Honey-Do list...
@saigonwarrior (1331)
United States
June 4, 2008 8:18am CST
Do you feel that certain jobs in the household are gender specific?
As an example: Should men only mow the lawn or change the oil in the
family vehicle?
Should only women wash the dishes or clean the toilet?
How do you decide which job belongs to what gender in your home?
Is your decision dictated by your household or by society?
I feel that a job is done by capability and not by gender.
Are you strong enough or are you able to do a specific job?
So, where do you draw the line on what you will or will not do?
Are you traditional in your chores or?
How many men have a honey-do list?
That being said how would a woman act if a man drew up a honey-do list for the woman?
I knew a couple that did just that. Her husband made a daily list of chores for her to do before he came home from work and she was required to have these chores finished by that time. She was fine with
this, would you be if you were a woman? And do you make a list for
someone else?
I am interested in hearing your views on this topic.
5 people like this
8 responses
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
5 Jun 08
I think some jobs around the home are gender specific. I make my husband a honey do list for those types pf jobs. I also make him a honey do list for the things I need help with also. We both work seven days per week but I work more hours than he does. I have to have his helps sometimes to keep up with things around the home. I work at home and do what I can but he has more spare time than me after he gets off from work. I am still working at that time.
4 people like this
@saigonwarrior (1331)
• United States
5 Jun 08
I am home more than my husband, so I do what I can so that he doesn't have to. I mow, weedeat,
shovel snow, etc.
He has asked me to start him a list of things to do because he is very forgetful and not because I expect it from him and I have made lists.
But, he forgets to look at it so...
I just feel whoever has the most time should help out the other by doing more at home if humanly possible to take the load off the other person, it seems only fair to me.
Thanks so much for responding :)
2 people like this
@highflyingxangel (9225)
• United States
4 Jun 08
I don't think any household jobs are gender specific. I think they just need to get done and it doesn't really matter who does them as long as the things that need done around the house are actually done. There are just some things that I do not want to do though, so someone else would have to do them. I don't want to mow the lawn or anything like that but if I came down to it getting down or living in a house with grass as high as the roof, I'd do it. Just wouldn't be my favorite chore.
And, I'd be pretty angry if someone made me a to do list that they expected me to have done by the time they got home from work. Then again, I don't like being told what to do. I guess I'm pretty independent. Then again, some women are fine filling the housewife roll and enjoy being told what to do and they see it as keeping their partners happy. Whatever I guess as long as they are actually fine doing it and they don't feel they have to do it.
3 people like this
@saigonwarrior (1331)
• United States
5 Jun 08
Yes, I am the same. There are jobs that I would rather not do, but if I am the only means to do the job, then I will.
If I can't do something physically then I will ask my husband if he wouldn't mind doing it.
I would never demand anyone to do anything for me. But, as you said, perhaps some don't mind being told what to do. (they probably do mind deep down and just won't speak up).
Thanks for sharing your views, it is appreciated :)
2 people like this
@drknlvly6781 (6246)
• United States
6 Jun 08
I do not believe there are any gender-specific jobs when it comes to the household for this simple question: Who would do it if you lived by yourself? When I lived with my children's father, we both did it all, the so-called feminine chores such as dishes and laundry, to the masculine such as taking out the trash. We took turns, it was mostly whoever was available and at home to do so. It wasn't a question of whose job it needed to be, just that it needed to be done.
2 people like this
@saigonwarrior (1331)
• United States
6 Jun 08
Exactly, and as it should be in my opinion.
If you are physically able and have time
then I believe, by all means, that you should
do the chore and not leave it for someone else
to do.
2 people like this
@irishmist (3814)
• United States
4 Jun 08
I think all chores around the house should be shared. I would not want to follow a honey do list, I like to do things my way and when I want to do them. I can't believe that woman was fine with having to follow a list that her husband made for her. that would be the day I ever followed a list.
3 people like this
@saigonwarrior (1331)
• United States
4 Jun 08
I think that chores should be shared also.
Depending on the time and responsibilities of each family member.
