Should I date him?

You made a very wise choice. Excellent thinking and very insightful. Okay, you can stop wondering about that guy and move on. Hold out for the one who has the same beliefs as you.

Hi Anawar, When we had a chance to speak a little more about his beliefs, he advised me that he's had difficult interactions with the church as a child and he just doesn't believe in organized religion which is okay. Although, I have a religion by choice...I don't necessarily believe in religion. I think a personal relationship with God is more important than which religion you belong to. Thanks

Hi Anawar, Thank you for being interested:) I responded to another response saying that after talking for two hours at O'Charleys, we drove by the water and ended up stopping, sitting and talking for another three hours in the car. So I was about to ask him how he felt about me and me being alot less educated than he and about how much more he's accomplished, when he says suddenly "is this about my beliefs". of course I said, "hat about your beliefs?" He then proceeded to tell me that he does not believe in God. I was shocked! He said he could tell my faith is strong and he thought that was the problem. now I'm not a Christian who walk around saying Praise God all day of even talking about Jesus trying to save the world, but he said that he could see that about me. I was flattered because every Christian want the presence of the Lord to be all over them. Anyway, we went on to discuss how most Scholars do not believe and it's not that he doesn't think about it, it's just that he doesnt feel it to believe. Needless to say, I'm confused. I know what I have to do. I know that I can't follow a man who isn't following God. He says that he doesn't get that whole thing and that I shouldn't be following anybody. I beg to differ. I do believe in equslity; however, I believe that a man is the leader of his house and he can not lead me if he's not being led by anything but his own sense. I don't know what you believe and I apologize if I'm affending you in any way. I think you're intelligent enough to understand (even if you do not agree with my beliefs)my dellima. I would never push my beliefs on anyone; therefore, I'm just not sure what to do with him now. I could never choose a man over my God. Period. I don't care who that man is or what he has especially. Men have let me down...my God, Never!

I am having dinner with him in about an hour so I think I will take your advice and talk with him. I think he'll understand too. He's said to me before that he was afraid that I'll think he was too old for me. Thank you for your help!

Good luck! I'll bet it goes just fine.

Okay update...I was going to take your advice and found out before I could talk to him about it that he doesn't believe in God. I'm so frustrated now...I don't know what to do. I really have to pray on this one. Everything else that I was afraid of doesn't even matter now. I am Saved and I'm not sure I'm suppose to date someone who doesn't even believe. He says that most scientists don't believe in God. I know that this is means for another topic. I'm really confused now.

Hmmm ,i'm agree with what you said , jhartana.I am not sure if two people with large difference in age can go togeter as lovers .May be they can attract each other a lot ,but i do not think the two can go a long way together .because i think our daliy life is not just about attraction and understanding of both ,there should be more things and the difference in age may cause many questions as the time goes by ... What's more ,there would not be any help way to the wrong decision especially on the life's choosing ... Best wishes to you ... Hope you be happy...

Thank you. I've decided to date him and we have alot of fun together and we see eye to eye on most issues in part because we know how to talk and agree to disagree on the issues we don't agree on. Thanks for the comment.

Have fun tonight ! ah, it is only as old as you feel . You are welcome!

Thank you so much for that positive feedback. He does treat me well and I am meeting him for dinner tonight so I will talk with him. Afterall, he's said to me that he was afraid that I would think he's too old.

Thank you so much Shelia for that comment. Since two weeks ago when I wrote that message...we've been deeply connected to eachother. When I wrote that message we had dated about a week or so and had had a conversation about his beliefs...since then he's advised me that he'd grown up in the church and had experienced some awful things within the pulpit. He'd been discouraged from believing in preachers and the congregation of hypocrites. He's not ambivalent about going to church with me and my feeling don't tell me that he's trying to finagle me. So I believe that he has faith just not in religion because he's told me that he believes in God he just doesn't believe in religion which I can personally understand and relate to...although I have religion...I can see how a person may not want it. Sonia

hi. your reply just put a smile on your face. glad to know that all is well and there's someone taking care of you and your kid. =)

Well...I will take your questions one at a time. All of my life, everyone has told me how proud they were of everything that I've done, (ie. had a child, gotten a degree, given speeches at different high schools about life and what I've gone through, traveled, take good care of myself and child, gotten married and had the strength to get a divorce when things got out of control) things like that, so I'm not the type to get offended about it because I'm not used to it happening. I am a mentor and a psychologist to a degree and I have a degree in Computer information systems and all kinds of certifications. but anyway, there's no competition I just wasn't sure what he was thinking about it. Since then though, he's told me that he was in love with me and he was scared that I would think he's too old so we both were going through our worries. I've talked with him about my concerns and he's assured me that he just wants to treat me like I've never been treated before and be with me forever. I'm really not scared anymore, he's assured me and has proven already that he loves me. About him not believing in God, he's told me about some bad experiences he's had as a young man and kid at the church and I understand that it's not that he doesn't believe in God, it's that he doesn't believe in organized religion. I wasn't sure at the point which I wrote that response. I like your advice and questions though and I thank you for bringing these things to my attention. Thanks,

Yes yes that is right, the outcome at your expenses

Thanks for the comment. The age issue was just that an age issue and I do not have that issue anymore. I've decided to date him and love him for him. I was just saying that I was afraid at first if he'd think I hadn't accomplished enough for him, but I've gotten over that quickly. I don't care if people stare and the last time we went out nobody paid us any attention. I was really talking about his family and my family, but all of that doesn't matter anymore because they know now and everybody is fine with it:)

Thank you he's actually said that to me. "How is it that a woman like you would be interested in a old man like me?" It's funny because he had his own worries that we've since talked about. Thanks for comment.

Thank you Nesha1, We are definitely considering a commitment. I've been married and divorced, he's been married and divorced and we both have daughters that are (mine)12 and (his)13 and 19(he's told both his daughters about me already). We have so much in common it's scary. Neither one of us know right now if we want more children and we both want to get married again. He's already given me his memoir and I'm learning so much about how he grew up it's scary. I think I love him and I don't love easily. Thanks, ljforte

Thank you.

Good idea!I agree with you.