What can I do and How should I feel?
By bjbailey
@bjbailey (114)
United States
May 31, 2008 2:58pm CST
Ok I am not going to name any names because it is an ongoing investigation.
I just found out resently that my daughter molested my sons daughter (her neice) whom is only 3. My family member made her come out and tell me herself. I was just shocked. I never have thought she would do anything like this. I am raising her 2 little girls and I dont want to let her anywhere around them. My family member takes them every other weekend. I am afraid that she will try and go over there and try and see them. She has court ordered visitation but because of the cercumstances it is supervised. I talked to the detective and she said that it was up to me if she sees them or not but if it is supervised then it should be ok. She did go to the police and confess what she did but she didnt tell them everything. What in the world am I supposed to do? I have to protect the girls no matter what. I just am so confused on how to feel towards my own child. I cant even stand to be around her right now and maybe I never will. Should I feel this way or should I be there for her?
2 people like this
2 responses
@xXxMikesWifeyxXx (3072)
• United States
6 Jun 08
Oh wow, this is such a hard place to be in:(.
your daughter.whom youve loved so dearly all her life has done somthing to endanger your love for her. How does a mother just loose all love for her daughter?.
Of course the littles ones need taken care of and protection your daughter can can protect and look out for herself. but thoes little girls cannot..
And mabey at this point in time if she wants to see her kids it should be supervised, because of what she did. you cant let that happen again. man i feel so sorry for your sone too.
How it must feel to be so betrayed by your own sister.
I wish you and your family the best in everything to come..
@Winter08 (441)
• Canada
4 Jun 08
This is a tough one, bj. I don't think anyone wants to believe someone they love can so harm another.
I have to agree with the first responder here. In my view, your first priority is your 2 little girls. They do not have the mental reasoning nor the physical size to protect themselves from preditors. Your adult daughter does ... whether she chooses to use her reasoning or not.
As the adult care giver of those little girls, you are their best source of safety. And if that means your own daughter is without your support ... she is an adult and there are other sources of support she can access, agencies that could perhaps help her deal with whatever drives her to this behaviour.
This does not mean you love your daughter any less. Just that you may have to love your daughter from a distance while loving and caring for your granddaughters.
I hear a saying somewhere years ago, something along the lines of: "I love you, I don't love your behaviour."
