I cautgh my best friendpants down with my lovely wife.

Don't react. That's easier said then done but you'd be best to go off somewhere and cool down. You've just been betrayed by the 2 people that mean the most to you and I'm sure your emotions are mixed and strong. If it were me, I'd pack my things and go stay at a friends house for a while. I would not speack to either of them until I was calm enough to talk rationally. When you are ready to talk...talk to your wife. Hear her out. In talking to her, you will know whether or not your marriage is salvagable. It may or may not be. As for your "friend". He is not your friend. x him off your friend list. Truthfully, it takes two and your wife is as guilty and wrong as the so called friend. I, personally would leave the marriage as well. Some couples have, however, been able to work thru these things and grow closer and stronger. Only you can decide that one.

I'd say your going to have to sit down and make some decisions. Whether you and your wife can work this out and whether you can still trust her after this. Also whether you still want to be friends with your friend or just cut him loose. It's hard when ppl cheat but usually there are problems going on that lead to the cheating. Good luck with it. **AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~

you are in middle path. they both were behind you. there must have been something taht you really nissed out. try to have frank talk. if your wife and friend can mend their way, then ok. otherwise think alternative.

you should try to understand what made you wife to behave like that, just take your time and then ask questions and study the way your wife and friends feels about the act, if your wife is already in love with your friend and can let go, then think of leaving the marriage, cos once a woman is fed up, it's hard to make her change her mind, then like someone else said, if you want to forgive her, are you sure you can forget and live peacefullly with her again.

This is going to be tough for your and I am sorry. I think the answer is going to lie in your heart. Do you think that you will be betrayed again by your wife, then you can not live with that distrust I believe. I could be wrong, but who knows.

I don't think you want finish with either coz if they all mean alot to you. So make clear why this happen,why your wife betray you?because of your fault,your ignorance of her feeling,or you little company make her lonely?or does she love ur friend? Talk to ur friend and ask why he prefer ur wife?Does he love her or just play. Then I think you will find what you should do. I'm sorry about this matter,anyway be reasonble coz worst matter has best solution.

i dont really know what to say about this, but somehow i managed to think that your friend and wife must be unto something. but you of course had to talk this through with your wife and your friend. talk to them and tell them how you felt. Im sure they will have reasons to tell you and you have to decide if you should believe that or not.

Wow, this is a tough one. You love your wife, no doubt, so it is difficult for anyone to tell you to leaver her, or to stay. But a best friend that would sleep with her is not much of a friend at all. I happened to have married my best friend, so that won't happen to me. Each person would react differently to this and no one would judge you in any way. I personally would not be friends with my 'best friend' any more, ever. Simple enough. There are some lines that should never be crossed and that is one. My wife, well, it would be hard to just end the marriage, but I am not sure if I could ever trust her again. Best wishes in this.

Unfortunately, she has broken the trust factor and that can never be fixed. I personally do not believe in 2nd chances. Not in something as serious as this. I would have to end it. Sorry. Good luck.

I think they probably so love you just don't know how to be faithful

Go and front yuor best friend and I don't think he deserve to be your best friend. That is not what a best friend should be doing. As for wife, perhaps a long talk with her will do.

You have to do what is best for you. All we can do is offer advice and our own experiences. So far everyone on here has offered some great advice. It has been my experience that a woman cheats because she is unhappy, she is not in love with her husband, she is looking for fun and adventure and a few other reasons. Out of three marriages that I know the woman cheated only one worked out. all three of the marriages the man forgave and took the wives back. Two of the wives continued later on in the marriage to cheat. They did not love their husbands and thought they were in love with someone else. Those two ended in divorce. One wife only once made a mistake she ran off with the mans best friend for a couple of months. The man loved her so much he waited for her, talking to her when she would let him and eventually she realized her mistake and came home. They worked it out. My theory on the best friend is a friend who would sleep with your wife is not a friend worth having. You have to figure out if you love your wife, if you can forgive your wife, and if she truly loves you, and if you both will work to save the marriage. I hope that everything works out for you.

A friend of my fiance's has just been through the same predicament. If I were you I would think long and hard about it as well as talk to your wife about it and maybe lay down some rules or guidelines. I wouldn't be strict and possessive but I would definitely try to talk to her and get her take on what happened and decide for yourself not only if she sounds ashamed but also if you would be willing to forget. Good Luck!

i'm sorry & don't mean to sound hateful but it probably was not the first time it had happened. you just caught them this time. he wasn't much of a friend & she wasn't much of a wife,

I could never forgive them and I say walk away from them both and start a new life. If you have children try to make it as civil as possible. That is just the biggest betrayal because your wife not only cheated on you but with your best friend which shows she really doesn't love you as she should and with it being on your bed too. Have they no shame???

its very sad, now you have to take call. be calm and talk with your wife first and then with your friend. just listen what they have to say in this regard. if you think they are much deep into it, may be time to consider other options.

I hope you had the good sense to beat the dog crap out of your former friend. There is no excuse to do that to a so called friend. I would just let them have each other and go on my way. Divorce her and take her to the cleaners.

from my poin t of view i wud say its gud that the truth itself has come to light as early as possible coz maybe u wudnt be knowing what all they must have done behind your back .and for this trhe solution wud be to sit with your wife and talk to her not with anger but with comfort and love .find out the reason she was with your friend and what area u lack.try working this out .im sure it wud work.if not go hammer and tongs at yr friend for crossing the limits of your friendship

As I just posted in another discussion cheating is never a forgivable offense. You should leave your wife and your friend behind both. They are both beneath you and not worthy of your love or friendship. Keep in mind that this cheating means that they are not the people you thought they were. Don't think of it as losing a friend and a wife, but as your eyes being opened to people in your life who were not who you believed them to be. Would your best friend really be someone who would cheat on you with your wife? I don't think so, the only possible solution is that the person you thought was your best friend never truly was. You thought they were someone they were not and you were friends with that person who doesn't exist.

It is really hard when the only persons that you loved and trusted the most are the ones who will hurt you in the end. Maybe you should find time for yourself so that you could think of what should really be done. I know that it still hurts you but someday you must face the problem and talk with your best friend and your wife. Then only through that is where you could pick up the broken pieces of yourself and move on with your life. Another hard thing is that things will never be the same again between you three. It's just a matter of acceptance that what happened in the past can't be undone. There is no other way but to move on with your life.