Can anyone relate?

Depression can be debilitating. I suffer from bouts of it, but have had an easier time of late. I became disabled a few years ago and afterward went through a serious case of clinical depression. I had always been the provider and not being able to do so anymore, I was hit hard. It took me a few years to get through it. I went through a period where I would not go out. I was not agoraphobic, I just got real nervous around people. I can relate to some of what you are saying. You are not alone. A lot of folks feel that way. I was lucky. I had a few people who supported me amazingly. Nobody forced me to do anything, but they did try to encourage me. If not for the people around me I might still be going through it. I started out small. I could not go where there were crowds, that was too much. I took medication before I went out. Little by little, though I got more comfortable. I am now able to do anything. And without medication. I still don't like crowds, but I can deal with it. I had to realize the only reason I was on the outside was because I put myself there. It's hard to explain, but I had to become more comfortable with myself before I could make any progress. It came slowly after that. I also think my daughter had a lot to do with it. I didn't want to miss out on her activities and achievements. I have no suggestions or answers. I just want you to know you are not alone. Other people are going through this and have gone through this.

Jasmine - I'm my own worst enemy. I question my place, my existence within this world. I'm scared of everything and afraid of everyone. For years I've belittled and berated myself to the point now where I feel like I can't do anything right. I dropped the tomatoes today and almost broke out crying because I have this need to be perfect and perfect people don't drop the tomatoes. I have so much on my mind about all the things that I can't do that when my husband said how the salad I made was so nice and tasty - it meant nothing. For most of my life I had confidence within myself to achieve what I want and to do my best to get it. Now I can barely decide what to wear from day to day. I have this horrible fear of making my husband mad at me, so often I busy myself with cleaning the house and doing the laundry to separate my unworthy self from him. But even then I feel like I can't even keep up with the daily household chores as well as I should. There's this gnawing fear and self loathing that pushes its way to the top of my emotion and takes over even the smallest achievement. Sometimes, I cry for no particular reason. I see a therapist who has helped tremendously and I will be starting some medication later this week. I just hope that someday I can smile and laugh again. And mean it.

I have also suffered from depression and I was diagnosed with post-tramatic syndrome because of the circumstance my life has led me into. It was so hard and still is. I did have low self confidence as well because I had not had the chance to prove myself due to the circumstances. But in the end I realized that by surviving and not killing myself or someone and managing to take care of others in my life I had proven myself. I try not to be my worst critic although i am most of the time and It bugs the crap out of me. I am lucky i have my husband, he has been very supportive of me and i feel that he has helped alot. I wish i had the magic answer to help but i know it is something that one must conquer on their own. But i hope i can help . if you want to message me you are more than welcome to.

Oh you poor thing. I come from a family with depression in it. I hope when you were diagnosed they told you what type of depression it was. Were you given anything to help alleviate the symptoms? If not, you really should be on something while your working this out in counseling.

I don't know how you would feel about what I am going to say next but I MUST say it nonetheless. SEEK THE LORD!! I too was "diagnosed" with depression and I was on medication where I could not get out of bed before 11am and I decided to do something about it because I felt I was wasting my life away. I joined a group of women going through similar situations and wound up finding GOD in the middle of it. Not only that but I also made friends for LIFE!! Don't limit yourself instead.. push yourself TO THE LIMIT. You will be glad you did and you will be very proud of yourself for what you accomplished. God bless you!!

My postpartum depression develop into a mild depression. I cuold manage to help myself out of it, because I was too ashamed to ask for professional help or just say I have depression, cause everybody around kept saying there were no reason to be depressed. And people who suffer(ed) from depression we know well that the environment is not to blame! I believe that it's maybe chemical, who knows. And that people who are prone to depression are just a lot more sensitive than people who don't suffer from it. My approach was to take depression as an addiction: it was easier for me to cry and crumble than to face the world. So i took the same measures than AA or NA support groups: ***I said I couldn't be "fixed" but I could help myself not to fall in again. I admitted I was sick. ***I commit myself not to cry or have sad feelings for 24hs. I just took one day at a time. ***I discovered my illness was like a big deep hole. It was much easier to stay there inside and complain than trying to get out of it. I didn't take any medication, because I didn't get professional help, which I should have. Medication is not the miracle cure, it just helps, but the first one who has to decide to take you out of it is yourself. I'm just giving my personal experience, because that's all I can do. What I hated the most was people asking why i was depressed if i had a good/nice/fulfilling life.

jasmine I would get a different counselor as what you are describing could well be bi polar and you will need' medications for that and you will need a physcologist for that. please docheck this out for your sake.

I have had depression for quite a few years now, I am 42 and just recently came out of major depression. I started taking 50mg of zoloft and it pulled me out of it, thank god! But I still have issues. I have gained some weight since I got married and everytime I go to get dressed I change clothes about 10 times and then the anxiety builds up and I start crying, I also have an issue/obsession with my hair, it gets frizzy if I go out into the hot or humid weather, and if it rains it's even worse, I get axiety attacks from this, I think people are talking about how bad my hair looks or that I am fat, I start sweating even in air condition before I leave the house just knowing I have to face people. I am going to a therapist also, but I know that I have to change my way of thinking in order to help myself. It's all in my head, it's not as bad as I think it is. i have been doing alot of self help, like thinking positive and talking myself through it when it happens. I have been reading alot on the internet and I say to myself, I am beautiful, I love my curves, and I love my natural curly hair. I think to myself, I could have it alot worse. I am trying to learn to love myself because I am my worst critic. Well I hope you can get some help to relieve your anxiety, like medication, I think that will help you alot, I know it did for me as far as the depression, but I am also going to get medication for anxiety. But I have to say accepting myself for who I am is helping me alot. I am also like you, I do not want attention drawn to myself either. Well if you need to talk more I am here to try and help you. I know how alone it makes you feel when you are in depression, and no one understands if they have not been through it. Lora

It sounds like you also have some anxiety problems as well. Have you thought about talking to a psychiatrist. A psychiatrist could prescribe some anti-anxiety medication that might help take a lot of the pressure off of you if the dr feels that it would help you.

I am sorry to hear that you feel this way. I don't have any advise for you I just wanted to say that I am sorry for your situation and I wish you the best of luck with your treatment! Soon my your days be filled with happiness! Take care of yourself!

I, too, suffer from mild depression and somewhat severe anxiety. One thing that might be helpful for your therapist is family background. I come from a background of people with depression and anxiety. This can also be helpful with figuring out the correct medication for you to be on. My Dr. just switched me to something my Mother takes but it is not working for me. But sometimes what works for people in your family might work for you too. I would also think maybe about a different therapist, unless you are extremely comfortable with your now and changing would cause more anxiety. Just remember....your Dr. WILL get your meds right and alot of what your feeling is only temporary (even though it feels like forever). You WILL feel better.

Well depression is common in this busy world..though its bitter fact. So dont take it emotional to heart and try to come out of the past. Please dont give up confidence. Do yoga, you will feel a great heal and confidence. God bless you friend! Things will be better soon, dont give up.