Living with anxiety

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Back in January work had me overly stressed out, I dreaded everyday morning having to walk into the office and put with the day's BS. I have to admit that it got pretty bad. I would get up in the mornings while drinking my coffee I would break down in tears. Anger fueled my life in a very frightening way and this is when I knew that something was wrong. On January 30th. on my way to work I broke. I simply couldn't take anymore. From doctor to doctor, mental health worker to crisis assessment unit and psychiatrist, I was diagnosed as having severe social anxiety, generalized anxiety disorder and panic attacks. Generalized anxiety took hold of my life at the moment. I would suffer from insomnia pacing my kitchen floor through the night often crying myself to sleep and waking in tears; I couldn't eat and spent much of my time in a fog. I was prescribed Antivan for those times when sleep would not come and I needed somehow to find some peace of mind. Here I am now in May. I've been through CBT 4 years ago for 3 1/2 years of therapy which I thought had helped me surpass this and now have had a major relapse that is a rough climb. My GAD is under control now but my social anxiety is a severe disorder that slowly I am facing the dragon and learning to live with it and accept it for what it is. Social anxiety has crippled my life in such an intense manner. Shopping malls, theaters, concerts, stores; I even have panic attacks in the doctor's waiting lounge and feel intense anxiety and nervousness walking down the street during daylight. but I am not giving up; not on my life. I have now been prescribed Celexa for my severe anxiety, am attending monthly support groups and am currently in a 10 week program that deals with anxiety disorders of all kinds. The panic attacks are at times severe and at other times tolerable. I have not had a severe one in three weeks where I can taste bile in my throat, can't feel my legs, or fear not being able to escape the situation before I lose consciousness. Living with anxiety is a life long journey with its many ups and downs, happy moments and relapses. It is a continuous trial of the mind, body, and soul. It can be exhausting and it can often leave one in a despaired state but I still believe that somehow it can be dealt with, accepted and learned to live with.