Going back to being just friends. Is it possible?
By Pirate_Arg
@Pirate_Arg (472)
South Africa
May 31, 2008 4:48pm CST
Things haven't been working out with my now ex-girlfriend for a while. It wasn't that we were fighting, it's just that we ran out of points of interest. The relationship got boring. Before we were going out, we were friends. I was talking with her today (the intention of meeting being to break up, sadly) and she suggested that we stay in contact and just revert to being just friends again.
My question is, is this actually possible? There are a lot of emotions involved in a relationship and when it ends one tends to feel a bit uncomfortable around the other person (at least I do in my experience).
So, can we just go back to being friends without the whole awkward avoiding eye contact for a few months stage?
4 responses
@aowaow (1516)
• Indonesia
2 Jun 08
It takes a lot of time and patience, and forgiveness. I usually don't bother anymore about someone who's gonna dumped me. A friend does acts as a camouflage in the vacuum time, which means it will be faded by time, some may pass through it. But in my experience, none was succeeded, the gap was just too wide rather than common best-friendship. I know you still love her so much, but there's always a time to heal this and recover your friendship with her.
@Pirate_Arg (472)
• South Africa
2 Jun 08
The way that it ended up in the end is that we seemed to be acting more like close friends anyway. It just wasn't working as a relationship anymore since there was no real passion but it could work as a friendship. I'll just have to see what happens.
@jesbellaine (4139)
• Philippines
31 May 08
Yes, for me it is alright if you become friends with your ex-partner if you both have settled things out with each other. Also, as long as you both feel the same thing then that is fine.
@Pirate_Arg (472)
• South Africa
1 Jun 08
We both feel the same way and I think it is going to be fine in the end. I'm just worried right now about a bit of awkwardness at first. Usually it would be fine because an ex-couple could just avoid each other for a while but we are at the same school so we are invariably going to run into each other. Then there are the people around us who probably will want to talk about it... I'm not looking forward to the next few weeks of school.
@kerriannc (4279)
• Jamaica
31 May 08
You can be friends after breaking up with your partner. You were friends before so it will not be hard. This is also healthy because then you will not blame each other. You will realize that the relationship reach a level that you both do not like so decided to move on. How one run out of point of interest in an relationship. I thought it was these interest that brought you together. I wish you all the best.
@Pirate_Arg (472)
• South Africa
31 May 08
Well, we were able to have a good time just hanging around together but the conversation became old quite quickly... there just weren't enough common interests that gave us enough things to enjoy doing together.
Thanks for the well wishes.
@Mirenia (199)
• United States
31 May 08
Of course its possible to be friends with someone after you break up. Me and the couple of ex boyfriends that I have are friends, one of them is even my best friend to be honest. As long as you dont bring up things that happened in the relationship then you'll be alright as friends and possibly grow to be best friends or even grow to want to be with them again and possibly get back together. If you feel uncomfortable being just friends with her.. then give it a couple days or something before you start the whole.. hanging out as friends or whatever it is you'll do or even tell her.
@Pirate_Arg (472)
• South Africa
31 May 08
Thanks for the comment. I suppose I'll just have to take it as it comes and see what happens.
