Processing some issues of death and dying...

United States
June 3, 2008 8:05pm CST
When a loved one dies, if I may ask, how do you handle it? What rituals surround death in your community? I do not give flowers for funerals (I once worked with a cemetery worker who brought flowers to me from folks' graves... how ghoulish!). I am a firm believer in "give me my flowers while I can smell them." Of course, flowers can be interpreted to mean many things, i.e., spending time with a loved one; simply giving of yourself. What say you?My mom (87), died on May 15, and I was very happy for her as she had lived a full life, was ailing, and she was tired. I had seen her the day after Mother's Day and I think I realized her time was short. My sisters, nephews and nieces, and I planned her funeral, or more a "celebration of life." We have lots of entertainers in the family, so when a family friend could not sing her favorite songs, my sister and niece sang "Amazing Grace," and then a niece recited an original poem, "A Grandmother's Love," and the remainder of the entertainment was done by either her daughter, granddaughters and one great-granddaughter. Relatives and friends stood and spoke of her and what she had meant to them. I left feeling great... happy, even (Mother was suffering dementia and living in a nursing home).
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1 response
@barehugs (8973)
• Canada
4 Jun 08
An observer can learn a lot about a family when one of their members die. If they cry and scream they are thinking how much They will miss the relative. If they are happy and planning a party they are thinking of the deceased and the party is to celebrate her life. I like your Post and I can see that your Family were thinking of your Mother and planning a celebration of her life.