Do you punish yourself?

When i make a mistake i tend to dwell on it way too much and beat myself up over it. I know i probably shouldn't and should just move on and try to learn from it but i admit i am really hard on myself when i know i make a mistake with something.

The moment I realize that I have committed a mistake I ponder over the facts that made me to do so and make a vow not to make that mistake again.As I learn from my mistakes I always give myself a chance.I don't ever punish myself.The pain and guilt by the mistake are punishment enough.And I believe that no amount of punishment in the world can change a person who is not willing to change.

Very Good Post! I would say - "To err is the human and to forgive is the divine" and also 'Man proposes and God disposes'. Like you, I have also come to a conclusion that 'mistakes' are integral parts of our life, we keep on committing mistakes in our life, despite various warnings and advices. When you take some action, when you take some decision, mistake(s) are likely to occur. Every decision cannot be a perfect decision. I sometimes feel bad about the mistakes committed by me in my life, but I rather try to forget those so called 'mistakes'. Because I feel - when I took a decision for a particular event in my life, I would have applied my mind and experience to arrive at a decision and at that time I would have felt that I am going to take an appropriate decision, it became clearer only after taking a decision, whether that decision went in my favour or otherwise. I do not feel like punishing myself, because I feel I did take some decision, instead of keeping the matter pending indifinetely. I do not wish to repent on 'wrong' decisions, because it is said that 'there is no use of crying over split milk'. I rather try to forget those decisions, which did not go in my favour and I look forward in my life. I try to learn from my past mistakes, wherever it is possible to make corrections. However, if I find that there are some decisions/mistakes in life, which cannot be reversed, so I leave them as it is.

Oh no, I don't dwell on my mistakes or punish myself, all such efforts would only depress and demoralise me. I can easily detach my mind from the petty mistakes I do, I perceive it as a learning experience and move on. If I've committed a blunder, I give myself some time to recover and rekindle my spirit; meanwhile, I relax and enjoy the present. I may go for a long walk, listen to music on the puter, sleep, meditate, read books on spirituality or just spend some quiet time doing nothing (both physically and mentallly). One way we can possibly refrain from repeating mistakes is, being more patient, careful, thoughtful and not making decisions hastily. I mean, take your own sweet time, weigh all the pros, cons and side effects, before jumping into any conclusion. Just plain following of your heart without reasoning and speculating can prove costly and hurtful in the long run. Therefore, in short, putting more brain into work will help you refrain from repeating your mistakes.

Hi dear nice discussion, sure when u proceed in life and either its professional side or social side of life, we do mistakes , but i dont think we should punish ourself for that as its what u called EXPERIENCE. u get experiences but main purpose is to learn from ur mistake and should not commit it again and use these experience to take further decesion in future. But on the other side if we do anything/mistake rationally then i am sure again we dont need to punish ourself as our self conciousness will tell us that we did wrong and keep us reminding it and generating REGRET feeling. and those who pass this stage are not aware what is right and wrong so HOW they can punish if they cant differntiate?? Ooopss, did i say wrong

Hi Mimpi, There is no point in punishing yourself and others for a mistake done inadvrtently. If you have done that mistake knowingly, and intentionally, then someone else will punish you for that. If you have done something and realise your folly later, it is better to regret it and come out with apology to the person concerned, vowing that you'll not repeat it. I am of that type, I am always ready to accept my mistakes if they are shown by others. I was very frank earlier on but nowadays I have become somewhat quiet. I donot like to comment or tell others anything unless asked for. So I prepare myself before doing something, think twice before acting.

hi mimpi:) well i know what you mean, i also did alote of mistakes, but i always learned from them and i do think that it helped me in becoming a person. i do not punish myself for mistakes i have done, and there are mistakes that i still am doing, even though i know that it is wrong. like choosing again and again a partner with the same behaviour patterns. there are things that you know that you should not do, but it is deeper then that, and takes a long period to solve them:)

Nopers, I don't punish me and I don't punish anyone else either if I can help it. I do think it is better to use positive reinforcement whenever possible. I also don't feel that if I have make an innocent mistake that I have done something wrong. Mistakes can usually be fixed, Or, at least, I guess I should say that I am pretty careful and unlikely to make the kind that cannot be fixed. So if I do make a mistake it gets fixed right away, if possible and my belief is that it is always better to give a little more than one takes. Sometimes we get burned behaving like that, but usually that kind of thinking creates abundance instead.

good question. i guess i do not punish myself in a conscious way but perhaps subconsciously i do because i use food to destress and when i am upset about things and as a result i have a weight problem. so in a way i do. you are so right though about making mistakes and learning from them. they do make you stronger and a better person in most cases. some people take lifes mistakes and do negative things with them.

