Strangers calling you pet names...
By cortjo73
@cortjo73 (6498)
United States
May 30, 2008 12:50pm CST
Does it bother anyone else when a stranger calls you a pet name like Baby of Sweetie, Sweatheart, Precious, etc...? I had that happen yesterday. A guy called my company for some computer services, which is not what we do so it was a wrong number, and after I answered he said "Hey Baby, how are you?" What? I don't know this dude from the Devil and he is calling me an endearing name like Baby? But, it is my job to be cordial on the phone so, I kept the irritation out of my voice as I spoke with him. I tried to help him find the right company to call and, he called me Baby one more time as he thanked me for my help and told me to "have a great evening Baby". So, I just don't like the very intimate quality of someone calling someone else Baby. Especially when I have never seen or spoken to this guy before. He wouldn't have spoken that way to a man if one of my bosses had answered his call. And, the only person who calls me "baby" is my hubby because I am his baby. He has earned that right.
Does it bother anyone else when others assume it is ok to address you so intimately with a pet name even though they have never met you? I know he was just being nice and that is likely his nature but, I just think he should have a little more respect for his family than to address random women with such an intimate pet name. My hubby doesn't call anyone else "baby" or "baby doll" like he calls me. And, I don't address anyone else by the pet names I have for him. Those are intimate and they are his and my names for one another.
What do the rest of you think?
4 people like this
15 responses
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
31 May 08
I'm guilty of saying sweets and Luv to some here and now i hope they all know I've earned my rights being older to say this..LOL.. but i can see what you mean..and if i call you baby just let me know..LOL
1 person likes this
@cortjo73 (6498)
• United States
31 May 08
LOL! No worries Rosekitty! We are friends here on myLot! I feel a connection to the people here and, that is different than a complete stranger whom I have literally never had any contact with just randomly calling me a pet name! So, you can call me sweets or luv is you want! I will not be offended by you!
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
31 May 08
Thanks Baby..You are a special sweetie and I Luv you..LOL..ok got it all out and from now on you will know its just me..LOL
1 person likes this
@Liasonfan (1702)
• Canada
30 May 08
I think to me, it only matters how they say it, the tone of their voice. Yep, it would bother me if it was said sarcastically or with any type of malice. However, when I worked in the coffee shop and also here on the net, I often would call someone, darlin' or sweetie or whatever and it is meant in frienship and camaderie, so no it doesn't bother me when I get the same back. The word 'HUN' sometimes bothers me, just because I don't like the word itself, but that is just my hangup...I have been on the net and around my messageboards for so long that I am kind of appreciative of these little terms of endearment. I have met alot of people in real life that started out message board friends, as well!
@Liasonfan (1702)
• Canada
30 May 08
Yep, I can sort of see your point. It would be very strange if a complete stranger walked up and called me 'Baby', that is more of a spousal, partner thing as well as parent to child. But in all my years of working, I just kind of let things like that go in one ear and out the other, I don't think I was ever called Baby, but I did get alot of darlin' and honey and sweetheart, lol. If it really bothers you I think you would well be within your rights to say, hey, please don't call me that...my name is....Sure, why not---we all have our rights...especially if it happens more than once by the same person....
1 person likes this
@cortjo73 (6498)
• United States
30 May 08
Yea. I thought about that. He wasn't being sarcastic, nor did he have any malice in his voice. I think it is just his way. But, I would prefer honey or sweetie or something over Baby. Baby is one of the most intimate pet names and it shouldn't be used on total strangers.
And, I wouldn't mind if you called me something like Darlin'. I sort of know you. Both from the Soapnet message board and here. We have chatted more than once over the past couple of years so, I am more comfortable with you than with a guy whom I have never laid eyes on nor spoken with before yesterday over the phone lines.
There is a bit of intimacy in message boards. We become long distance friends and, pet names are more acceptable. But, strangers who have never spoken before, should really never use pet names. Especially baby! Someone who calls me baby is someone who has been in my bed with me! LOL! And that is only my hubby!
