Why men change after marriage?
By dlm6171
@dlm6171 (60)
Trinidad And Tobago
May 31, 2008 9:50pm CST
This question really baffles me even though it does not apply in my marriage!Why is it that men is so good at courting and after marriage it becomes a task to even remember there own wife`s birthday. Sometimes they are so clueless about even where they met? I mean my girlfrinds and I was having a conversion about these sort of things. It will be intresting to hear from those who are able to continue to work hard to make marriage exciting!!Please no Husband bashing!
1 person likes this
4 responses
@miller23231 (873)
• United States
1 Jun 08
I'm divorced now, but I have to say that my ex-husband never changed after we got married. He may even have been a little more attentive. He liked being married. I did too, but I guess after we had our kids I grew up and he didn't realize he had to. Too bad, we might have had a great life together. He was abusive, but you know how battered women are, I could handle that until I had kids! Oh well, live and learn...
@dlm6171 (60)
• Trinidad And Tobago
1 Jun 08
Sorry to hear about your divorce, I hate the word. It is a sentence by it self. I think it is such a shame for a man to abuse a woman when there are other ways to handle conflicts. At least you could look back and know that you were a good mother and still be there. I remember my mother gave me some advice on my wedding day. She said do not think marrige is like this, there will be days you want to pack up and come back home. Those days you will understand what in good and bad times mean. Ofcouse my husband and I pray about things , I never had reason to pack up and go back home. Marriage is beautiful once God is at the center of it. Peace
@annereinee (144)
•
1 Jun 08
yeah..it's such a wonderment..somehow my husband, he is still as particular with dates as ever. like 4 years to the marriage, we still celebrate every 3rd of the month because it was 3rd of may that we became on. but the passion, the desire, the kind of addiction that i once felt from him is missing already :(
@dlm6171 (60)
• Trinidad And Tobago
1 Jun 08
I feel happy to hear that you both have a date night every 3rd of the month.I think as a woman ,becuse of our cycle, we also have mood changes but as a Pastors wife told me, she knew of a couple who got married on the same date with me 11 April 1998. She told me on my 5th Anniversary ,that couple did not make it pass the honeymoon. I guess women change we are still nurturing and caring . We are pacifers sometimes. Still I believe that once children comes, the attention and affection is different in a marriage.
@rposta07 (240)
• United States
1 Jun 08
I think those men just start to take their wives for granted. they feel that they dont have to work for their wife's love and affection because they have already made the ultimate commitment. I dont think that men really think about the possibility of losing that person because they are married, whereas when they are dating, the woman could just break up with him if he messed up. I dont know, its silly! Men are just silly!
@kenzie45230 (3560)
• United States
1 Jun 08
Indeed, it probably isn't fair to lump all husbands in the "why did they change" category. Still, I think if there are changes, it usually does come from the husband in most cases.
I've had this same discussion with some of my friends. I think partly it's because women open up and show their feelings and emotions more easily.
I also think most couples don't do enough talking about things that will become important. Like where they will spend holidays - with his family, hers or by themselves making new traditions. For some people, how you squeeze the toothpaste or how you put the toilet paper on the roll is not important. But for others it makes a difference. These are things most folks don't think to cover. :-)
Perhaps men like to put their best foot forward while they're courting. Once they're married they probably think they can relax and let their real selves out. And, yes, that can be a big surprise.
