO especially to those who just keeps on abusing my "Kindness". And I think that is not cruel at all because we know of course that we are just being taken advantage of and it is just so foolish of us if we let people do that to us all the time.
Take Care and God Bless! Happy Mylotting! 
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
25 May 08
Yes, I think after awhile if we know someone, and we always keep our promises to do something, but then when we ask a promise of someone else and they don't fulfill it, then yes they are taking advantage of our kindness. And that's not fair or right, is it?
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
26 May 08
Yes, major promises broken are very hurtful when they aren't kept
@seagullkang (109)
•
25 May 08
Fistly ,I will feel very upset down .Maybe even angry !
But I think I will make clear about the one why cannot keep the promise then .Then decide if trust the person any more ...For myself ,I seldom say something so absolutely if I'm not sure about one thing .And I will never make promise of one thing without 90 percent of success .Because I hate being slow down and never want to be that kind of guy ...
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
30 May 08
I always make sure I keep my promises, that's why it's such a let down when a person doesn't keep a promise to me and yes do get angry
@darkoutlaw (25)
• United States
25 May 08
i cant stand liers. i hold no pity or caring for them. and i love to draw out the fact there liers i'll bring up stuff they owe or said they'd any chance i get. ibelieve conferntation is the best way to deal with liers
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
30 May 08
Sometimes confrontation doesn't always work, believe me I know. My mother was forever making promises and never kept them, when I'd confront her about it she still did nothing
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
25 May 08
I rarely ask for favors/promises as well, I kind of am if you want something done you got to do it yourself philosophy that way I'm not relying on someone else
1 person likes this
@sumofalltears (3988)
• United States
25 May 08
I have learned over the course of time that in most cases people will live down to their standards and not up to my standards. When making promises I make sure that any promise I make is easy enough to keep and if they make a promise I take it with a grain of salt.
A broken promise from a really good friend would upset me, but that doesn't happen often. Really good friends don't make promises they don't intend to keep.
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
26 May 08
Mmmm...well lots of times it wasn't friends of mine who broke promises to me, but my own mother..it took me a really long time to realize what a chronic lier she was..always making promises and never kept a single one to me.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
25 May 08
I am with you as when someone promises to do something
for me I expect them to do as I would do ,keep their
promise. i would never promise something to someone and
not keep my promise. So if someone breaks their promise
to me I am angry and upset specially if its someone
close to me like my son or my friend. I can say my son
has never broken a promise he made to me, but once
he could not keep it because the bank was closed and
the atm machine no longer took deposits. and that was a whole]
new ball game as he could not fulfill his promise. That does
not count. I am very careful to keep any promise I make so
I am careful not to make promises I know I cannot keep.
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
25 May 08
Yes, I think it can hurt more if it's a very close family member or friend that doesn't fulfill their promises...your son's incident there though was weird circumstances so really not his fault...I take he eventually kept the promise though. what hurt me most where all the promises my mother made to me and NEVER kept them...it was like she was just giving lip service and never kept one promise to me.
1 person likes this
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
25 May 08
Pye..I use to let people take advantage of me and never said NO..but now if they say something i don't expect it to happen but if it does then i'm not disappointed..there word is no good till it happens now..this way i'm not hurt or feeling used.
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
26 May 08
I was like that too, always going out of my way fulfilling a promise I'd make to someone, but then if I asked for a favor they didn't do it...made me feel like I was being walked all over
@zhubaohuisdme (240)
• China
25 May 08
In my opinion,it depends. I will forgive him if he really didn't mean to be it and maybe he made promise just set my hert at rest then and there .Everyone can make mistake after all.I will never forgive him if he just tell a lie or only pretense
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
26 May 08
But sometimes people will keep expecting you to fulfill a promise made to them but they don't return the favor....like being taken advantage of right?
@sxrxnrr45601 (1171)
• United States
25 May 08
to be honest it makes me sick my older brother does it to my son all the time with empty promises of coming and getting him and taking him fishing I hate it exspeicaly when done to a child empty promises and lies are no different!
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
25 May 08
I think broken promises made by an adult to a child are probably the worse as kids really look up to the adult to keep them and is not setting a good example for the child, is it?
