People usually think I'm happy

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I always appear happy. It's my job to make people feel better. I get a lot of gratification from relieving headaches, neckpain, and sore muscles. The hard part is seeming happy before I get to work on a body. I pretend that life is good and my children are good and hardest of all my ex-husband is good. Finally, when I close my door to do a massage, I can concentrate on making someone feel good. That's when I'm happy. Then I come out to the real world where I'm happy to be paid, but all my problems are out there. I want to feel that content all the time, or even more of the time. I guess there are very few things that truly make me happy.