I don't make Honey-Do lists for my husband nor does he make them for me.
If I see something that needs to be done and am capable of doing it, then I do it. I don't need to put it on a list for someone else to do.
I am not that helpless..lol
But, yes, I agree about her being fine with the list. She did not make him a list. I mean, honest to God, he put list things for her to have done by days end, cleaning, shopping, yard raked and oh my! I have to run
I have a lot on my chore list to do today!!!
Yeah, right...uh huh..His weekend list would look like novel...
2 people like this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
1 Aug 08
When I was married, I would have crumpled up a silly list if my husband gave it to me. I wasn't his child nor his slave. If he wanted me to do something for him and asked me respectfully, of course i'd do it but chore lists? NO! I never wrote them out for him and it would not have set well with me had he written them for me. I'm single now and have been for a long time. My children were all girls and so there was not and never was an issue of "gender" chores. Even if I had sons, there would not be that issue. I grew up with 2 brothers and we all took turns with dishes, mowing the lawn, taking out trash etc. My dad also did dishes and vaccuming. i don't change my own oil...I pay someone to do it but that is only because I really don't have the place to do it in nor the time....i could tho.
1 person likes this
@saigonwarrior (1331)
• United States
1 Aug 08
I totally agree. Growing up we were the same.
I had 2 sisters and a brother and we did what we
were capable of; well, except for my oldest sister.
She always cried and was afraid of "breaking a nail"if she was ever asked to do anything.
I guess that was her way of getting out of chores because it
worked.
I have sons and yes, they know how to vacuum and do dishes, too.
Thanks for sharing:)
@snel27 (48)
• United States
10 Jun 08
i've been married for 6 years now and i've always told my husband when the house is messy it's not just my mess and if he see's something needs picked up or washed then do it. Growing up my mom did all the housework and my dad did all the manly stuff like car repairs,remodeling etc.. But i just think if my husband leaves clothes on the bathroom floor he needs to pick them up. Men are so use to there moms doing everything for them they bring that attitude into the marriage. Luckily my husband doesnt complain with my theory. He happily helps clean. And i do stuff most women wouldnt do as well so we balance each other out pretty good.
2 people like this
@saigonwarrior (1331)
• United States
10 Jun 08
Yep, I am the same way. I just powerwashed the inside of our stockade fence this weekend and the steps leading to the house. It took all day long to do it too.
Most women wouldn't dream of doing that themselves but would have a man do it for them.
I have also crawled under a car to find out what was wrong and am not afraid to look under the hood, either.
So, yes, I know exactly what you are saying.
My husband also picks up after himself as far as dirty clothes and the bathroom..etc.
Thanks for responding, it is appreciated.
1 person likes this
@villageanne (8553)
• United States
20 Jul 08
I was raised the traditional way. Women work in the house and men work outside the house. I tried to keep that tradition up until I got sick and was unable to do my work. Now my husband has to do my work most of the time. It was a hard thing to get used too.
@saigonwarrior (1331)
• United States
20 Jul 08
Aw, I am sorry to hear about that :(
I do most of the chores meant for women too. I just think that I do them
better because I am accustomed to doing so.
It would be a hard thing for me to get used to, too.
I am a very proud woman.
@applefreak (3130)
• Singapore
22 Jul 08
well there are chores that are gender specific. i believe the men should be responsible for the lifting and heaving of things. in my family, these are left to the men though i try to help out where i can. there are chores that women can do better though, generally speaking. things like sewing and cooking. at home, we distribute the chores evenly as all of us are working adults except my parents who are really getting on in years. i'd only do all the chores if i don't have to work. cheers ;p
@saigonwarrior (1331)
• United States
22 Jul 08
I would have to agree with the heavy lifting.
I also think that men are just stronger and made
for heavier work.
As far as the cooking...blah, I hate it..lol
My brother and his girlfriend also both work but
he loves to cook and does it so much better than her
so he cooks in their home.
I also have a good friend where her hubby is a wonderful
cook and he assumes that chore.
Lucky her..lol
Thanks for the response, it is greatly appreciated :)
