I Need Your Help Ladies!

He sounds like he may just be a compulsive spender (obsessive compulsive disorder). That's an illness that can be treated with medication and therapy. But I can't say for sure. He WILL need to see a psychiatrist or therapist. What did your husband spend this money on? From your post, it doesn't sound like it was for necessities. My husband is like that; not quite as bad, but bad enough. We have joint checking and savings accounts, and I have my own accounts. He knows I have my own, and when he ran through the money he made from the sale of his house (he bought it before we were married), he started to ask me for mine. I had to put my foot down. I gave him some because we're starting a new business and he (of course) needed a new computer and new software ($7,000.00 worth!). Then, the incorporation fees I had to pay for, then the website server, once again on me. That I didn't mind so much, but when he tells me I need a new something or other for my computer, I say "No, I don't." This man bought me an ATV for Christmas! I'm 56 years old and have fibromyalgia, lupus, and arthritis. Now what am I going to do with an ATV??? I never asked for one, I never said I'd like to have one. I wanted a rider mower to cut our grass! I'm glad I'm the business manager and treasurer of our company! I have an ex who spent like yours. I came into the marriage with $14,000.00 which I foolishly put into our joint account. Within 6 months, it was gone. He never once mentioned that he needed it for anything, never told me that he was withdrawing it. I got a much better-paying job and he started spending money that I haden't made yet! I was driving 60 miles to work each day and he worked around the corner. He bought himself a new truck (which he didn't need)! When that job didn't work out (2 hours to get to work, 10 hour mandatory day, 2 hours back...too much!), he got angry with me and told me I had to find a better one. You can see why he's my ex. I hope you can find the answer to your problem, and soon! I agree that you should open an account that he doesn't know about. It sounds like that is the only way you'll ever have any money. Good luck!

Are you on his account? I would just take some money and save for future. Man always like to spend money, they are very selfish. Poor money management for sure. Is he spending some money on you? You better check every transaction on this account. It doesn't sound right for me.

I have a similar story but it has not gone as serious as yours I think. My boyfriend and I live together and he is a big spender too. Every time when our account is steady he would buy something or the other but would not understand that it's impossible to fulfill all the desires at the same time! I love him and I can't stop him to buy the things he's crazy about. But recently, I tried to explain him that we should save up some money for our future and I know he understands that very well but I don't know what happens to him again and he can't resist spending money. But I'm happy that at least he is not wasting money just like that, he always buys things which are necessary and useful in the future. Before he used to spend a lot on toys and gadgets which would freak me out totally.Later on he always realizes that he has spent a lot and decides to earn double. I hope he sticks to his words this time. I am also thinking of opening a separate secret account where I would deposit money every week. I guess this is the best way to save up. I can advise you to talk to your husband about it and try to explain him. That's all I think of which can help you out.

dealing with money matters can really be difficult in a relationship, a lot of marriage are being on the rocks and broken afterwards because of this bugling issue. i don't have an good suggestion on how you can make your husband learn frugality. but what i know is that he needs to learn his lessons hard.

Okay so i understand him. i am just like him. I could be in the worst mood ever. and if you give me 5 dollars to spend at the store. when im done i will feel so much better.Mabey when you guys get a big amount of money like that. give him a certin amount to spend and transfer the rest into ur own account or somthing. obviously yall needed that money for somthing. or you wouldnt have barrowed it. I think hes addicted.. there is counceling for that(im not trying to be funny) im the same way,

I don't know how to keep his spendings in line. What does he spend for anyway? I guess there really are some people who can't control their spending habits. It's a good thing that you recognize this and are the thriftier person in the relationship. Do go ahead with opening your own savings account. I think it's the nest move for you to do at this stage. But also, make sure that he doesn't find out about it because he might think that you don't want to share your funds for him. He'll try to get his hands on your hard earned money and you'll have to start from scratch again. Good luck my friend!

I know this is easier said than done but my suggestion is for you to put your foot down now! If he still gets paper paychecks have him sign them over to you and deposit them in your account that he can't access. Give him an allowance but pay all the bills and household needs, pay some towards the borrowed money, and put a little away in a savings account before he gets his share. If he gets his check through direct deposit, demand he hand over his checks and bank card. You need to take control of the family finances before he destroys the life you're building together. What's next? Five maxed out credit cards? Foreclosure on your home? Also look into getting him into financial counseling. He needs it desperately.

I do not know of any ways to convince him! But I do have my own checking and saving account, and the one account that he has, I invited him to join me! He was paying fees to cash checks before that, so we both benefited. At least you can save some of your money that comes in, and transfer money from your joint account so that he cannot spend it all! Money can be quite a problem in relationships!

i am now a widow but I had a similar problem so we decided to have a checking account to pay bills with, then two checking accounts one for each of us, and two savings accounts, again one for each of us. he began to actually start saving a little out of each paycheck. and I did the same. I stayed at home' when the kids were little then went back towork.

I'd be making him take back all the material things he bought and returning those items (30 day return policy in most places). I'd be taking all credit cards away and the bank card (I've had to do this before with my spouse, my sister has had to do it too with hers). If he can't be responsible don't give him the responsibility of it. He needs to learn that spending money like that can break a relationship and destroy him (and you) financially. My take is, act like a child get treated like one (in the respect of responsibility and owning one's actions).

i agree with you there. You should open your own account, so you'd be safe financially. But, of course, you should also be able to talk to your husband about it. tell him that you need to save for your future and be able to pay for your debts.