@ebsharer (5515)
• United States
5 Jun 08
I too would have a problem with that. I mean I have had many people call me dear, hon, sweetheart, But I guess it depends on the before and after. I don't think "baby or babe" would ever be acceptable. I know there is a dear old lady that calls my work and she always calles me sweatheart. - Thank you sweetheart, can you get some one over here sweetheart (we do home maintenance). Just like there is a old man that calls and he calls me dear. The context in which they say it doesn't bother me. But there are a few people that call here and if they said it I would probably be irritated like you were.
Now I do work with all men 13 of them and me! They call me all kinds of things, if I get a babe or baby from them they are trying to agervate me so although its annoying they are doing it as a joke knowing it annoyes me.
Overall I guess it doesn't bother me because I know its just how some people talk. I think babe or baby is on the line but again it all depends on the context in which it was said and who said it.
@cortjo73 (6498)
• United States
5 Jun 08
I think dear wouldn't bother me. And, he wasn't trying to be sarcastic or rude when he called me baby but, that is still a word that bothers me to have any other man beside my hubby call me that! But, I do agree that some pet names when said by strangers, can be tolerable when said in the right context. Just never baby! LOL!
1 person likes this
@di1159 (1580)
• United States
31 May 08
Well I guess it depends on the conversation and its tone. Sometimes I get someone how is a bit aggressive and says Listen honey or sweetheart and I usually respond by saying excuse me, I'm not your sweetheart. Sometimes a client will say sweetie trying to be nice and it won't really bother me. I agree with you though, it can be considered a bit rude to address someone like that. Have a great day!
@cortjo73 (6498)
• United States
31 May 08
I agree that tone can have something to do with it. And, he wasn't being a jerk or anything but, it was inappropriate as he was as much of a stranger to me as anyone could be. So, that bothered me a bit. But, to be honest, I don't think him calling me baby would have been any less annoying if I did know him based on the fact that my hubby uses it as a term of endearment so it is sort of sacred.
@joychristo1987 (4)
•
31 May 08
It really irritates me when my friends call me by my nickname.So think of the condition if a stanger calls me my nickname?
1 person likes this
@cortjo73 (6498)
• United States
31 May 08
Oh...that is one thing that bothers me too. My name is actually Cortney and, that is how I introduce myself. So, for a person to call me Cort, they sort of have to be really close to me. A family member or a really close friend, and of course, my hubby. One guy that my company deals with a lot calls me Cort. First of all, I don't like the guy. He is arrogant and once told me that he hated my boss and called my boss a bad word. Not cool. But, he feels it is ok to call me by a name I didn't give him the ok to call me? What? I introduced myself to him as Cortney and that is the name he should be calling me. Especially after he told me his unfavorable attitude towards my boss! Idiot! Clueless! Socially inept! Those are some names I would like to start calling him! LOL!
@alice1119 (30)
• China
31 May 08
Sometime my friend has experiences the situation like yours.Maybe i can relize your irritation.
Usually i make some interesting jokes to attract her so that she forget it and become happy again.In my opinion,every work has its nagetive aspects which may affect our moods even our life,
so sometime let's to be forgetful people who will be happy.
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
31 May 08
Well I've never had the problem of some stranger, particularly a guy calling me baby, or sweetie, sweetheart, etc. but there is another thing that I might be called. You see I live in an area that does have a large Spanish speaking population...one of the terms of endearment is to call a woman "Mommy"--it could be a female child, an aunt, a "real" mommy, etc. Now here's the weird thing, I do happen to be part Spanish (Plus a multitude of a lot of other ethnic cultures)..and just never remember this common word being said. Anyway...sometimes I'm walking along the street, and some guy will say "Hi, Mommy"....and I'm like..huh? HEY I'M NOT YOUR MOMMY! Like what gives with this? I wish some Spanish speaking person could enlighten me about this
1 person likes this
@cortjo73 (6498)
• United States
31 May 08
LOL! I have had a spanish speaking man call me that too. And, I have heard spanish speaking women call men Poppy (sp). It is a common term of endearment in that culture. It both bothers me and makes me laugh! But, I can't provide an answer for you as to why those words are used! LOL! Hopefully someone here will be able to. I guess I just have always accepted it as one of our cultural differences!
@fotojunkie (115)
• United States
30 May 08
I used to live in the South and everyone calls everyone "Baby." I personally don't particularly care for it but it is no big deal.