I have made alot of mistakes in my life time and no I don't punish myself for it. I try to learn from my mistakes and move on knowing that next time hopefully I won't do it again. No one is perfect and I don't believe anyone should punish themselves over it.

I'll not torture myself when i done something stupid. I'll cry about it and then wipe off my tears and jot it down somewhere to talk to myself that I'll not do that next time. Then, I'll treat myself with a nice food to cheer myself up. Don't punish yourself, being alive and healthy is far more better than anything on earth.

i also have made some mistakes in my life biggest being having back answered my parents and troubled them when i was in college..till date i tell sorry to my mom for my behaviour and she just tells it is ok but i feel very guilty abt it still...i normally try not making deliberate mistakes but if i do i agree and apologise for my folly..i never repeat it again i make it a point not to repeat...when i spank my son i cant help crying bcoz it hurts me and he is absolutely wild so i also loose control..

Hi mimipi! I'm sure we all make mistakes in any point of our lifetime, I made them too. A few years ago, I used to torment myself for every mistake I had made, even if it was not noticed or even if I was forgiven.. Torment as in keep thinking about how it happened, why it happened, and all the "what if"s.. I was so depressed and even hate myself for it. One day it struck me that I had achieved nothing and all I did was being self-pity. I start to learn well from my mistakes, move on and try not to make the same errors again. I believed that everything had both sides, it depends on which side we all see, and that for everything we lost, we gained something else.

There are mistakes that we can control, then there are life happenings. Since my son passed at 21, I punish not only myself for doing/not doing the right things in his life. My younger children feel the pressure because I have become so over protective, they are hardly allowed out of my sight. When the 13 year old wants to stay with friends, I assume it is because I have done something wrong. Normally, we would count this a regular thing fro yount teenagers. Actually, parenting does not come with a book, we just have to accept the responsibility and try our best. It is the people who stop trying or are too self involved that need to become better persons. Help groups and talking with others can show that maybe our situation or actions is not as bad as we feel. Do you have any ideas on how to handle the guilt and low self esteem? Is it because of something in the past that makes us feel this way?

I try not to punish myself. I really do think that it is done and over with, and there is nothing more to do than forgive myself, learn from it, and move on. Still there are some things that I just am not able to forget. Every so often some stupid small mistakes pops up in my head and makes me feel embarrased. I do not know how to make it stop.

I understand that mimpi, is not about literal punishment here. When i make mistake,yes i do ponder over it again and again,.. and analyze it how it would have occurred. I learn from my mistakes very quickly.. also, when some one, else is experiencing the same hardships like that of me.. i rush to help them.. so that they won't make the same mistake like me. Take care friend.

Hi mimpi1911! I have done a lot of mistakes, big and small. I have learned from all those mistakes. Sometimes, I regret doing it, berate myself most of the times but at the end of the day, I reflect on the wrong things that I have done and learn from it. I swear that I won't make the same mistake but there are times that I do. And with all those mistakes, i treat them all as learning lessons which made me somehow a better person. I teach myself not to forget the pain that I have felt and that I may have inflicted to some people in order for me not to make the same mistake again. Take Care and God Bless!

Oh I make many mistakes but I always try to learn from them to stop from repeating. I don't beat myself up over them though. In fact some of my most recent ones are typing mistakes on here. Ellie :D

Yeah..i do have learned a lot also from my mistakes in the past life i had....nOw i would probably say that im happy that i was being Born Again as they say... and to the fact that a lot of me has changed well that makes me better person i am noW...and hopefully for a lifetime... YEzz i do also Punish myself when i did Wrong sometimes...i do as like fasting means not eating for about a week or one way another walk alone in the dark...and mostly pray to God and submit all my wrongdoings to be cleanse thru his mighty Power of Which o strongly Believe in to take over my Life become better one... actually im not just punishin myself mistakes but also with other peoples mistakes ... *jamn* -live life-keep it simple*-***

I have also made many mistakes in life and the final moral of all this was to walk alongside with truth. I have been such a bad human at times and have broken so many hearts. I have been the cause of so much tears. I have been the reason of so many problems. By undergoing all these situations, I finally realized that I must not repeat my mistakes and I have started to change myself because I was really feeling very guilty. It is rightly said that we learn from our mistakes and I really learned from my mistakes. I have noticed so many changes in me- and my greatest support is truth which is framework of a good way of living and for a good character :)