Friend vs. Friend : How do you cope with 'friend envy'?
By chezfrugal
@chezfrugal (84)
United States
June 3, 2008 7:42pm CST
I've had the pleasure of making two very good friends in the past year- a stay at home mom named Jeanna and a stockbroker named Joe. I found myself spending alot of free time with either Jeanna or Joe and until recently it was working out great. Unfortunately, both have such similar personalities that hostility surfaced when I introduced them to one another. As with most friends, Joe and Jeanna started expressing jealousy towards one another and complained about how much time I spend with the other be it on the phone or in person. It is driving me crazy! I love them both dearly and I hate to see this happen because I am hoping to start a business that will include both parties :( .
Have you ever had this situation happen to you? How did you resolve this amicably?
3 responses
@agihcam (1914)
• Philippines
4 Jun 08
I have the same case before with my friends.What I have left now is the real friends among the two,he act as second father for my kids.The old one raised the complaints and I did not bother about that.I did continue having told them that I do love them both and they are equal to me,but some people really have different character,I would say he is self fish ( sorry my friend ) and would like all my attentions goes to him,but he did not understand that they are both friends of mine,until then,he gave up our friendship,so left the one which I could say my real friend,because he did not even say something against the other one.Thanks.
@chezfrugal (84)
• United States
4 Jun 08
I'm so happy that you were able to filter out your real friend, agih! Right now I'm in a bind because both friends are so close to my family and I can't bear to lose them both due to this jealousy. ::sigh:: i guess it doesn't end after high school, does it?
@agihcam (1914)
• Philippines
4 Jun 08
I know what you feel,but I would say that the only things you can do is to convince them to stay with you,and the decisions is still them.If you already talked to them and told you love them both and don't want to loose and did agreed to some conditions,say having fair time with them,then for me it is difficult for you and jealousy may still happen.Being a close to your family,I guess they can easily understand the situation,but again the decision is with them,so just love them and explain any issues clearly.If still doesn't work,then it is not your fault,but hopefully you can manage it at the end.
@chezfrugal (84)
• United States
4 Jun 08
I've tried but they're both so stubborn! I thought it was cute back in grade school to have friends fight for you but this is ridiculous :) Still, there's no point in quitting, right?
@gunslinger (184)
• Philippines
7 Jun 08
It may be good if you explain to them that both of them are good friends. Both of them are mature enough to accept it, right? If all three of you are able to hang out together, then it will be good if you introduce them to some other friends. That way, they have other friends they could talk too, or hang out with. I hope it will also make them realize that being with friends doesn't mean you'll only have all your time with them.
