Does your boyfriend or spouse compare you to his ex-girlfriend? Or, to his mom?

My ex husband use to do the same thing to me. I think because he knew it would make me upset. I guess. Tell her not to let what he says about his ex girl friends get to her to much I mean. We can't all be a like. I think the worst was when he fussed about something I cooked. He would say that his last ex wife cooked it better.

My bf doesn't do like that coz we are both the other's first.But recently I found that he always think about me in the way his elder sister told hm.His sister told him that she is also female and she knew what do I think and feel. Obviously,his sister is not me and her little smart thought feiled.Such things caused some bad effects on us coz my bf always follow her mind and think about me in the wrong direction. I've been tired of that and I think I cannot bear such things any more.

My husband has never done it directly. But I sometimes FEEL that he is comparing me with his mother. He talks to me about certain things he expects from me and the first thing that springs to my mind is his mother and that that's how she is!But when I tell him that's how I feel, he brushes it off saying that it's not what he meant. Maybe that's true...but I somehow feel he is comparing though he doesn't point it our by comparing it with his mother or ex-girlfriend.

LMFAO OH HELL NO! and I'll tell you why...First off I'm like NOBODY ELSE...this is very true and both of them will testify to that as will many other ppl I know..and #2 if either of them (my bf or my hubby) were to do that they'd get a swift punch in the throat right quick I can't stand when partners do that to their partners..it makes no sense to me at all and its actually quite rude and disrespectful IMO..

in a similar situation? not succed but if do I not open door...I sleep and dont earn......Myryam

No. I had an ex that talked about his exes constantly, and it was really irritating. Usually he was saying that I was better about some things than them, or whatever, but he basically lived to complain about ex girlfriends. Talk about a turn off! I'm sure whoever's with him now hears lots of gripes about me now, and that's perfectly fine with me.

If any man in my life ever did this to me, I would kick him into touch so fast, his azz wouldn't touch base. No... I'm sorry my friend, but this is verbal and mental abuse, and nobody but nobody should have to put up with that! The more your friend puts up with this, the more she'll suffer it! Brightest Blessings.

My husband has in the past compared me to his mother, the happy homemaker. I just tell him, "When you can be like my father, I will be like my father." That shuts him up pretty quickly.

I think if someone were constantly doing that to me I would have to cut them loose to find someone more like their ex or their mother - no one needs such undermining scrutiny in their lives and I cannot see it as a viable, healthy relationship! xxx

I agree.... I could not be in a relationship like that. My husband doesn't so it unless he keeps it to himself. When we first started dating I caught myself mentally comparing a little thing here and there to my ex-boyfriend. But, nothing too major and it has been a long time since I have done that. If my husband did this it would make me so paranoid. Why would he constantly be thinking about an ex? And comparing me to his mom would just be creepy. I don't know how your friend deals with it.

oh dear that's a very sad situation to be in. i'm so glad that my partner never did this to me. if the ex-partner is so good, then why didn't he stay with her? no one is perfect, and no one is perfect to deserve a perfect partner. we all have our own quirks and vices. as for your friend, i'd say ask her to start comparing his boyfriend with the man in her life. how some guys always have surprises for their girlfriends. how some guys are capable of supporting the family. maybe this will make him realise how bad she must feel when he does that. cheers

My husband doesnt compare me to others but I admit that I do it to him! He is super lazy so I'm constantly like my dad does this your dad does this but you dont blah blah blah. I know I drive him nuts and I try not to do it but its hard. He gets really mad about it and flips out but at the same time he will think everything his father thinks so I don't know why he doesnt work harder like his father does etc.

No, I don't recall being compared that way. But I remembered an instance when I did something that reminded my then-boyfriend of his mother. hehe. It was making a list of finances. lol!

My boyfriend never compares me to his ex-girlfriends, most likely because I am a lot better as our relationship is currently 7 months and his longest previous was 2 months and many of them only lasting a couple of weeks. He sometimes compares me to his Mam, but that is usually when I am telling him to do his work, which his Mam as usually asked me to tell him as he listens to me, but not to her lol. It doesn't bother me.

My man does not do this. It would irritate me like nothing else if he did. I could not live with it. My advice to your friend is to tell him how it makes her feel, and ask him please to stop. If he slips up she should remind him. If it doesnot stop she should just remove herself from the situastion and hope he learns. If not she will have to figure out if he has positive sides that outweigh this. But I do think a constant critizism kills someones spirit and makes their lives miserable

The minute the comparison would start is the minute the bedroom dorr would get slammed into his face or what ever door was closest and he would be spending the night on the couch. Grrrr. I am my own person I will not strive to be or act like a SO's ex's or mother. And would be quit upset to be told that their ex did this better or what not. my response would also be along the line of then fine go back to your ex we see how well that worked out don't we.

My boyfriend used to compare me to his mom but I got on him about it so he stopped. It got annoying. I'm glad he loves his om and is close to her but he puts his mom on a throne like no one else can be better than her. I started cooking meals after we moved in with each other and he always made comments like, "well my mom does this when making that or she uses this or she doesn't use it" well I cook differently than your mom. Everyone has their own way of doing things, doesn't mean its wrong. When folding clothes he says his mom folds another way,when I did his hair, he said his mom does it another way, when sewing, his mom does it another way. It made me so mad that I yelled at him and let off a rant about his mom and how he thinks shes so perfect. After that he stopped. I wonder if he knew he was even doing it.

No he has never compared me to anyone. I don't think that comparison is necessary since each and everyone of us is unique and if our partners love us, they should accept us for who we are and for who we are not.

well my husband, before we were married mentioned it once in an argument we had that he'll always consider his ex-girlfriend over me for everything JUST BECAUSE I DIDN'T IRON A SHIRT FOR HIM. He's lucky that I'm still here today with his two children:) Every time I think about it I do feel hurt and really annoyed. My advice is if he did that more than once, MOVE ON, you're too blessed to be stressed.

No. My girl friend never compares me with another human being. She would compare my love with the stars, or moon, but will never compare me with another human. And i think its very rude if a person's spouse compares with that persons mother or ex-girlfriend, unless that is if he or she is telling you are better than his or her ex. My girlfriend dont have an ex-boyfriend. Im her first love and she is my first love. We are getting married soon.