I need the toilet, RIGHT NOW!
By gemini_rose
@gemini_rose (16264)
June 1, 2008 10:23am CST
This is what I told my hubby when we were on holiday, and I was not kidding.
When away from home, I always have trouble going to the loo and end up not going for about 5 days of the holiday. I end up bloated and unable to eat, this time I decided to be clever and get something to take while away so that I would not have that problem.
So I bought some dulcolax, little tablets that you take that "gently soothe you to the toilet" and it was advertised on tele so I thought I would try it. I am always stubborn when it comes to going to the loo and when I read the instructions it said one to be taken of an evening, or two if needed but it suggested trying one first. But I decided I would need two because nothing ever works on me.
They were supposed to work overnight but I still had not gone when I got up the next day. I had a bad tummy though and because of that I did not eat anything until the evening. We found a nice place for dinner and hungry by then I tucked into a huge plate of fish and chips. After we had eaten we decided to go back to the caravan so we went back to the car. I had just got into the car when my tummy made the most strangest noise, and started bubbling. My hubby looked at me and said "What was that noise?" I said "Me, and I need the toilet RIGHT NOW!" I knew if I did not get to a toilet within the next few minutes I was going to cack myself, the tablets I had taken were just waiting for me to eat something, and as soon as I did the food just went straight through me! I sat in that car and clenched like I have never clenched my butt cheeks before and all the while I was bubbling and squeeking and the sweat was standing out on my head like raindrops.
My hubby put his foot to the pedal and drove down that seafront like a man demented, he knew there were some toilets along there somewhere but could we find them? I was in agony!! Hubby kept laughing at me and telling me that if I poohed myself he was going to take a photo and never let me live it down!! Then there they were, he parked up and I got out, and walking like a penguin managed to get there, only to find I had to pay to use them and I had no change!! O M G please do not let me cack myself, but my luck was in, someone had turned the lock so that it was open I just made it, how I do not know but I made it. Oh sweet relief. Needless to say that night I stayed in the caravan.
Moral of the story: Always follow instructions and do what they say, never think that you know best!!!
Does anyone else have any embarrasing "caught short" stories?
5 people like this
14 responses
@mummymo (23706)
•
1 Jun 08
ROFL I am so sorry sweetheart - I know that must have been awful for you but oh my it is funny for us! I have had those moments too and when they happen to me even at home it is awful cos I have to try and get upstairs to the toilet fast and one thing I cannot do is move quickly especially upstairs! lol
I can give you a good one though - My gran had an awful headache a few months back and took a couple of painkillers before going to bed - I had been worried as I hadn't heard from her and couldn't get her on the phone so my other half took me over to her house where I found her in bed , she told me about the headache and painkillers and when I asked her which ones she had taken she said she couldn't remember the names but she had taken them before and I left it at that. The next morning when I called I asked her which tablets she had taken and she told me Senokot extra - when I told her tehy were laxatives and not painkillers she sounded quite relieved and said that probably explained why she was sitting on the toilet most of the night! I feel like I should lock all her medications away and not let her have any unless I double check them! lol How she ever made it to 84 I will never know! lol xxx
2 people like this
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
2 Jun 08
Oh boy, at the time it was more than horrible, and I have never been in a situation like that.
Oh your poor gran, how awful for her but I could not help but laugh, did it take her mind off her headache though!xx
3 people like this
@christymac (150)
• United States
1 Jun 08
Wow rose, I am amazed you shared such an embarrassing and frightening (on my end) story.
I don't think I have any embarrassing stories, I've been lucky so far.
2 people like this
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
1 Jun 08
No, embarrassing would have been sharing a story of me pooping my pants
I am not embarrassed I found it quite funny once I was in the caravan and near the toilet!!
I am not embarrassed I found it quite funny once I was in the caravan and near the toilet!!2 people like this
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
1 Jun 08
LOL, I can imagine that experience gemini and the way you walk down to the place.ANyway, I have not experience anything like being stubborn but you made me remember my mom about it, WHen I invited them for a lunch and gave dad and mom directions to the place, my dad was listening attentively and all of a sudden my mom said, Ok, I know that place. Only to find out, they've been rotating and going back and forth and my mom can't tell dad where it is, my dad was pissed off and made me LOL a lot when they finally arrived the place!
