Should children be taught to stand up for themselves?

My daughter was taught to tell the child to stop and walk away the first time. The second time she can protect herself and tell me. I was at a Chuckee Cheese when she was about e and a kid kept jumping on her. She came and told me and we went to another part of the place to play. The child followed her and kept up so I went to the child's father and told him to keep his kid away from mine. He laughed and said "kids will be kids." I was mad and saw my daughter was even more mad than I. Eventually she decked the kid. The father came over to give me heck and a biker dude who was their with his kids and had been going through the same thing came over and handled the father. My daughter was also bullied in 4th grade by a child and it got physical. After that I taught my child some self-defense moves so it will not happen again. Two years ago a boy was hitting her, as he went to hit her again she chicken-winged him and put him face down on the ground in front of his brothers and some friends. Bullying has not been an issue since. She knows better than to throw a punch. I will punish her for that, but I will not punish her for protecting herself. I can't help it if parents don't teach their kids to respect others. I can't change those kids, but I can teach my child to take care of herself.

I would let a adult at school know what the other child has done to your child. Before things get worser or a fight gets started.

I believe all children should be made to stand up for themselves - to a point. I don't believe in pulling punches etc, but I don't believe anyone should stand there & be a punching bag either - self defense is the key. My children will be taught to defend themselves but not to hurt anyone intentionally.

It depends on the age. It also depends on how many pushes we are talking about. For just one push, my thought is let it go, but if a kid is chasing mine around and pushing them more than once I would try to intervene, or get the other Mom's attention and show them what their child is doing in a nice way of course. I have never told any of my kids in these situations to push another kid back or hit them, or anything like that. But there have been times when my kids have come home from school complaining about another kid being mean to them. If it persists I give them my blessing to be mean back, but not physical. I personally as a kid was too nice, and never stood up for myself until later, and I really wish that I had. I don't want my kids to feel that they should be picked on by anyone.

I have a 10 year old son whom I have explained to that he needs to go to the one in charge of the playground, if someone is actually picking on or bullying him, when he is at school. Sometimes when he's at school, I don't feel I get the whole story. Especially when he claims he did go to the one in charge and it was not dealt with at all. Of course there is a fine line between protecting yourself in this manner and just tattling. I would tell him to fight back in these instances, because he is so much smaller than almost everyone in his class, but I do think he'd end up being the one who gets into trouble. He has a history of being just different, because he has Aspergers and ADHD, so the teachers seem to single him out, and find fault in him. I have also taught him a bit of how to defend himself, and plan to show him a bit more as he gets older and can learn the real difference between self-defense and getting carried away with stopping bullying.

i'll tell my kid to keep his distance from that kid but if the kid keeps on chasing him/her then i'll tell him/her to tell the kid to stop pushing him and if all fails, i'll go to my kid and show the other kid that i saw what he'she's doing and just give him that stare and pull my kid away from him. i think it's still not good to fight especially with me watching. but' if ever i'm not around and this thing happen, i'll tell my kid to fight back.

It would have to depend on the situation and of course the childs age. School age: If another child was just yelling at my daughter with no physical contast, I plan to tell het to walk away. In the event that someone pushes her first, again I plan to tell her to walk away, but if they keep touching her she will know how to defend herself. I will never tolerate her being a bully, but will back her up if she is being bullied.

it dependson case to case. also how much old the kid is. its always the case the child should be taught to be self dependent. it will make them strong.

Sweets both my children are big for their age and I always made sure Niall knew he had to be careful not to hurt others but I truly believe that I pushed him too far in this direction as no matter what we have tried to teach him since he has never learned how to defend himself! With Niamh she definitely knows how to defend herself but as you know doesn't want to get in trouble by doing so. I think it is difficult to know what to answer to this one as it is only a push and not an all out attack or placing them in much danger - I think I would prefer my kids knew how to speak to someone doing that and walking away - it shows that they can deal with conflict and that you don't always have to react to violence with violence! If it was worse then I would definitely say they would have to retaliate! xxx

Hello dear makingpots. Such being the case, I think that there is need for our child to stand up to protect himself by asking the pushing kid why he does so instead of pushing him back, which will only lead to a worse situation, ie, kids' fighting, which is not what I expect. I teach my kid to solve anything in a peaceful way to avoid any more contradictions...

If that happens I won't teach my child to fight back. Id rather teach her to stand and maybe ask the other child why he has to do it. I dont know maybe it might not the way to happen it since most of the time a child will just cry and ask for their moms. Or they might fight bcak. But as much as possible I dont want my kid to fight back.

My son is in 1st grade, he has recently had trouble with a boy who is a couple years older than he is. The boy is a neighbor. The bullying occurs on the bus and here. I have called the school and told his guardian. Still he picks at my son. I finally told my son that if he continues and he feels threatened to definately defend himslf. I certainly will not see my son being walked on. This is jut my opinion, though.