However, I heard a classic response to someone being called "baby" in the movie "Mad Money." Queen Latifa said it, but I can not quote it exactly. It was something about when someone calls her baby it reminds her of dirty diapers, sleepless nights and spit up on my last good blouse.
Hilarious!
@cortjo73 (6498)
• United States
30 May 08
I do live in the south and, I have only ever encountered one person calling me baby and that was yesterday on the phone with that guy. LOL! I have gotten sweetie or sweetheart before. But, not baby from anyone but that guy and my hubby. LOL!
And, that is funny even though you didn't have the exact quote. I can sort of get the drift! LOL!
@megumiart (3771)
• United States
30 May 08
For me it depends on the situation and the tone of voice used. xD
I don't mind if a woman calls me "honey" or "sweetie" with a kind voice tone, but if a man calls me names in a swanky way it'd totally creep me out.
1 person likes this
@cortjo73 (6498)
• United States
30 May 08
I agree with that! And, I know it is sort of a double standard but, I don't mind it as much if a woman calls me sweetie or something like that either. I guess maybe it is because, I am not intimate with women. So, for a man to call me a name like baby, it just feels too intimate because of the fact that it is a man. I hate to be one who subscribes to double standards. But, that is just the way it is. And, some men can be very creepy when they use pet names for women and that is creepy. It goes from just being a part of their personality...which is ok sometimes...to being lascivious. And, that is really creepy!
@conniverouss (50)
• Canada
30 May 08
I agree with you, when one guy did that and I worked behind the counter. When he came in the next day, i told him straight out that is was not appropriate to call me baby and i don't think my hubby would appreciate it. I dont need people to be looking wondering if this guy is trying to take me out.
I think men should have more respect and if they don't know your name call you mis or lady. like in the old days or simply ask your name.
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
30 May 08
I'll answer to a whistle or a "Hey YOU!" so any kind of endearment is a step up! LOL
Just don't pat me on the head! I hate that!!!!
1 person likes this
@kezabelle (2974)
•
30 May 08
No strangers can address me by Miss and my surname if they know it if not then its polite to ask or dont address me at all and I hate more than anything being called Darlin that smacks of intimacy and no stranger has earned that right!
1 person likes this
@cortjo73 (6498)
• United States
30 May 08
I feel somewhat the same way. I think the respectful thing to do is to address a person by Miss or Mr. or by their name if they have introduced themselves but, I just don't deal well with strangers using intimate pet names. I agree, they haven't earned that right!
@Strawberry7 (12)
•
31 May 08
I've got the feeling that pet words are loosing it's intimacy, and more and more people use them in everyday life, adressing to total strangers. It confuses me sometimes when that happens to me, but I just try not to pay attention to this.
1 person likes this
@cortjo73 (6498)
• United States
31 May 08
I think that is one reason that I didn't like it when that guy called me Baby. It is a very intimate term and one that only my hubby uses on me so, I wouldn't want my hubby to use it on another girl. And, I think the guy who called was married. He had a couple of hollering kids in the background that he explained to me were playing a children's game which is why they were so loud. He may not be married but, I am guessing those kids didn't just become a part of the world as they must have been birthed which means there is or was a female in the picture at one time and, I would think that she would rather he keep Baby for her and not dole it out to every female he speaks to. LOL! So, maybe you are right and pet names are losing their intimacy. But, not in my home!
@jillbeth (2705)
• United States
30 May 08
I don't mind when little old ladies do it, you can kind of expect it from them. In fact, I've been catching myself doing it lately! Oh, no! I'm becoming one of them.
I don't care for guys to do it, though, it just seems too familiar. I guess the tone of voice he uses is what would either offend me or not. With some people it's just a speech habit that doesn't really mean anything. I guess I would prefer honey or sweetheart to "hey you" but I definitely wouldn't like being called baby.
1 person likes this
@cortjo73 (6498)
• United States
30 May 08
LOL! I don't mind when older women call me something like sweetheart either. And, the guy was friendly. He wasn't doing it because he was being snarky or anything which tells me that is just his way. But, baby is very familiar and intimate. Sweetheart is intimate but, tolerable. Baby is off limits to me, to anyone but my beloved. It is just weird! LOL!