2 people like this
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
1 Jun 08
I can imagine that your mum was not very popular for a while!
2 people like this
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
1 Jun 08
I have never taken a laxative before, so I have no experience with them. I have however had to go really bad while on the road before. I do not have a gall bladder and so grease foods go right through me. I have been driving home before when the need to go hit me like a ton of bricks. I live in the middle of nowhere, so there is a long time between places you can stop to potty. I once made it home barely in time. Did my little penguin walk into the house just in time.
2 people like this
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
1 Jun 08
I have never been in a situation like that before and it was not nice, not nice at all!!
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
2 Jun 08
oh yes indeed one year ago this past January I
started to bleed rectally so my doctor said go
to the emergency room at once. I had a seige
of diarrhea and while waiting to go through
all the paper work my abdomen began rumbling
and they would not speed up and finally it
happened so I had to waddle like a duck literally
with a pants full into the er where the nurses
had to clean me up and put a gown on me and a
big pad of chucks under neath me. wasI ever
embarrassed but the er nurses were pros and
were not at all upset by all of that mess.Needless
to say they admitted me as a patient and found
the cause of the bleeding, diverticulitis. had
four blood transfusions and had to wear adult
diaperswhile I was in there. most embarrassing.
1 person likes this
@mistorri (3)
• United States
5 Jun 08
Hatley, as a nurse, I am happy that my fellow sisters in the ER helped you. Diverticulitis is nothing to laugh at. I am sorry you had to suffer such embarrassment. Just remember, you were in the right place for it to happen. The blood transfusions and good care made it better I am sure. We nurses see so many things that nothing can surprise us. God bless you.
@ruby222 (4847)
•
1 Jun 08
OMG Rose...what a sorry experience!!..I dont usually do bowel talk because it reminds me of a very weird week with Mother...she had constipation of the highest degree..she phoned me to tell me she `couldnt go`..I was wondering what I was meant to do..but as the day wore on it became really clear that there was a problem,either body or mind..im not too sure which.The Doctor sent a nurse..who after putting Mum into a compromising position duly gave her an enema..this was followed by another four enemas...then a visit from a GP who advised her that had she `not been` by the morning they woud be taking her into hospital to clear her out..what a though....Well I then found Mum marching up and down the front room like a lunatic,I asked her what it all was in aid of...she replied..Ive got to get this moving!!....Well after seeing more of my Mother than I had in all my years,plus having no rest,plus a Mother who was marching up and down the lounge ..I was begining to fear for my sanity....but then there was a Dyno rod sound coming from the bathroom....I felt like cheering....she came out...sweat drenched and smiling .....she had `been`....but to this very day im not too sure that she wasnt doing a little bit of attention seeking....due to this fact we dont say `bowels` in this household too often.
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
1 Jun 08
FOUR enemas, my goodness does she like pain or something!!
I have seen one of those performed and I can honestly say I would rather pop than be subjected to that!!2 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
2 Jun 08
Well, I never have to worry about using a laxative due to the medications I am on, etc. The only time I ever have that type of feeling, is when I have ate something that does not agree with me somehow. It truly is an awful feeling indeed.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
7 Jun 08
Hahahahaha what are you like lol
I am so glad that you made it so lol as nothing is worse lol
I would have loved to have seen you walk like a Penguin though I think I would have laughed that much I would have peed myself lol
Thank you for what you sent to me, silly, lol I really appreciate it
I will call you soon, Sweet
Big Hugs xxxx
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
7 Jun 08
It was funny, but believe me at that moment in time I did not DARE laugh! You are welcome xx
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
8 Jun 08
would you believe I have the opposite trouble it runs out of me like water and I cannot hold it ever, I once I needed to go so bad I had to go in a back yard behind houses.
