Why is it so hard to let go of someone you loved?
By Rileys_Mom07
@Rileys_Mom07 (81)
United States
May 31, 2008 4:22pm CST
I have a friend that I met about 7 years ago. I met him 2 years before I met my husband. We met at a convention while we were both in college. We lived an hour and half away from each other while we were in college. So it was kind of hard to see each other but not really. I could go see him and we did spend a lot of time together. I guess you could call what we had as dating but it was always very casual. We more or less had too much going on in our lives to really concentrate on a relationship between us. The problem is, is that I fell in love with him sometime during those first 2 years. I never told him I loved him and he never told me. I knew I could not make him love me and it just wasn't something that was going to happen with us not getting to spend a lot of time around each other, but the time we spent together was magical. To make a long story short..
In the last few years we have discussed all of this. How I loved him and never told him, how he was not ready for that level of commitment back then and how he is now. Which is very frustrating since I moved on and got married. I love my husband but there is a big issue standing in between us- his kids from a previous marriage. This has caused a lot of strife in our marriage and I find it has pushed me back into revisiting this issue with my friend.
I am trying to figure out why it is so hard to let go of this friend from long ago. Is it because I have so many unresolved issues with him? Is it because there are issues with my marriage? I think it is because I never told him that I loved him so many years ago.
So what do you think? Have you ever loved someone who has returned from your past? What did you do about it?
4 responses
@ZephyrSun (7381)
• United States
6 Jun 08
Have you ever thought that maybe you're still in love with this man, and that because the issues with your husband's children have caused between you two, to not love him completely?
I had a boyfriend and thank goodness he isn't in my life any more, but we broke up and he started dating my (at the time ) best friend. Their relationship was rocky at best, and everytime they broke up he would try to come back to me. I allowed it to happen one time thankfully I was able to figure it out fast as to what he was doing. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life getting hurt everytime he went back to her.
@abibramwell (23)
•
6 Jun 08
think you should follow your heart.....Me and my boyfriend have been together 5 years and we are just in the process of spliting up..Its the hardest thing to ever do and you will shed many tears but you have to follow your heart..Life is to short to be with someone you dont love for the sake of a house, or marriage, This may sound harsh to some people but is how i feel....goo luck to you i hope it all works out
xxx
@jesbellaine (4139)
• Philippines
31 May 08
My boyfriend will leave this month to work abroad and it is really hard letting go of him to be far away from you but I know he is doing the right thing for both of us. We just need to be strong.
I think you need to settle things with your husband first then decide if you really want to continue your relationship with him or move on with someone else.
Goodluck!
@excellence7 (3655)
• Mauritius
2 Jun 08
It is simply because love is the greatest power on Earth and losing this power is really very hard for anyone. Love is an eternal bliss and blessing, no one would wish to lose it...