I've been teaching my 8 yr old daughter Aikido for past 3 years... It's a form of self-defense... It's none violent way to end a lot of conflicts... People see martial arts as a form of hurting other people but the core of it is really not... It has more to do with control... Having self control and control of others who are trying to hurt you & your loved ones, and control of the situation... I've been taking Aikido ever since I was kid & it's never about "hitting" someone or breaking someone's bones like you see in the movies... Ok, there are some, what I'd call, "tapping" but no serious injury causing hits or kicks or anything of that nature... It's actually about protecting yourself & even your attacker(s)... It's about having control over your attacker's action to the point where he/she's not able to hurt you or even him/herself... I still remember my daughter throwing a boy twice her size practically across the play ground... Like some others, I never teach my child to "hit" another but to protect herself & it's never right to hurt anyone else... Her first concern should be creating an opportunity to get away from hostile situation... If anyone's interested, look into a self-defense "Aikido"... Has a great teaching & belief behind it...

I would teach my child to walk away and tell someone just because if he would fight back he would probly get in big troube. I was taught that if someone pusshes me around to not take it and if they hit me first I am going to defend myself. I am going to teach my children to be the bigger person and do the right thing but at the same time they will be able to defend themselves.

I taught my children if they are being bullied or picked on, to tell the other child to stop it and then walk away. If the child contines, to go and tell either the teacher or if I am there with them to tell me. I have never condoned physical violance. Once my children got older, they were taught to stand up for themselves by using their words and actions, not their fists.

My children are adults now, but I tried to teach them to be 'better' than the other kid and 'walk away' but if all else failed to fight back. I've spent my life being bullied or talked down to because of being small (I'm 4ft 9in) and girls can be even nastier than boys! I tried to prepare my children to meet the bullies of the world, especially my son who was a lot smaller than average, wore glasses, had braces and was studious rather than sporty. We used to tell him all the names he might get called and it seemed to help. If called something, instead of getting upset, he'd ask them to "At least come up with something original". I think I'd want him to walk away the first time it happened, and be wary next time he saw the other child! It really depends on the circumstances though and whether I was there or not.

It depends on the age and size of both kids. if they are in the early teens yes teaach them to defend themselves get pushed you push back. but little kids thats a different story. they should be taught to just walk away from a kinder gartener who shoves them. no war.

Wow, this is a really great post because it is a real question and very difficult to answer. My husband and I are Christians and so we are raising our children according to the Bible and the Bible states that we are to "turn a cheek" when something like this happens. However, Christians cannot be completely passive and there is a misunderstanding because people expect that they can walk all over Christians as well, which is not true. We had an instance when our oldest was about three years old, and she is just the sweetest child - very caring and compassionate. Well, this little girl on the playground was just pouring sand on top of her head over and over again and when I picked her up - she was just standing there crying. I was really irritated by this and my husband and I decided that we had to teach her how to stand up for herself. It is very important. There are too many bullies and punks out there in life and children are the cruelist. Now, it's hard to teach a child good reasoning as to when it's ok to fight back and when it isn't. However, we are doing our best to teach our children that if there are mean kids in school - stay away from them because we don't want "mean" people as friends. If a child does something mean such as hit, shove, or anything physical or verbal (name calling), they should definately tell their teacher about it, but if someone does push them, they should stand up for themselves and tell that child to knock it off. If the child does it again, then they have our permission to hit them back. But immediately after that to tell a teacher. I know this may seem wrong to some people, but I'd rather have my child fighting for herself than just crying about it and being known as the kid bullies can pick on. I refuse for that to happen.

Well i will teach my child to stand up for one's self. But not to push back the child at first. tell the other child never to push you again or go tell your teacher. But if that child continues to bully mine and the teacher isn't really doing anything to relieve the situation. Then i would let my child take matter into his/her own hands, by pushing back the child. But violence is not the answer. It's most likely that the child doing the bullying is doing exactly what is taking place in his/her home. Children do what they are taught. we as parents need to teach our kids the right things, because hitting back won't necessarily solve the problem. That's why we have so many violence going on in our schools.

yes I child should be taught this! I am a frim beleaver in this! My son while in kindergraden was being bullied by another student I delt with the best I could with calling the school I even went as far as calling the school board I sent my son to school with out marks on him I exspect him to come home the same way. I was glad to see the school year end. well this school year started off pretty good about a month ago my son came home with an ice bag on his head the same student from the year before started in again ! Though I do not condone fighting last week I get a knock at the do its my sons princeable bring my son home at 1200 noon he was kicked out of school for the day because the same student that had been bullie my son spit in his face and I guess my son had just had enough which I can understand and hit the boy a few times. using no weapons or nothing like that just a 7 year old boy fighting with another 7 years old boy. the boy has not messed with my son since! So yes I do think you should teach your childern to stand up for them selves and stand up for what they beleave in!!!!!