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
2 Jun 08
Oh gemini_rose! You and I are alike in this respect. If I go somewhere out of town, I'll get all stomped up like no body's business. lol I don't know why other than there's something different in the water that our bodies aren't used to. Some people it does the opposite and others it doesn't bother them at all. One time, hubby and I were still fairly newlyweds and we rented a pop up camper and went camping about 6 hours from home. I got so stomped up that I was miserable and finally had to tell my hubby in which we got up in the middle of the night to find a store, any store, somewhere there has to be one open!!!! lol Finally found one and paid out the behind for the pills which I think were correctol or something like that. Well, I took two thinking it would do the trick for I was so miserable and went to bed. Well lo and behold, in the morning my growling grumbling stomach woke me up and I flew to the bathroom which is nothing but a shower curtain for a cover and no top what so ever and here I was on the toilet, making all kinds of noise in which I was dying from embarrasment!! I just knew I was going to wake him up!! I just knew he was pretending to be asleep and I was so sick to my stomach that I had to let it all go or else pop like an over blown balloon!!!! lol When I was done, I was exhausted and went back to bed and covered myself head and all!! I wanted to dig a hole and bury myself so I'd never have to face him again!! LOL To this day he swears he never heard me. Yeah right!!
@kiran1978 (4134)
• Australia
2 Jun 08
That is funny, little penguin, careful that might be your new nickname. I bet you won't be making that same mistake again. I would have definately only taken one tablet. I find it strange how usually you don't go to the toilet in the whole 5 day, gee, that is a long time.
I have had many times when I have really badly needed to go to the toilet. One day I was busting so badly I had to pull over on the side of a street, luckily it was dark, and I had to quickly go. My friend was in the car laughing her head off, I thought it was better that I did it outside of the car then in. There was noway I could have held it any longer. Don't know why I just told that story, oh well I am sure we have all had funny toilet stories atleast one point in our life. 
@jewelenterprises (1996)
• Australia
2 Jun 08
Oh my, that is bad gemini. I can relate to how you feel though. I suffer from irritable bowel syndrome and when I need to go my bowel spasms painfully... and it is a case of 'I've gotta go!'
I've had embarassing moments the other side of the workings though. I remember when I was pregnant with my oldest daughter. I was at a new years eve party and at about 11:45pm I needed to go potty. However, I was in a conversation with one of those people who never knows when the shut up, you know the type! I was trying to figure out how to end the conversation without seeming abrupt. I finally managed to do so by saying to them, 'If you'll excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom as I've been holding on for the last half hour.' Anyway, just as I was leaving the room I sneezed... no warning, it just hit me! Well, you can imagine what happened... I sprayed halfway down my damn leg and ran the rest of the way to the toilet. I came out just in time to should 'HAPPY NEW YEAR' then grabbed my husband and said we needed to leave. He gave me a dirty look and asked why... I just showed him the wet patch on my clothes down the inside of both my legs. We left immediately!
I know people expect this to happen to pregnant women... but it doesn't stop it from being highly embarassing.
1 person likes this
@bjbailey (114)
• United States
2 Jun 08
My two sisters Rose and Betty was at Toys R Us and they were laughing and joking around and Rose said I gotta fart. Well I was a bit more than gas. Rose looked at Betty and whispered "I think I sh!$ my pants". No sooner did she say that the smell got to Betty's nose and she started gagging. The bathroom was clear accross the store and so it was gonna be smelly path. Betty started laughing and gagging so bad. She made it out of the store into the car and sat there waiting for Rose to appear. After 20 minutes Rose comes out of the store and was red faced and laughing. When she got into the car Betty asked her (while still laughing hard) if she got herself cleaned up and what she did with her underwear. Rose looked at her and said 'I was not going to wear those smelly things home so I took them off and threw them away in the bathroom, and as I was leaving 2 female employees went in and came right back out gagging and cursing. I had to hurry up and get out of there'. That made Betty laugh even harder. She told Rose that she was never going to go shopping with her again unless she was wearing a depend.
1 person likes this
